Infernal Affairs movie review

Quick Review
I watched this famous Hong Kong film starring Tony Leung and Andy Lau last weekend. Tony stars as Yan, a police mole deep within a triad gang. Andy stars as Lau, a gang mole high up in the police service. After a botched gang cocaine trade, both higher ups charge their moles with finding the identity of the other group’s mole. And so a deadly game of cat-and-mouse begins.

First, spoilers for the ending. Quick! Look away! Yan dies, Lau gets away with everything.

The acting is brilliant, the music is really good. Lights, action, cinematography, everything about Infernal Affairs is brilliant except one thing…the plot. The characters are really too stupid for words. What bothered me the most?

1. Lau managing to get all sorts of information to his triad boss during a stakeout, with the rest of the police force sitting right by him. Eventually it’s revealed that the guy right next with him was in the triad too, which is why he got away with it, but at the time it really pissed me off.
2. Yan picking up his phone after Inspector Wong died. The first thing he should have done was trash that thing and hope the number couldn’t be traced to him. Better hope he had a special phone only for Wong affairs.
3. Yan trusting Lau immediately and going along with him, all while knowing of the existence of a triad mole within the police. Dumbass.
4. Yan having solid evidence of Lau being the triad’s mole and choosing to blackmail him with it instead of turning it straight into the police. THIS DID NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL! Did he have a deathwish? I can only conclude he had a deathwish.
5. Yan confronting Lau face-to-face before making arrangements to have the evidence sent to the police. This allowed Lau to get clean away with everything once Yan has been killed by a bad cop. What An Idiot!

The ‘Lau Wins’ ending evidently went down pretty badly because eventually they trotted the same actors out for Infernal Affairs 3 (Infernal Affairs 2 apparently does not deserve to be mentioned) where Lau eventually pays for his sins. Yah, whatever. Infernal Affairs was really gripping, but now that it’s over I don’t think I want to watch it again. But I was impressed by both Andy and Tony, so I’ll be looking for more films by them in the future.

Slacking off

I’ve been learning Cantonese lately so my Japanese exposure is limited to my SRS, Takamiy’s voice and some music from time to time. Sure enough my Japanese ability has started to fall off. Not so severely that I can’t function but still I’m getting a little rusty after 2 or 3 months. But Cantonese is so much fun! Anyway, I’m striking a compromise from this week going: one day for each language, alternatively. That should do the trick, hopefully. Now back to Pimsleur Cantonese, I’m on lesson 13.

Mr. Right Application

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Check those that apply..

___Your last name is objectionable. I can’t imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It’s just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You’re too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___You’re too tall. I’m developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase “My Mother” has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,

________

Male Assertiveness

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

“The funeral director,” said his wife.