Anime and Manga reviews
“I am a rabid typist. My work ethics are impeachable, and I have nervous of steel.”
“I am attacking my resume for you to review.”
“following is a grief overview of my skills”
“Hope to hear from you, shorty.”
“I enjoy cooking Italians and Chinese.”
“I speak fluent English and Spinach.”
“Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
“The funeral director,” said his wife.
The moment Kotooshu lost to Hakuho, the end result of this Nagoya basho was clear for all to see. Hakuho kept up his fine form, defeating Harumafuji yesterday and toppling Asashoryu today to win the tournament. It must be a welcome win for him, after losing out to Harumafuji last time and Asashoryu the time before. I’m happy for him, since I can honestly say the best man won this time round. Kotooshu needs to work on his stability, though I suspect some of it is due to his height (6 ft 3, right?) giving him a higher center of gravity. If he can conquer that and stay in good health, maybe all the hype won’t have been for nothing.
I hear Bulgaria wants to honor him with their highest award, btw. Interesting.
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.”
The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”
“Yes I do!”
“Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?”
“Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.”
“Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?”
“Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.”
“Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?”
“Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.”
“Well, what if that gun doesn’t work? What will you do then?”
“Well, then I pick up some of the shit that’s on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage.”
“Well, what if there ain’t no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?”
“Well, that’s dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don’t work, there’s going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that.”
Wooo hoo, what a day! Upset after upset, shock after shock! Yesterday was boring so I didn’t bother to report it.
First, Harumafuji got his kachikoshi against Baruto, improving to 8-3 while Baruto dropped to 7-4. All Baruto has to do to maintain a winning record is to win once more so I think he’ll be fine.
Then…Chiyotaikai! I swear, that wily old goat just came into this tournament to ruin everyone’s stuff. First Asashoryu, then today he dropped Kotooshu in a shocking move, sending him sprawling face first into the dirt. All well and good, 10-1 for Kotooshu doesn’t take him out of the running, and 6-5 for Chiyotaikai isn’t half bad.
But the surprises just kept on coming: another slippery veteran, Kaio, dodged Asashoryu’s advance, gave him a swift push and sent him running out of the ring like a bull. Cue a few cushions thrown into the ring, but nobody expects much from Asashoryu any more so the crowd didn’t get very worked up.
Next match, last match of the day…SHOCKER: Kotomitsuki powers Hakuho out of the ring! It was obviously a hard-fought match, but he did it! A rain, a downpour of purple pillows! Yes! Yes! Sorry, it’s good to see Hakuho lose sometimes, and this throws the whole tournament wide open! It’s anybody’s game now, with Hakuho, Kotomitsuki and Kotooshu all at 10-1. The match-offs between these guys in the next few days will show who wears the crown. In the end, there can be only one!
