There’s a rat in my closet! EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I saw it two nights ago, when I opened my bedroom door to see that filthy nasty, dirty, ugly creature running around my bowls, yuck! I have no real way of telling whether it’s a mouse or a rat, but it looked rather long and lithe, at least as big as my hand so I’m going to think it’s a rat. And then that night I left a bunch of bananas by my bedstead and when I woke up in the morning…they’d been nibbled at! Mr. Rat, these are your last days on earth. This weekend, I’m going to get some rat poison, mix it with the tastiest piece of fish I can find and put it out there for you to eat. And you’re going to eat it, and you’re going to die. Screw PETA! If they want to make themselves useful they can come pick up the dead rat body and dispose of it for me, so I ain’t touching that nasty thing. Brrr…vermin! Maybe I should call an exterminator.
