Bench – one-shot by Masashi Kishimoto

A one-shot manga by Masashi Kishimoto, author of Naruto. I haven’t read any Naruto in roughly 8 years, but I liked it in the early days so the author is okay in my books. The blurb on mangaupdates is as follows:

Transfer student Yamaguchi Tsutomu has just joined the baseball team. Yamaguchi is overweight and can’t run very fast, so the coach places him on the “D” team. Unlike the “A” team which is has nothing but aces, the “D” team is filled with baseball misfits who don’t expect to see any playing time. Despite this setback, Yamaguchi is determined not to give up his dream of someday becoming a pro second baseman! 

The story behind Bench itself is… boring. I like baseball well enough, and I like stories about underdogs doing their best. That’s the story behind 90% of shounen manga anyway, so I might as well like it. But this story isn’t funny or interesting and it doesn’t go anywhere. The D-team does really suck, the A team bullies them for sucking, the main character shouts them down with garbage about Effort and Love of Baseball! But in typical Kishimoto fashion, the D-team suckers are also (ex-)elites, which makes them the same as the A-team and defeats the whole point of the “effort and love” story they have going on there. Why am I not surprised?

Anyway, the two D-team elites end up having a challenge against the A-team, but since they’re both elites it doesn’t matter who wins either way. It’s good this was a one-shot, because there’s no room for continuation. Two guys who were good and suffered temporary setbacks find a way of working around those setbacks. It sounds really heartwarming when you put it that way, and it might have stayed that way if Kishimoto hadn’t insisted on making the A-team A-holes and bringing up his [elite]-vs-[normal]=(elite wins and normal might as well not bother) theory again. In the end defeat = friendship, but the same goes for 99% of all other shounen manga so no surprises there.

Well, it was worth a read at least. I regret reading the online version though. It doesn’t read very well, and they got the Oh/Hanshin reference wrong right off the bat. The reason it’s a problem that Oh (the character) is a Hanshin fan is because he has the same name as the most famous Yomiuri Giants player of all time (Sadaharu Oh), and the Giants and Hanshin are bitter rivals. It’s like someone named George Best being a Manchester City fan, or someone named Babe Ruth being a Red Sox fan. Or something like that. I’m not too good at sports history.

Now, a minor mixup like that doesn’t affect the manga as a whole, but it doesn’t inspire faith in the translation either, especially when it’s so literal. “Anti-athlete’s body.” “Overly-serious tub of lard.” “As the ex-A team ace with a crushed shoulder.” “4th-seater.” (shouldn’t that be “cleanup?”) There should be smoother ways to put it than that.

Disclaimer: Translation is hard work, the translators are doing this for free and in a very short amount of time because they’re rushing to beat other releases (the fools), I make mistakes in my own writing and translation all the time. I’m just saying, that’s why I like to read manga in the original Japanese where possible. I was too lazy to hunt down a raw today, but stuff like this shows me that it’s worth the extra effort.

My boyfriend is a mooch.

Translated from Japanese for fun.

Original story here: http://komachi.yomiuri.co.jp/t/2013/0107/565121.htm?o=0

I’m a 48 year old single mother. I’ve been dating a 37 year old man for the past 3 years. For personal reasons we do not intend to get married. Last spring my son entered university. It is a very expensive school, so through that my boyfriend realized that I must have quite a bit of money.

Due to our age difference I’ve always been the one who paid for our dates. I even give him a little pocket money. Now he’s not satisfied with that any more. He asked for 30,000 yen (around $320 USD). It bothered me, but I gave it to him anyway. He said it was just that one time and thanked me and took it.

Now every time he sees me, he wants 30,000 yen. I think he loves me, but he’s started saying he won’t see me any more unless I give him the money. He’s so cruel. He’s given me the choice of either 30,000 yen per meeting or 50,000 yen per month. I’m not very happy about paying him every time. Do I have any other options, short of breaking up with him?

[do not reply]

Translator’s note: What an idiot…

Getting back with the boyfriend whose proposal I rejected

Translated from Japanese for fun.
Original story here: http://komachi.yomiuri.co.jp/t/2013/0331/583265.htm?g=04

A year ago, I turned down a proposal from my boyfriend of three years.

At first I said yes when he proposed, but right after that his company suddenly went bankrupt. He desperately tried to find work but couldn’t land anything. Eventually he got a job as a temp worker on a contract.Unfortunately he was making only 8000 yen ($85) a day with no bonuses, so honestly I had second thoughts about marrying him. Even if I continued working we wouldn’t be able to live a leisurely life. I want to be able to give my children lots of love, and they’ll only be lonely if their parents are both consumed with work.
I couldn’t help feeling that way, so I broke up with him. Since then I’ve been looking for a suitable marriage partner, but no one that meets my criteria has shown up in the past year.

That’s when I heard a rumor about my ex-boyfriend. It seems the company he temped for hired him as a full-time employee and they’ve already promoted him to a senior position. His income is fairly stable as well.

Upon hearing that, I realized that I still had feelings for him, and I want to get back together. He did everything he could to try and stop me when I wanted to break up, so I’m sure I’ve still got a chance. From what I hear he doesn’t have a girlfriend either.

I’m a little nervous, so I’m here to ask everyone for moral support. Thanks a lot!

[do not reply]

Accidentally rejected a reverse proposal

Agony aunt story, translated for fun from Japanese. There are idiots in every country, huh?

Original story here: …ooops, forgot the link and now it’s lost forever. Oh well.

I’m a 32 year old man with a 29 year old girlfriend. We’ve been dating for the past 5 years. She proposed to me last Sunday. Without thinking I immediately turned her down, saying “I’m sorry, now’s not a good time.” But it’s not because I didn’t want to marry her.

The thing is, it’s her birthday next month so I was planning to propose to her then. I’ve already got an engagement ring and I was just about to reserve a restaurant when she proposed instead.

I never expected to be the one receiving the proposal, and for a moment I thought about returning the proposal there and there, but I didn’t have the engagement ring with me at the time. I didn’t see the point of proposing without a ring, so I ended up turning her down.

The minute I said the words, I thought, “Crap!” but she just laughed and said, “I’m sorry, I guess it was too sudden. It’s only natural.” She didn’t seem upset, but since then she hasn’t responded to my emails or answered my calls. What can I do to make her feel better?

[do not reply]

Last Inning manga review (spoilers)

Last Inning is a baseball manga about a con bailed out of prison with the condition that he help lead his former high school baseball team to the National Baseball Championships (Koshien). I read from vol 1 up to vol 15 and didn’t like it for several reasons.

1. No likeable characters. Or rather no likeable ones on the protagonist’s team. There were a few interesting chaps on rival teams, but the main team was made up of either slavish do-gooders or whiny crybabies. This includes the management as well.

2. Main character Hatogaya is a self-confessed crook that gets away with massive fraud and scamming innocent people. And is not even sorry for it. I can’t support someone like that. He should be in jail or at least working his butt off to pay people back.

3. Too repetitive. Train, complain, train, play practice game, win, train, complain, train. The kind of training changes, the specific complaints change, but it’s the same old cycle in the end.

4. They try to paint the main team as the underdogs, but they haven’t been an underdog team since they almost went toe-to-toe with Virgin Mary Academy in volume 5-ish. Makes it hard to root for them when they’re so good they can’t find opponents on their level.

5. Apart from the pitcher, the catcher, the cleanup and the captain, everyone else is completely forgettable. This is usually the case in baseball manga, but it’s extra bad here because it makes the matches completely forgettable. Speaking of which,

6. Apart from the Virgin Mary game, all the other games they’ve played have been routine and boring with 0 (zero) suspense.

7. I am disillusioned by the fact that conditions mean nothing in the series – things work out anyway. The VMA game was based on a bet: beat VMA or you don’t go to Okinawa. But they lost. Yet they went to Okinawa anyway. That means the main condition of the series – go to Koshien or the team is disbanded – means nothing. The team won’t be disbanded anyway.

Besides, I skipped and read the blurb of the latest Last Inning volume out in Japan and they not only made it to Koshien but are in the third round against a Tokyo school (don’t blame me, I did say “spoilers” in the topic title). So, yeah. I’m done here.

Update: I hear the Last Inning series is now over at 44 volumes. I wonder how it ended? Time to find out!