Category: Silly Jokes

What can I say? I like silly jokes.

Chicken Surprise (silly joke)

Rhoda and Harry go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the Chicken Surprise.’ The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Rhoda is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

‘Good grief, did you see that?’ she asks her husband, Harry. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. Harry reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

‘Please sir,’ stammers the waiter, ‘what you order?’
Harry replies, ‘Chicken Surprise.’
‘Ah! So sorry, is mistake,’ says the waiter, ‘I bring you Peeking Duck!’

Rabbit jokes

Q: How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one if it hops right to it.

Q: If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have?

A: A receding hare line!

Q: What did the rabbit give his girlfriend?

A: A 14 carrot ring!

Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?

A: A hare dryer!

Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?

A: Bugs Bunny!

Q: What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style?

A: Hip-Hop!

Cat jokes

  • Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  • Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  • What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
  • How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
  • What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
  • What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpetrator.
  • Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
  • What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.
  • Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.
  • If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.
  • What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.
 

The Frog and the Rat

A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, “If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?” The Barkeep says “Depends on how good of a trick it is.”

The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.

The drunk, after killing his drink says, “If I show you another trick can I have another free one?” The barkeep says “If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night.” The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog.

Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink ’em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.

The agent wakes him up and says, “I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act.” The drunks says “Not for sale”. The agent says, “Ok, 100 grand for just the scatting rat.” The drunk say, “Deal.” The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.

The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, “Are you nuts? You had a million dollar act that you just broke up for a wimpy 100 g’s?”

The Drunk says, “Relax, the frog is a ventriloquist!”