59th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2008 edition)

Welcome to another lengthy rundown, this time of the 59th Kohaku Utagassen (第59回NHK紅白歌合戦). I’m trying to catch up to the most recent version by the end of the year so I should be doing these things more frequently from now on. Don’t hold your breath, though.

The 59th Kohaku Utagassen took place on December 31, 2008 at the NHK Hall in Tokyo. The introduction and our hosts: Nakai Masahiro, Nakama Yukie with Nozomi Oohashi of Ponyo fame as guest. Cute, child-like voice. Now come the performers. Nakai with a shoutout to Tsurube from last year. You hypocrite, after you acted all cold and cranky towards him.

I’ve seen this general announcer Matsumoto Kazuya before… I think from the year before the last? The one where DJ Ozma took his clothes off. The other announcer is Ono Fumie, high up in a blimp over the NHK Hall for no discernible reason whatsoever. Oh, Japan.

Btw, the number in brackets () next to an artist’s name is the number of times they have appeared on the program in the past. It’s considered to be an honor to perform at Kohaku so the higher the number, the greater the star. In theory, anyway. In practice a lot of popular and talented artists aren’t invited or don’t accept for various reasons, but that’s a post for another day.

1. Ayumi Hamasaki 浜崎あゆみ (10) Mirrorcle World

What are these guys wearing… Love it. This isn’t really dancing is it, it’s just kind of writhing around on the stage. Oh well, it’s too early to start complaining and the song isn’t too bad. The musicians don’t look like they’re playing live at all. Things got more lively once she took her clothes off. That tends to happen a lot in life…

 

2. Akira Fuse (24) Kimi wa Bara Yori Utsukushii (布施明 – 君は薔薇より美しい)

Ah, I saw a staff member run up to tell someone something. They need to hide this stuff better. Last year Akira Fuse did dancing Takarazuka gilrls, this time it’s just some random dudes in white suits. Yeah yeah. And now women flashing their butts while writhing on the ground? Cute blue dresses, too bad they’re just an excuse to flash more panties. Bleh. I prefer plainer performances of this song, this is just too busy.

3. Girl Next Door (debut) Guzen no Kakuritsu (偶然の確率)

Polite smile from the Girl Next Door singers at this attempt to cheer them up. Is there some reason for the England motif? Rather boring song, but the vocalist has a beautiful smile. The other members look kind of bored, TBH. The keyboardist looks a bit like Ekin Cheng, lol. Whatever happened to this band? Ah so, they broke up in 2013. Welp, that’s that, then.

4. Kenichi Mikawa (25) Sasoriza no Onna 2008 (美川憲 さそり座の女 2008)

Eww, IKKO. What’s he doing here. And Kenichi Mikawa is singing Sasoriza no Onna for the third or fourth year in the row. Ah, another running staff member! And yet another one. Come on guys, hide a bit better. I’m tired of this song already, and neither his outfit nor the backing performances are all that special. No wonder he’s been dropped from more recent entries. Ah. Haruna Ai. So this is a samba themed version? With accompanying chicken dance? Nah, I still don’t care.

Haha, another sneaking staff member. Time to introduce the guest judges. Nothing too interesting here. Keiko Matsuzaka is a very beautiful woman. Some comedy group called Hige Danshaku? Haha, they made me smile a little. Okay, I lol’d a tiny bit.

5. Natsuko Godai (15) Kyōto Ninenzaka (伍代夏子 京都二年坂)

Interesting kimono belt and lovely smile as always. She looks like she’s lost a bit of weight since last year. These enka songs sound the same most of the time. The Mikura twins starring in some show or another are here for… well, it’s not Kohaku without that kind of pointless performance. According to Wikipedia ManaKana haven’t done anything of note since 2011. That’s the entertainment world for you, hope they milked their 15 minutes of fame while it lasted. Love the kimonos.

6. Takeshi Kitayama (4) Kibō no Uta (北山たけし 希望の詩)

Now a tribute for Endo Minoru, a prolific songwriter who passed away in October 2008, by Kitajima Saburo and Kobayashi Sachiko, two artists he wrote classic songs for. Nakai keeps stumbling over his words. Stop talking so fast. Endo Minoru also wrote this song for Kitayama. Another soundalike enka song. Nothing special at all. All the enka singers are there to cheer him on. How does Sachiko manage to look so tearful all the time?

7. Fujimaki Fujioka and Nozomi Ōhashi (debut) Gake no Ue no Ponyo (藤岡藤巻と大橋のぞみ 崖の上のポニョ)

Nozomi Oohashi “retired” from the entertainment world a few years ago, once the Ponyo boom died off and the entertainment world had no further use for a not-so-young child with a not-so-good voice. In fact at her final performance I forget whether it was Miyazaki himself or Joe Hisaishi, but one of them said they picked Nozomi Oohashi precisely because she wasn’t very good. They said she sounded more like a normal kid trying to sing, which was the precise tone they were going for.

None of that has anything to do with this performance btw, which is also a look back at 25 years of collaboration between Miyazaki and Hisaishi. It makes me nostalgic for old Ghibli movies. I rewatched Totoro recently and it wasn’t nearly as boring as I’d thought the first time. Couldn’t they have used a higher quality video fro the background, though? It looks so old, blurry and pixelated. Stylistic suck? Lovely, lively segment though.

8. Tōhōshinki (debut) Purple Line~Dōshite Kimi o Suki ni Natte Shimattandarō? (東方神起 Purple Line〜どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう?)

Introduced by the Blue man Group… for no good reason. I would have liked it if Blue Man Group themselves performed. I rather like them, but they didn’t really do anything and the audience really doesn’t know how to respond.

Don’t really care/know anything Tohoshinki or about boy bands in general so. I don’t remember what this performance was like either. …Ah, nothing worth remembering. Okay, moving on.

9. Kaori Mizumori (6) Wajima Asaichi (水森かおり 輪島朝市)

Lyricist Kinoshita Ryutaro who wrote some lyrics for her died that year so she’s singing this song to remember him. Yet another platform-hiding dress? Change it up a bit, lady. And what’s the point of crying even before you start? All these enka songs sound the same and the lyrics are similar too. I can’t believe I used to like enka. Or maybe I’m just not in a charitable mood today. Very nice performance and good voice but the song is just boring.

10. Aqua Timez (2) Niji (虹)

Used for the theme song of a drama called Gokusen. Like I care. Not a bad song though. I enjoy watching this performance but it’s not something I would listen to outside the program. Running cameraman spotted! I’d die if I took a shot every time I saw an errant staff member. It wasn’t this obvious in previous years I don’t think.

11. Yūsaku Kiyama (木山裕策) (debut) Home

Father of four, was an ordinary office worker until the age of 40, also got cancer four  years ago? Yikes! An inspirational story, though it seems they’re just using it for the shock/emotional factor. He has a nice voice though. And apparently he still works at his old publishing company even now? That’s cool. Ooh, his family is in the audience. All boys. So cute!

About the song and the performance itself… Nice soothing voice. Nice song, nothing too special. It’s good that they didn’t add any distracting backup dancers to a simple performance.

12. Junko Akimoto (debut) Ai no Mama de…( 秋元順子 初 愛のままで…)

The oldest person make a debut at Kohaku, Junko Akimoto at 61. Lovely letter from her daughter. I really like this song and she looks like a spunky old lady. Love her outfit and the chanson feel of this song. I think the viewers agreed because IIRC she was invited back the following year. I used have the mp3 so I listened to it quite often. And if you don’t want me to release an mp3 of myself singing this song in the shower, send me $1000 in unmarked dollar bills… >:D

13. Kimaguren (キマグレン)(debut) Life

Being a backup dancer is hard work… Lively song and the barefoot thing is… different. Without the subtitles I wouldn’t have a clue what he was trying to sing in English. Not really my kind of song, I guess, a little too busy for me. I hear it was used for a sports commercial and it certainly gives off that kind of vibe.

I notice they wrote the song together. I read a thread recently about how that’s the best way to make money as a singer in Japan. JASRAC is pretty diligent about collecting royalties, so you can live for decades off karaoke earnings if you’re credited as the songwriter or lyricist. And this continues even after the band has broken up (according to their official website Kimaguren held its final concert in July 2015). The more you know.

14. Ikimonogakari (いきものがかり) (debut) Sakura

Lots of debut performances this year. That’s great. IIRC Ikimonogakari broke up very recently. Or rather they’re on “indefinite hiatus”, i.e. “we’ll be back if we ever need money.” Staff member spot! Let’s see if their music is any good. I know them from Big Windup! at least. Hmm, not a bad song. Singer can hit the high notes very accurately. Very easy on the ears. I wouldn’t necessarily listen to it outside Kohaku, but no problems otherwise.

15. Kiyoshi Maekawa and Cool Five (18) Tokyo Sabaku (前川清(&クール・ファイブ)東京砂漠)

Announcer Ono in the air gets a chance to speak. Ah so. Yay, Maekawa Kiyoshi singing the first song I ever heard from him. 2009 was his 40th year in showbiz, wow! 40 years and your hair is still that black? Haha, you’re not fooling me! And remember when they said they were reforming Cool Five for one night only? Good song. Anata ga ireba, aa anata ga ireba…

16. Miyuki Kawanaka (21) Nirinsō (川中美幸 二輪草)

Mihara Tsunaki and the New Breed in another studio. Never heard of them. They’re playing the backing music for some of the songs, like this one. That’s a different hairdo to go with the kimono. I rather like it. The song is a nice one too, though it’s Kawanaka Miyuki’s signature song so I’ve heard it often. Brilliant smile as ever.

Special: Miyazawa Kazufumi in Ganga Zumba & The Boom “Shimauta ~ Celebrating 100 years of Brazilian emigration” 特別企画:宮沢和史 in ガンガ・ズンバ & THE BOOM「島唄〜ブラジル移民100周年記念バージョン」

According to Wikipedia, Kazufumi Miyazawa is the founder of the Japanese bands The Boom and Ganga Zumba. The latter band uses Brazilian, Caribbean and Latin American elements in their music, which is why he was chosen to headline this special segment commemorating the 100th year since 800 Japanese people emigrated to Brazil, ultimately leading to a population of approximately 150,000 Japanese-Brazilians today… If I got my math correctly. Must be wrong but whatever. Live link to Brazil to see a mochi-making festival and meet some emigres.

Ashiato no nai Michi sung accompanied by old photos of the ancient emigres. Then he launches into his signature song, Shimauta. Which I like, so it’s cool. Aren’t these livefeed people clapping out of tune?

17. Ayako Fuji (16) Akai Ito (藤あや子 紅い糸)

Ooh, it’s the always beautiful Fuji Ayako, singing my second-favorite Fuji Ayako song! Why do I have to go through a pointless performance by “chief cheerleader” Terry Ito to get to it? An omelette from a fan? Oh, the price we pay for stardom. Nakama Yukie’s laugh is just too fake.

The Saotome guy who performed with Sakamoto Fuyumi last year is here again, joined by some Hashi guy. Let’s ignore them and enjoy this lovely song and take in the beautiful Fuji Ayako. Even better, this doesn’t sound like the typical enka song at all. Gorgeous kimono, love the red strings in her hair. And the nail decs, so cool. I want a Fuji Ayako calendar…

18. WaT (4) 36℃

Uh, I don’t know this Sekai no Nabeatsu guy introducing them. Should I? Haven’t seen him before, haven’t seen him since. I don’t get what’s funny about his act either. And I don’t care much for WaT either. How did they ever get to perform/lip-synch at Kohaku so often when they weren’t even that popular? I sense a powerful agency pulling some strings. Staff member spotted running up the stage!

19. Mitsuko Nakamura (13) Kawachi Otoko bushi (中村美律子 河内おとこ節)

People stuffing their faces backstage while promoting the sponsor-provided food, it seems? These views backstage are always interesting. Unnecessary, but interesting. Tokio and Jero and Nabeatsu here to cheer Mitsuko Nakamura on. Because you have to do that kind of stuff if you want to be on Kohaku. More backup dancers forcing themselves to look jolly and excited. How many times had they practiced this? It’s a hard knock life indeed. As for the song… Meh. Lovely kimono and lively performance, but that’s about it. Next please.

20. Porno Graffitti (7) Gift (ポルノグラフィティ ギフト)

The Perfume girls are from Hiroshima prefecture, same as the Porno Graffiti guys. So they’re asked to come and say… pretty much nothing of note. Basically just buying time for the stage to clear and PG to set up. I don’t remember this song, but just from the bass line alone I like it already. Though again I mean-spiritedly wonder if PG is popular enough to justify their regular spot on the Kohaku roster… Waha! Creeping staff member spot! He just ducked behind one of the amps! Hmm, the song is okay, not quite as good as I was hoping for, but okay.

21. Ai Otsuka (5) Ai (大塚愛 愛)

Canned response from guest judge Satoshi Tsumabuki about the NHK drama he’s in the next year. Hai. I don’t like Otsuka’s outfit. Give your granny back her rugs and cushions! As for the song, meh. Actually it’s not too bad. Another singer whose agency shovels her in every year I bet. I’ve seen like three singers in this show with red nails, was that a fashion trend in 2009? This wasn’t a good year for Kohaku and me, no wonder I barely remember any of the songs.

22. Ken Hirai (9) Itsuka Hanareru Hi ga Kitemo (平井堅 いつか離れる日が来ても)

Whoa, it’s so obvious that they made Yoshida use that “sasaerareta” line on purpose. She just rattled her line off like she had memorized it, which she probably had. This is so cheesy. Hirai Ken! Improve my mood, please! Ack, he just came from working in his woodshop! Go comb your hair! I like this song well enough, but it’s not doing anything for me right now. The lyrics are too whiny, I guess. Like the singer should be getting therapy for his abandonment issues instead of standing around singing about them.

23. Fuyumi Sakamoto (20) Kaze ni Tatsu (坂本冬美 風に立つ)

Oya, Sakamoto Fuyumi was a softball catcher when she was a student? She doesn’t look it at all. That’s cool. And she actually caught the ball! Double cool! Nice rainbow kimono and flowery obi too. Now for the song… Taka Takashi again! Oh, I actually like it. It’s very Misora Hibari. Oh man, I can’t believe they made the softball guest judge hold a ball and mitt. Cut her some slack. Anyway, I like the song and I haven’t seen an errant staff member in a while. Things are looking up.

Next is some kind of message about peace. Basically a roundabout way of promoting some movie Nakama, Nakai were in and Joe Hisaishi wrote the music for. I like the cool piano music in the background, but these canned responses and fake teariness are boring. Even the audience didn’t want to clap. Wakaru~

24. Masafumi Akikawa (3) Sen no Kaze ni Natte (秋川雅史 千の風になって)

Third year in a row? Which means you didn’t release anything better in the interval. Welp, as long as you can live off this one for now. I’ve already given my thoughts on this song last year and the year before so we’ll let this one pass without comment.

Special: Enya Orinoco Flow 特別企画:エンヤ『オリノコ・フロウ〜ありふれた奇跡』

Interim voting. Pointless. Some environmental message, yeah yeah. Is Norika Fujiwara really tall or is this announcer really short? Enya… I don’t know anything about her. Waha! English is being spoken by some human beings! Don’t worry, my spoken Japanese is even worse than their English so I can’t criticize them.

Well, let’s just suffer through this music. Oh, I’ve heard this song before. Is this really live? She’s lip synching, isn’t she? I don’t care either way. Soothing music, though probably not what people should be listening to late at night on New Year’s Eve – what if they fall asleep?!

Results of the interim vote: White is about 12,000 votes ahead. Sounds about right, though IMO neither side has impressed me yet. News break.

25. Perfume (debut) Polyrhythm (ポリリズム)

Why are they bothering to pretend to sing? Just do your little dance. Whatever. They must have practiced this like 2000 times. In heels! I told you, being in the entertainment industry is hard work! I don’t mind this song, but again it’s not something I would listen to outside Kohaku. I used to have legs like those too, once upon a time.

26. Jero (debut) Umiyuki (ジェロ 海雪)

Ah, a song I like. At long last! And they trotted out his half-Japanese mother to cheer him on, how sweet.  I really like this song. Akimoto Jun of AKB48 fame/infamy wrote the lyrics. That guy must be seriously rolling in every expensive substance imaginable. Time to sing along. Maru deeeeee Umiiiiyuuuuki! Very good! Clap clap clap!

I hear Jero is still active in Japan, but the novelty of a foreigner singing enka has long since worn off so you don’t hear of him much. He’s doing well, but that hip-hop outfit is just… uck.

27. SPEED (4) White Love (ReTrack)

Speed, huh. I didn’t know them in their heydays and I don’t remember this performance making much of an impression on me, but let’s give them a chance. Lipsynch away, I don’t mind. Apart from that, both the dancing and the singing and the song are all boring. They need a less pixellated background screen next year.

28. Tokio (15) Amagasa (雨傘)

My favorite farming idols! They’re even dressed like farmers. Haha, the usual photo makes a appearance. This photo never gets old. Shiina Ringo wrote this song for them. I’ve heard her name but don’t know her music. Let’s give it a listen. Oh yeah, I remember hearing this one. It sounds like an anime theme song or something. Is it true that Kokubun doesn’t really play the piano? 😀 He does look like he’s randomly banging away at the keyboard. Anyway, another okay song I wouldn’t listen to outside of Kohaku. Shave that pit, Yamaguchi.

29. Thelma Aoyama (debut) Soba ni Iru ne (青山テルマ feat.SoulJa そばにいるね)

Tendo Yoshimi, so cute. I haven’t been able to listen to this Soba ni Iru ne song the same way every since I heard Jinnai Tomonori’s spoof version: Midoriyama Teruko’s Sobaya ni Iru ne. That skit made me laugh too hard. I didn’t like this song before that, but now I do. And I like Aoyama Thelma’s fashion too! Okay, I enjoyed this performance and it’s all thanks to Jinnai.

30. Yutaka Mizutani (debut) California Connection (水谷豊 カリフォルニア・コネクション)

Ooh, one of my favorites songs. He Yutaka Mizutani hadn’t sung in 22 years because his drama and film career have been going too well. Too bad, I just loooove California Connection, it’s such a smooth song. I listen to it all the time. He looks crazy nervous. Hahahaha, funny message to his wife, “I’ll be home after 12.” Hahahaha ^________^ And clever stalling for time with Motoki while setup continues. I saw a blurred out staff member behind Mizutani, yes I did.

Oho, the instruments are a little different from the one I know. This is cooler and jazzier. I like it~ Yay, this is awesome! I’m singing along with the lyrics. I should do this more often, it’s good for my Japanese reading and pronunciation.

31. Ayaka (3) Okaeri (絢香 おかえり)

Haha, the guy behind the radio team with the red circle is really acting it up! Ayaka wrote her own lyrics. Clever girl. The song is okay, I guess Kohaku just didn’t have a good crop that year. My sister has a bedsheet like Ayaka’s dress. Actually the song is kind of growing on me. Nothing I would listen to outside Kohaku, still.

32. Hideaki Tokunaga (德永英明) (3) Rainy Blue

Aah! A staff member scurried away like a cockroach! I like Rainy Blue. And Tokunaga’s blue suit to go with it. I heard a cover version from Jacky Cheung not too long ago, but it’s really Tokunaga Hideaki’s breathy voice that sells the song. And he wrote the tune too? Clever fellow, you know where it’s at! Rainy blue mouuuu~ Sing along with Tokunaga-chan!

33. Kumi Koda (倖田來未) (4) Taboo

Another flash-in-the-pan comedy character. Iroka Koijiro. Uh… yeah. I loled when Nakai swooned, so he got me I guess. Cute kimono but it’s obviously coming off in no time at all. Yup, I knew it. I like her ballads but her poppier songs do nothing for me. This was actually a waste of my time.

34. Hiroshi Itsuki (38) Itezuru (五木ひろし 凍て鶴)

Yay, Itezuru. I hear Itsuki Hiroshi always tries to sing something new every year at Kohaku but he repeated Chigiri last year to honor the late Aku Yuu and is repeating Itezuru to honor Miki Takashi, who was suffering from cancer and later died. I won’t mention the conspicuous black dye in Itsuki’s hair if you won’t. I like this song.

35. Angela Aki (3) Tegami ~Haikei Jūgo no Kimi e~ (アンジェラ・アキ 手紙 〜拝啓、十五の君へ〜)

I like Nakama Yukie’s new dress. They’re making like a K-drama and advertising lots of sponsors’ clothes, aren’t they? Meh, I don’t like sappy lyrics. The song is okay. What is this, the 20th song I’ve deemed just “okay”? It’s the truth I’m afraid. This Kohaku didn’t impress me at all.

36. Naotarō Moriyama (3) Ikiteru Koto ga Tsurai nara (森山直太朗 生きてることが辛いなら)

Moriyama got some flack that year for possibly promoting suicide through this song (the title of which means “If it hurts to keep living”). The first line is “If it hurts to keep living, you should just shrivel up and die.” But his point is to face life head on… or so the announcer claims. Let’s read the lyrics and see for ourselves.

Next line “Your parents and friends will be sad for three days then they’ll get over it.” Hmm… The first verse is pretty bleak. The following verses are slightly more hopeful but… nah, it’s not a very happy song. More like just hang in there till you can’t take it any more, after all your life doesn’t mean much anyway in the grand scheme of things. That’s not the kind of song I want anyone feeling down to listen to. Yup, he deserves all the flack he was getting.

37. aiko (7) KissHug

Stop worrying these judges with your pointless banter. Well, will this be the song that finally makes me like aiko? She wrote the lyrics and the song, so this represents her fully. Haa… I don’t like her voice, her singing style, the song is just blah… I’m sorry aiko. I really want to like you, really I do. *applauds politely*

38. Shuchishin with Pabo (debut) Shuchishin Kōhaku Special (羞恥心 with Pabo 羞恥心〜陽は、また昇る紅白スペシャル)

Shuuchishin! Shuuchishin! I kind of like this song, mostly because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Lipsynching is fine too. I wouldn’t buy their CD or anything and as for Pabo I don’t need to see them. Two, no three staff members spotted. They’re not even looking at the stage, lol. Colorful stage but that’s all I can say about that. More staff members and the whole “Hexagon family” whoever they are. Riiight… AHAHAHAHA! Ungirls! Nooooo >_< Okay they got me, I laughed. Someone’s stripping… WHYYYY. Ookayyy.

39. Kobukuro (4) Toki no Ashioto (コブクロ 時の足音)

Another act I feel I should like but can’t really get into. If the feeling is not there, it’s not there. But we will politely listen to their performance like good people. As an aside, hearing the MCs stumbling over their words makes me feel better about my own bad Japanese pronunciation. Because I’m a bad person. Why does the short Kobukuro always look like he wants to cry? Finished listening to the performance and I can’t remember this song for the life of me. Did it even have a tune? Ah so.

40. Ayaka Hirahara (5) Nocturne (平原綾香 ノクターン)

Tribute to Ogata Ken. I saw him in something quite recently, can’t remember what. Just realized I don’t really like Kimutaku’s speaking voice. Anyway, Nocturne was the song for the last drama Ogata Ken starred in before he died. What a convoluted relation. Whatevs. I know this Chopin song. … Sometimes I have to depend on the Japanese lyrics to figure out what she’s singing in English… Man, this is so boring. I won’t even clap.

41. EXILE (4) Ti Amo

Uwaaaa…. a live show from Sapporo dome. What a huge crowd! Can those near the back even see anything? Yup, this is the kind of look and dancing I expect from Exile. Wings flapping and spinning around like birds. I don’t really care for them much. Another polite listen. Actually I hear almost no singer sings live these days. These guys definitely aren’t singing. Sunglasses guy isn’t even pretending. Whatevs again.

42. Sachiko Kobayashi (30) Roran (小林幸子 楼蘭)

Last boss coming up. What’s the point of calling all of Tohoshinki out if only one person is going to make a brief comment? I like this song… where did I hear it from before? This show? No, I knew it before. Anyway, I really like it. And her outfit, what’s hiding underneath? Dokidoki… There’s nothing underneath. Disappointment galore. From desert to undersea. I like the song, though. Eh, there’s more to the outfit?! A spider?! Octopus? Palm tree? EEHHH? Wow, okay. Well, that was fun.

43. Saburō Kitajima (45) Kita no Ryōba (北島三郎 北の漁場)

The Shinjuku Koma theater was closed down that year so Kimimaro Ayanokouji is there to see the aftermarth of the final performance. Apparently Kohaku was held there in the past. They have a statue of Kitajima Saburo because he performed there around 1,800 times. Wow. Mr. Ayanokouji, please don’t read so obviously off the teleprompter.

Sabu-chan! Haven’t heard this piece in a while. Going fishing with SMAP? They’re standing there like they don’t know what to do with themselves. That’s Kohaku for you. Haha, this is too funny. Umi noooo otoko nya yooo, I like this song. This is so silly. But kinda fun compared to the other performances I guess. Umi nooooo otoko nya yooooo~

44. Yo Hitoto (5) Hajimete (一青窈 はじめて)

Some kind of environmental message. Staff member spot! Why didn’t you wait till the lights went out first. Something about saving power by lighting the hall with candles. Just a gimmick. At least we learned that Hitoto Yo has other songs and not just the one she’s been forced to sing every single time. Let’s see how this one goes. Not bad but kind of boring. I could apply that label to just about everything that’s been sung this night.

45. Mika Nakashima (中島美嘉) (7) Orion

Red nails again. Must be a 2008 thing. Another song that does nothing for me. Mika stooping and looking drunk again. Must be a Mika thing. The pixels are awful on that “starry” background. Staff member spotted in the dark.

46. Mr. Children (debut) – GIFT

They got the longest allotted time of the night, 7 minutes to perform. Apparently NHK bent over backwards to get them to perform. I don’t really know much about MisChil, I’ve heard a few songs here and there but nothing that really grabbed my attention. And there was something about a scandal involving the lead singer Sakurai? Not sure, can’t remember clearly. Wait, it’s bad to spread rumors without evidence. Let me Google first. Ah so, he cheated on his wife and left her for the other woman. -_- Tomoyasu Hotei and Glay’s Teru have company.

How’s the music? *shrug* It’s okay. Very noisy at the end with all those people standing around yelling Lalalala. Blah.

47. Sayuri Ishikawa (31) Amagigoe – Ichiro Version (石川さゆり 天城越え(イチローバージョン))

Another dress change for Nakama Yukie. The sponsors are getting their money’s worth. Ichiro liked Ishikawa Sayuri’s rendition of Amagigoe two years ago at Kohaku (Yukie says last year but it wasn’t) so much that he used it for his walk up music that previous year. Hence the “Ichiro version” in the title. Hmm, I quite like the hard rock intro with Marty Friedman. Oya? He disappeared halfway through the act. What’s the point of bringing in a guitarist of Friedman’s caliber and only using him for 30 seconds? Kohaku…!

Stellar performance as always from Ishikawa Sayuri, but the rendition from two years ago just can’t be topped. It was too perfect.

48. SMAP (16) Kono toki, kitto yume ja nai (Kōhaku Special) (この瞬間、きっと夢じゃない紅白SP)

Oya? Did Inagaki make a misstep early on? Doesn’t matter, me no care. His movements are definitely a bit off, though. Turn, step, twirl, sway back, turn… I’ve said it before but it must be really hard being in a boy band when you’re old enough to have grand kids in a boy band. I can feel the hours of practice oozing through. I just realized I don’t really like their music, but I enjoy watching SMAP on the stage. I’m gonna miss them just a tiny little bit.

49. Yoshimi Tendo (13) Tonbori Ninjō (天童よしみ 道頓堀人情)

The always cute Yoshimi Tendo singing her debut song to honor her late father. Another… interesting outfit. And the song is… Just another enka song. I like the lyrics, at least.

50. Shinichi Mori (41) Ofukurosan (森進一 おふくろさん)

Aiyaa, Ofukurosan again. And he has so many other good songs instead, like Kita no Hotaru and Erimo Misaki. I didn’t need the introduction. There’s no way to spice this old horse meat, so just serve it up already. Sora wo miageryaaaa~

51. Akiko Wada (32) Yume (和田アキ子 夢)

All the enka singers changed outfits just for this end scene. I like Sakamoto Fuyumi’s canary yellow kimono the best. It’s flashy like an entertainer’s outfit should be. Actually it looks like all the other singers changed clothes too. Uh, okay.

This was Akko’s 40th year in showbiz. Isn’t this the same dress she wore to perform Mother three or four years ago? The singer-songwriter Tatsuya Ishii – isn’t that the lead singer of Kome Kome Club? Must be a coincidence. Ufufu, more staff members lurking behind the stage area. They really needed a curtain for that side. The song itself is just okay, no big deal. What is it called, a power ballad? She certainly has a lot of power.

52. Kiyoshi Hikawa (9) Kiyoshi no Zundoko Bushi (氷川きよし きよしのズンドコ節)

Fun, fun, fun, fundoshi! Zureta! Last song of the night. I like this song. Sparkly sparkly. Hikawa looks like he’s struggling to control the tears. The fangirls must be lapping this up.

Results

White team wins. Both sides were very lackluster this year, but Kiyoshi’s ending performance was far more flashy than Wada’s. They were obviously aiming to give the victory to white. Welp, so much for that. See you next time for a rundown of the 60th Kohaku Utagassen!

58th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2007 edition)

It’s been a year and a half since I did my rundown of the 57th edition. I really didn’t mean to let such a long gap elapse between posts, but that just shows how far my interest in Kohaku has dropped. The show has been losing ratings in Japan for a while, and there’s good reason for it – it’s gotten boring. It’s trying too hard to stay relevant and “entertain” with silly skits and interludes instead of letting good music (when they bother to have good musicians and not merely popular ones on) speak for itself. I still haven’t watched any of the recent ones or even downloaded the 2015 version, but maybe I’ll get round to it when I have time.

The 58th Kohaku Utagassen (2007) aired back when I still liked the show and was still quite crazy about Japanese music. I even did a quick post on it back in 2009, which you can use as a handy tl;dr because this is going to be quite a long post as usual. Expect a lot of gushing over beautiful kimonos and grumbling about dumb skits and very little else in between. Let us commence!

Introductory skit with Tsurube being his vulgar self and Nakai already showing signs of exasperation with him. Shortly before this show aired, Tsurube was in the news for an incident involving indecent exposure, so if you hear Nakai making any “porori” comments (like the sign on his fan), that’s what it’s all about.

Everyone’s lined up on the stage for the start of the show, the usual stuff. Introduction of the hosts and guests and stuff. Looks like Tsurube made a mistake in the introduction, though he could have done it on purpose. Annoying scene. Let’s start already.

1. Hello! Project 10th Kōhaku Anniversary Special Group – Morning Musume (10) Berryz Kobo (debut) Cute (°C-ute) (debut) – “Special LOVE Mix ~Shiawase no Heisei 20 Shunen Ver.~”

ハロー!プロジェクト10周年記念紅白スペシャル隊 – モーニング娘。(10)Berryz工房(初)℃-ute(初)-  Special LOVE Mix 〜幸せの平成20周年 Ver.〜

The last year Momusu appeared on Kohaku, if I’m not mistaken. Certainly the last year they were relevant in any meaningful way. I like Love Machine, so that’s good enough. So many girls on the stage I don’t even know which one to focus on. Are they lip-synching? Wait, of course they are. Haha, great scene of the judges looking bored. I sympathize, honest.

Berryz Koubou and Cute are definitely lipsynching. Hurry up and end already.

2. Kenichi Mikawa (24) “Sasoriza no Onna 2007”
美川憲一(24) さそり座の女 2007

Aghhhh, another rendition of Sasoriza no Onna from Mikawa Kenichi. A technopop version kind of thing? What a waste of a great voice. He of all people didn’t need to resort to playing dress-up to be relevant. Apparently the catch phrase of the year was “dondake” so he has some gay/transgender buddies show up to do some sort of dance or something. Mercifully short segment. Dondake!!!

3. Ichirō Toba (20) “Kyoudai Bune”

鳥羽一郎(20) 兄弟船

Last year’s Kyoudai Bune went down well, I suppose, so he’s repeating it again. I’m really happy. At least something I can sink my teeth into. I like this song. Akiko Wada is singing along, the rest are just clapping along politely. Ugh, my DVD is scratched ;____;  I like to burn episodes to DVD so I can watch and type at the same time. *sigh* Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.

4. Miyuki Kawanaka (20) “Kanazawa no Ame”
川中美幸(20) 金沢の雨

A song about a married couple, which is why Nakai dedicates it to Jinnai & Noriko Fujiwara (before their subsequent messy divorce). More polite clapping except Akiko Wada again. I love her hair decorations. The kimono design is interesting, though for some reason the weave makes it look like a bathrobe ^.^;; I don’t think I’m going to get my usual kimono fix this year. Sweet but typical enka song.

Introduction of the guest judges. Ho hum. Jinnai and Fujiwara are there not for any achievement they made that year but because they got married and everyone made a fuss about it. Famous for being famous. Though I later discovered that Jinnai is actually a pretty funny comedian.

5. w-inds. (6) “Beautiful Life”

Aww w-inds, my Kohaku won’t be same now that you guys have disbanded. This is fun to watch, actually. The little kids are cute. And the song isn’t too terrible. In fact I rather like it. This the nil se bonum principle applied to a boyband, isn’t it?

6. Mitsuko Nakamura (12) “Danjiri”
中村美律子(12) だんじり

My first time seeing Mitsuko Nakamura perform, at the time. Very taut neck skin, alias facelift. It looks pretty uncomfortable, tbh. Interesting hairdo and outfit. It’s a bit hard to know what to focus on with all the gymnastics going on in the background. Nothing special about the song.

7. Takeshi Kitayama (3) “Oga Hantou” 北山たけし(3) 男鹿半島

More gymnastics. Nice sparkly tie, I want. Another song that doesn’t make much use of his quality voice. Hmm, just an okay song. Rawr, you have to be man, rawr, but watch these people teeter unsteadily on each others’ shoulders first. The gymnastic people are known as “Muscle Musical” or something like that. Brief, pointless performance.

8. Yōko Nagayama (14) “Jonkara Onna Bushi”
長山洋子(14) じょんから女節

I like this song and the vivid purple accents on her outfit. Go on Yoko, show that shamisen who’s boss! The backup players look a bit stagestruck. Powerful, passionate belting out of the tune, that’s what is needed to lift these standard enka songs above the ordinary. Full points to Yoko Nagayama, especially for that flourish at the end.

9. Exile (3) “Lovers Again ~Kōhaku Version~”

I’ve never seen the point of Exile, sorry. I guess they’re better singers and dancers than SMAP (even the frogs in my pond are better singers than Nakai). Apart from that. …Umm… They look kind of old to be prancing around like ballerinas like that. Umm… yeah.

10. Mihimaru GT (2) “Gazen Yeah!” (俄然Yeah!)

Mihimaru GT again! Don’t forget to “crap” your hands!! It’s a catchy song actually. Not as catchy as the dancers are trying to make it out to be, but a job is a job. Who’s that on the side with the flag… oh, she gave it to the singer. Ah so.

11. WaT (3) “WaT Kōhaku Selection”

Everyone keeps hurrying Tsurube along when he starts to talk. Even Wentz wants him to shut up so he can go stand by. Medley of WaT songs for those who like that sort of thing. Nothing in this for me.

Stupid, stupid skit backstage, but it’s interesting to see what things are like back there. Would have been better without Tsurube – I can only imagine the bashing he must have received from viewers that year.

12. Angela Aki (2) “Sakura Iro”
アンジェラ・アキ(2) サクラ色

Angela Aki has a few songs I like, like “Home” but this one is very forgettable. I have watched this Kohaku a few times, but I can’t remember this song for the life of me. Sit down and play your piano, girl. Then again I’m the one who advocated passionate performances and this is certainly one. Just wish I liked the song better.

13. Akira Fuse (23) “Kimi wa Bara yori Utsukushii”
布施明(23) 君は薔薇より美しい

Akira Fuse can really do a number on this song (in a good way) given the chance, but I’m guessing he’s performed it so many times on Japanese TV that they felt the need to spice it up with a jazzier instrumental and some “sexy” rather similar-looking ex-Takarazuka actresses. Both additions ruin the song, IMO. Also his boring black suit clashes with the fancy red evening gowns the ladies are wearing. Wear something more Vegas if you want to go that route. These are hardly love song lyrics, either. “You were really boring before but now you’re sexy so I want you.” Get lost, creep!

14. Kaori Kōzai (15) “Mugon Zaka”
香西かおり(15) 無言坂

Hold on, I have to mentally psych myself for the screechy “zakaaaa” at the end. Phew, okay, ready. The kimono and hair decs are both disappointing. And the girls in the background aren’t adding a single thing. Oh, the “zakaaaa” wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting. She must have taken singing lessons after last year.

Some interim voting for One-Seg etc.

15. Kiyoshi Maekawa & Cool Five (17) “Soshite, Kobe”
前川清(&クール・ファイブ)(17) そして、神戸

Moody Katsuyama must be one of those flash-in-the-pan celebrities who come and go in every showbiz in the world. I love this song though, so it’s cool. Nakai making fun of Tsurube for the 10th time isn’t though. Ooh, love this song. Koobeeee~ Not even Maekawa bursting into laughter at the end could spoil the performance. The subtle sparkles in his suit make everything better.

16. Kaori Mizumori (5) “Hitori Satsumaji”
水森かおり(5) ひとり薩摩路

Another long dress to hide the platform shoes. Very fancy stage with the dancers and wispy things. I like it. Typical heartbreak enka song though. Ooh, more wispy things in different colors. Nice and colorful!

Oshirikajirimushi Special Stage

Sekine and daughter + Taka and Toshi introduce the skit. Oshirikajirmushiiii. So cute! Kajitte kajiite kajitte nanbo! The kids are even cuter. Awwwwwwww~ Even Tsurube got in on the act. He seems to be having fun.

Results of the early voting. White team is ahead. Won’t these things influence the final score? Not sure it’s the best idea. Then some random conversation introducing the next performances.

17. AKB48 (debut), Leah Dizon (debut), Shoko Nakagawa (debut) “Nihon ga Hokoru Saisentan! Special Medley”
AKB48(初)リア・ディゾン(初)中川翔子(初) 日本が誇る最先端! スペシャルメドレー[12] (会いたかった(AKB48)、恋しよう♪(リア・ディゾン)、空色デイズ(中川翔子)、なんてったってアイドル)

New and hot on the scene, AKB48 make their first appearance. Little did anyone know what horrors had just been unleashed on the world, brr! Haha, actually I don’t care anything about them. Aitakatta, aaa itakatta, no! They’re just there to prance and look pretty while the song plays in the background.

Leah Dizon has yet to make a proper comeback. She’s not lip syncing, at least, I can tell because she sounds horrible. It’s hard for those body-promoting “singers” to last long because there’s always someone younger or cuter or willing to show more flesh. That probably why Shokotan decided to go after the loyal otakus instead. Okay enough already, next segment please. Haha, funny shot of Yui Aragaki looking totally baffled during the performance of Nante tatte Idol. Then again she always looks baffled.

18. Kome Kome Club (5) “AiKimi Roman”
米米CLUB(5) 愛君浪漫

Yay, Kome Kome Club! YEAAAH! Welcome back! I always like the ultra-exaggerated, clear way Ishii enunciates his words. It’s very good for learning Japanese if you’re working on that now. I love their music too. I like this new Aa Roman Hikou song too. Highly enjoyable stuff, almost makes up for the “idols” that came before.

More conversation between Ishii and Tsurube then interrupted by Nakai. No fun.

19. Ayaka (2) “Peace Loving People ~Special Piano Version~”
Rather pedestrian song. Then she’s joined by Kobukuro for a rendition of “Winding Road.” Dunno, don’t care. I should find something more to say… But I got nothing so let’s keep going. Okay, nice Steinway piano, I want one.

20. Porno Graffiti (6) “Link”

Tsurube has a bit of trouble pronouncing their name, but they don’t have any problem singing. This song didn’t make it into my top 5 of Porno Graffiti songs, but it’s not bad. Just seems a little generic. It sounds like something anyone could sing, if that makes sense. It’s a nice song though. The NHK Hall and the audience is surprisingly small for such a prestigious show.

Mogi Kenichiro released a game about brains or something and mutters about music massaging the brain or something. Some songs massage my brain but others molest it. Let’s see if I feel any smarter after this.

21. Sukima Switch (3) “Kanade”
スキマスイッチ(3) 奏(かなで)

Hmm, not really. Pretty standard song about parting and saying goodbye and stuff. Rather lukewarm reception from the audience as well, maybe because the song seems to come to an abrupt end.

22. Natsuko Godai (14) “Fune”
伍代夏子(14) 舟

At first glance her kimono seemed rather plain, but once she gets up on the stage you realize it helps he stand out from the girls in the background, so that’s good. Shokotan trying to steal some attention from behind is kinda cringeworthy, though. Tsurube even has a go at her. Forgettable song and performance.

23. Masato Sugimoto (debut) “Waremokō”
すぎもとまさと(初) 吾亦紅

One of the hit songs of the year, in the vein of an apology to a late mother from her faithless, neglectful son. Masato Sugimoto had been a singer for decades before Waremoko finally put him on the map. Nice, moving song, though it didn’t turn out to be the massive seller Tsurube predicted in his pre-performance spiel. Maybe a little too sappy even for sentimental Japanese listeners.

24. Amin (2) “Matsuwa’07”
あみん(2) 待つわ’07

15 years after they broke up they reunited for this performance. The lady on the left looks like an ex-coworker of mine so I like Amin a lot (lol). This song makes me break out in goosebumps, honestly. Even though I hate the “I’ll wait for you lyrics,” the harmony is just so perfect and simple, I love it. That “Matsu wa” with the echo is just too perfect.

25. Akira Terao (2) “Ruby no Yubiwa”
寺尾聰(2) ルビーの指環

Hasn’t been on Kohaku for 26 years. Ruby no Yubiwa was the No. 1 song for 12 weeks when it was first released. I myself have heard it several times, though not this funkified version which I quite like. This is the first time I’ve bothered to read the lyrics. Apparently his backing instrumentalists are all famous pro studio/session musicians, not that an amateur like me would know them. They all seem to be having a blast up there. My kind of show! *clap clap clap*

26. Ayaka Hirahara (平原綾香) (4) “Jupiter”

The song was a support song for a village/town that was destroyed a few years ago but has now recovered. I prefer the version of this same “Jupiter” tune by Gustav Holst that is set to I Vow to Thee My Country by Sir Cecil Spring Rice. Try to find a version sung by a mass choir at a funeral, I guarantee chills will run down your spine. As for Ayaka Hirahara’s version, it’s decent. Her performances usually come across as a bit lifeless  but she’s putting her all in this one, and that counts for something.

27. BoA (6) “BoA Winter Ballad Special”

They’re really rushing their introductions now, it makes me uncomfortable. I tend to like these simpler songs and performances so it’s nice that BoA was given a chance to shine. The song doesn’t do anything for me, though, and I think she’s screeching a bit on some of the notes.

28. Toshihide Baba (debut) “Start Line~Atarashii Kaze”
馬場俊英(初) スタートライン〜新しい風

Naito Daisuke invited to give some comments about perserverance because Baba started his singing career after being fired from his day job at 40. Naito says he tried twice to get the championship and succeeded the third time. Nice song. The teeth are his ‘charm point’ as they say in Japan, and I like his voice. He has a lineup of star backing instrumentalists from Kobukuro and kiroro and someone else, I think?

29. Masashi Sada (さだまさし)(19) “Birthday”

The theme song for a show by Tsurube and he talks on and on about his show and how 13 years ago he and Sada worked together to start the show until the producer comes and shoos Sada onto the stage. Nakai looks on pins and needles until Sada finally starts singing. It’s not that different from the “Kakashi” song he sang two years ago. Some scenes from their road trip or something. Hmm, not really necessary, the song is good enough on its own.

30. Fuyumi Sakamoto (19) “Yozakura Oshichi ~Ōmisoka Special~”
坂本冬美(19) 夜桜お七 〜大晦日スペシャル〜

Nakai forces the conversation to move on before Tsurube can start warbling and introduces Fuyumi along with a popular Noh actor of some sort. Saotome something. Yozakura Oshichi is my favorite Fuyumi Sakamoto song. She looks good in the delicately colored yukata, despite my preference for more dramatic outfits. An enjoyable performance despite the pointlessness of the crossdresser dancing in the background. Whoa, where did all the other background dancers come from? That’s cool. The sudden appearance, I mean, not those creepy hooded outfits. Nice flourish at the end. Sakamoto is no slouch herself.

More mid-way voting going on, something which doesn’t mean much in the long-term as far s I know.

Izumi Sakai Tsuitō Kikaku, Zard Film Concert Live stream, “Yureru Omoi” “Glorious Mind” “Makenaide”
坂井泉水追悼企画 ZARDフィルムコンサート中継「揺れる想い」「グロリアス マインド」「負けないで」

This was the year Izumi Sakai died after a bad fall suffered while undergoing cancer treatment. I was reasonably familiar with her music. She never performed at Kohaku so this is her way to show up, featuring never before released footage. Glorious Mind is the last song she wrote before she died, though she had about 300 other unreleased songs. Her producers are going to be rich! Someone reads a letter from her? …? Someone pretending to be her. It’s hard to die and have people write whatever they want to about you. Not that you care anyway since you’re kinda dead.

Okay, results of halfway voting appears. White team is winning. There’s a news break, but I don’t have that.

31. Sachiko Kobayashi (29) “Koizakura”
小林幸子(29) 恋桜

And now for my favorite Sachiko Kobayashi song. Preceded by young(er) SMAP all teasing Tsurube about wearing clothes this time. Quick shot of Gackt preparing for his stage, then some samurai is sent scurrying off… oh man, now I remember why I stopped watching Kohaku Utagassen.

But yay, Sachiko “Last Boss” Kobayashi singing Koizakura! I love this song. Love her shiny cherry blossom outfit too. I think I’m enjoying myself for the first time since I started this edition. “Anata ni chiritai~!” I wish she would sing the whole song, I like it so much. Whoa, that kaleidoscope behind her is truly blinding. Love it! Last Boss forever!

And then Tsurube and Nakai do something truly dreadful by going forward to try and study the outfit in more detail. That’s just not done, and they really shouldn’t be showing the stage going down and all that. It detracts quite a bit from the magic, which is just not right. I’m sorry, Ms Kobayashi.

32. Gackt (5) “Returner ~Yami no Shūen~Kieyuku Samurai e no Requiem~”
RETURNER 〜闇の終焉〜消え逝く武士(サムライ)への鎮魂歌(レクイエム)〜

Gackt as Uesugi Kenshin. He’s such a drama queen. A bad drama queen, but he seems to be having fun, so good for him. Man… what a drama queen… did I say that already? Whatever, this is fun bad drama. The whole thing is just a  long advert for that year’s NHK drama Furin Kazan. And I love Returner, easily my favorite Gackt song. I hope all these samurai extras got paid plenty of money. The double bass player seems to be having a little too much fun, lol. Lip synch away, Gakuto-kun!

33. Ai Otsuka (大塚愛) (4) “Chu-Lip”

Nakai quickly moving the conversation along before Tsurube can start rambling. Uh-oh, doushiyou, I like this song too! I like the part near the end where they go Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi. The crazy outfits just fit the crazy song and mood. Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi.

34. Tokio (14) “SEISYuN” (青春 SEISYuN)

This song was written by Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi, whose music I love. I remember liking this song, but let’s see if my memory was correct. Haha, they pulled out the Tokio leader’s picture from last year, I love that joke. ^_^ Oh yeah, I do like this song. It’s very Nagabuchi-like. The firey background makes it seem even more Nagabuchi. The only catch is, I really want to see Nagabuchi himself sing it. This guy’s voice is too nice (just like Nagabuchi’s used to be before he deliberately ruined it with cigarettes and alcohol, but that’s a story for another day). Anyway, fun song. Shinjiru no sa, towa to mirai to ashita wooooo! Wao, LOVE the flames in the back!

35. Noriyuki Makihara (槇原敬之) (2) “Green Days”

Aragaki Yui, whatever happened to her? Guess she’s still around somewhere. But she says she’s a fan of Noriyuki Makihara. So am I! And I’m a big fan of this song too. Wish they wouldn’t make it so obvious that they’re reading off the teleprompter. I really, really like this tune and his voice and the serious grey suit and the green background and everything. Looks like looking up at a forest ceiling. Very passionate, engaging performance Massugu ni, massugu ni nobiru~

Wahaha, Tomonori Jinnai and Norika Fujiwara back when they were still married. Lovely golden dress on Norika and nice hair and hair accessories.

36. Ayumi Hamasaki (9) (浜崎あゆみ) “Together When…”

“Together when” you stop divorcing them, Ayumi-chan! Simple dress and performance. Boring song and bad voice are the downsides. Aaaaagh, she can’t hold a tune. That’s one person who should really lipsynch. Honest, I don’t mind, please. She broke the chain of great songs I had going on. Boo, hiss. Let’s see if the next one can help get me back in the mood.

37. Kiyoshi Hikawa (8) “Kiyoshi no Sōran Bushi, YOSAKOI no Sōran Kōhaku Special”
氷川きよし(8) きよしのソーラン節 YOSAKOIソーラン紅白スペシャル

Okajima Hideki gives Kiyoshi some advice about working hard at age 30 and stuff. Pointless, I keep saying. Fun song, he seems to be enjoying himself as well. Dokkoisho! Dokkoisho! Whoa, talk about an energetic performance. I would break my back if I tried to dance like that! They do make Yosakoi look fun, don’t they?

38. aiko (6) “Shiawase” (シアワセ)

Oh, aiko. She seems so nice, but her songs are always so boring. I don’t think I have heard a single one I like. A delay in the setup means Nakai and Tsurube has to fill the gap with random chatter. Being a host isn’t easy. Shiawase is the Aiko song that comes closest to something I would listen to again, since it has a catchy beat. I like her hair too.

Some set up going on in the background that we probably shouldn’t be seeing. Tsurube and aiko reminiscing about Tsurube’s birthday party where aiko sang or something like that. They chat so long that Nakai has to interrupt Tsurube yet again.

39. Kumi Koda (3) “Ai no Uta”
倖田來未(3) 愛のうた

Kumi-chaaan in an unusually modest and understated outfit – by her standards, anyway. And I quite like this song too. What’s going on? The world is coming to an end, surely! But I’m happy I’m finally enjoying this show so it’s all good. Brilliant smile as always. I think there were rumors about Koda and Nakai dating that year, which is why Tsurube slyly comments about how cute she is afterwards.

40. Hideaki Tokunaga (2) “Koi ni Ochite -Fall in Love-“
徳永英明(2) 恋におちて -Fall in love-

Hideaki Tokunaga’s cover of Koi ni Ochite by Kobayashi Akiko, IIRC. I prefer the original especially since she doesn’t have to strain to hit the “te wo tometa” notes. She has longer, sweeter notes too, compared to Tokunaga’s shorter, breathier ones on the last notes of each line. Plus you’re not “just a woman,” Hideaki-kun! Look down! :-p Good song I listen to quite often.

41. Ataru Nakamura (debut) “Tomodachi no Uta”
中村中(初) 友達の詩

A man who had his genitals cut off and his gender “reassigned” in the mistaken thought that this would make him a “woman.” Tsurube reads a letter from his mother in a very dull, bland way. At least find someone who can put some emotion into the letter reading. According to wikipedia, Ataru Nakamura’s singing career was going nowhere until he came out about the sex change, then he got some brief attention and then went back to nothingness again. A shame because, criticism aside, it must be said that Ataru has a beautiful singing voice and this is a great song. The final “sore sura ayaui” line actually made me break out in goosebumps.

42. Ken Hirai (5) “Elegy”
平井堅(5) 哀歌 (エレジー)

Ooh, another song I like. As long as I don’t listen to the dark lyrics, that is. How long until Tsurube gets interrupted…? He really talks too much. He didn’t get interrupted, but he should have. It was funny at the beginning of the show when he said Hirai Ken would sing a song called “I am Japanese” though. He really does look Middle Eastern, maji de. Very enjoyable performance and great song. I normally watch it two or three times but this time I have to move on. Uuu, zannen.

Special performance: Misora Hibari x Ogura Kei “Ai San San” 特別企画 美空ひばり×小椋佳「愛燦燦」

Misora Hibari would have been 70 years old in 2007. Tsurube talks about how when he interviewed other stars they would always gush over Misora, then as usual Nakai cuts him short. Ogura Kei wrote the song Ai San San so he appears together with images of Misora in a sort of pseudo-duet. What a mess alcohol made of her life. Strong drink is a mocker, indeed. I love Ogura Kei’s soothing, steady, nasal delivery too. Beautiful, beautiful show.

The guest has hosted Kohaku before, I believe he said. More comments. Yakushimaru Hiroko is at Tokyo Tower. Very robotic recital of how special Tokyo Tower is to everyone or whatever. At the end of it, the tower will be lit in the colors of whichever side won, IIRC.

43. Saburō Kitajima (44) “Kaero Kana”
北島三郎(44) 帰ろかな

I like this version of Kaero Kana. The choir in the background adds some depth, so to speak. Why does Leah Dizon look so tearful? Does she somehow know she will fade completely from the public eye within three years of this show? Masaka. Sabu-chan! I’m a little surprised to see him this early in the show. Great rendition of a very moving song.

44. Yoshimi Tendō (12) “Chindo Monogatari ~Kizuna~”
天童よしみ(12) 珍島物語 〜絆〜

Hmm, a spiced up version of Chindo Monogatari? What’s with the “Kizuna”? Letter from her mom, She looks like her mother so much, lol. I see, “kizuna” means she lets everyone how powerfully she can sing by singing without backing before the standard instruments kick in. I’m impressed, I didn’t know she could sing like this. But I don’t know about this “exploding butterflies” dress…

45. Kobukuro (3) “Tsubomi”
コブクロ(3) 蕾

Blah blah, Tsurube says he wanted his old mom to see him on Kohaku, that’s why he accepted this job. Aw, Tsubrube, you shouldn’t have. No really, you shouldn’t have. He says he’s having fun, and so am I, when all’s said and done.

Tsubomi is the one Kobukuro song I almost like. Overwrought and melodramatic like all the others, but not bad, and hopeful in its own way. They wrote it in memory of one of their mothers, if I understood Tsurube’s spiel correctly. So I won’t be too hard on them.

46. Mika Nakashima (中島美嘉) (6) “Life”

Tired of of standing already? The hosts are sitting down. Even more talking from Tsurube about why he chose to host the show. He’s really boring. He wants to make people in poor areas happy when they see him on Kohaku. Nakai looks bored out of his balding little skull. Talk about a lack of chemistry.

Mika Nakashima standing straight up for a change. Nope, I was wrong, she’s stooping again. Very simple outift, okay song.  Meh. But I like the jewelry, the way the flashiness contrasts with the plain white shirt and sheer makeup. Me gusta. Ooh, the camera just wobbled! Someone must have bumped into the camera man.

47. Yo Hitoto (4) “Hanamizuki”

一青窈 ハナミズキ

Nakama Yukie! Wasn’t there a rumor of a relationship between Nakai and Nakama? Or something else? Yo Hitoto was in New York during 9/11 and was inspired by the attack to write the lyrics of “Hanamizuki.” Japanese sign language signers interpreting her song in the background. I wonder how it differs from American Sign Language? I’m not really playing attention to the song because that’s the only song Yo Hitoto ever sings so I’ve heard it hundred of times before. Signing the last few lines doesn’t change that, I’m afraid.

48. Masafumi Akikawa (2) “Sen no Kaze ni Natte”
秋川雅史(2) 千の風になって

His breakout hit from last year. I already gave my thoughts on it last time, so you can refer to the previous post for that. It’s even sadder that someone has written a letter in about how much they miss their late husband but are comforted because he’s now turned into wind… I’m sorry for your loss ma’am, but your husband hasn’t turned into anything, least of all wind. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Anyway, we’ll leave it at that this time. Akikawa sounds a little dull and muted this time. Or maybe he’s tired from singing that song 300 times a year. Is that door in the back supposed to signify the door of hope opening or something?

49. Dreams Come True (12) “A-I-SHI-TE-RU no Sign ~Watashitachi no Mirai Yosōzu~” (ア・イ・シ・テ・ルのサイン 〜わたしたちの未来予想図〜)

Miyazaki Aoi, stop staring so blatantly at the teleprompter. Brief introduction to all the concerts Dreams Come True held that year. Whoa, that’s a lot of people! I’m relieved they’re not singing Nandodemo this year… They seem to be having fun, though I don’t particularly like or dislike this song. S’aight.

50. SMAP (15) “Dangan Fighter Kōhaku SP” (弾丸ファイター 紅白SP)

I haven’t been waiting for this. They’re running out of time so again the announcer prods them to get ready for their performance. Well, whatever. Let’s get this over with. What are they wearing, vinyl sheets? No wonder they’re quitting being a boyband, lol. They start out lipsynching “Dear Woman” before moving on to Dangan Fighter… with extra vinyl sheets. And my DVD is skipping again. Oh, it’s fixed. Just when I’d found the perfect excuse to skip this performance ::_:: Boring, boring, song, boring choreography. The plastic makes me want to go on a picnic, that’s about it. Yo gotta power through this performance so you can get to the finale.

Yū Aku Memorial Corner
阿久悠追悼コーナー

Aku Yuu was a famous lyricist who wrote the lyrics of many classics of Japanese pop music in the 70s and 80s. I watched a documentary about him shortly after he passed away, which I thought I mentioned on this blog but I guess I didn’t. They did a good job of making Aku Yuu look good, but also made Yamaguchi Momoe look like a cold witch, to put it politely. Such a good job, in fact, that it took a while for me to warm up to her music.

For our last performances, we have 4 songs written by Aku Yuu, though honestly you could fill the whole show with songs by him, with very good results. Let’s enjoy these last few songs.

51. Akiko Wada (31) “Ano Kane wo Narasu no wa Anata”
和田アキ子(31) あの鐘を鳴らすのはあなた

She’s performed this song many times in many different renditions. I like this particular one, and the stark white dress and simple backing vocals that don’t drown her out – though you would have to wake up really early to drown Akiko Wada out. Those are the girls from Berryz Kobo and C-ute, aren’t they? No wonder they can’t make an impact.

52. Shinichi Mori (40) “Kita no Hotaru”
森進一 (40) 北の螢

Wooot! A song from Mori Shinichi that’s not Ofukurosan. An excellent song that features regularly on my playlist despite the dire but poignant lyrics. Hooo hooo hotaru, tonde yuke, koishii otoko no mune e ike. Pure and classic, no frills attached, none needed.

53. Sayuri Ishikawa (30) “Tsugaru Kaikyō-Fuyu Geshiki”
石川さゆり(30) 津軽海峡・冬景色

Aku Yuu really was the master of the “meikyoku,” and his lyrics were perfectly set to song by songwriter Miki Takashi. And then Ishikawa Sayuri interprets the finished song perfectly as usual. There’s no time for a real introduction, but she needs none. Interesting kimono, though I’m annoyed they rushed the start of the song. How many trees and how much paper was sacrificed to make that fake snow?

54. Hiroshi Itsuki (37) “Chigiri” (Promise)
五木ひろし(37) 契り

One of my favorite Japanese songs of all time. I heard it once many, many years ago and it haunted my dreams for ages until I finally found it again and could listen to it often enough to blunt the edge of the effect… or so I’d hoped, but it’s still as powerful as ever no matter how many times I hear it. Great song. Ai suru hito yo, sukoyaka ni. Makes me want to cry. Snf. Beautiful, beautiful.

55. Sekai ni Hitotsu dake no Hana (世界に一つだけの花) → Hotaru no Hikari (蛍の光)

Tch. The show should have ended with Chigiri. SMAP is such a comedown from that. At least they shouldn’t have let Nakai sing. The white team wins and Tokyo Tower is lit… blue?? to celebrate. That final performance by Hiroshi Itsuki alone should have won them the night. But the red team had some good, powerful performances too. And the DVD is skipping again so… That’s enough then. Good show, everyone!

Your Lie in April (Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso) anime review

I liked Your Lie in April, more or less, though the lie turned out to be very stupid. I’ll be writing my full thoughts including spoilers so here’s the spoiler-free gist before I start: you should watch Your Lie in April if you like classical music, love triangles and long drawn out tragedies and avoid it if you don’t like any of these. Any spoiler you read after this point is your own responsibility.

Plot (according to Amazon) Kosei Arima was a piano prodigy until his cruel taskmaster of a mother died suddenly, changing his life forever. Driven by his pain to abandon piano, Kosei now lives in a monotonous, colorless world. Having resigned himself to a bland life, he is surprised when he meets Kaori Miyazono, a violinist with an unorthodox style. Can she bring Kosei back to music, and back to life?.

So basically it’s a romantic slice-of-life coming-of-age show all in one, about growing up and letting go of the past and embracing ones emotions etc etc. That sort of thing. TBH I was mainly watching for the awesome classical music sections because some of the plotlines were a bit hard to swallow:

  • Somehow it’s okay to physically and mentally abuse your son if you’re dying and only want the best for him. After all you’re his only parent (not true) and he’ll starve otherwise (not true) and there’s no other path for him in life except music (also not true).
  • No matter how much you beat and abuse your son, once he meets the right cutie-pie who forces him to play the piano again he’ll be right as rain. Not only that but he’ll also be better able to face the violent, crazy young ladies who will fall in love with him later down the line.
  • Love fixes everything including grief, parental neglect, long-term abuse and lasting mental trauma. If you have a problem it’s because you just haven’t met the right person yet.
  • Play enough music and everything will be all right with the world.

your lie in april 2But still the concert/contest episodes were excellent and the characters weren’t too dumb (plus they’re only fourteen), so I tried to move past the facile way everything was resolved in the show.

The love triangles were a bit ridiculous because from the perspective of the viewer it’s blatantly obvious Kaori liked Arima and wasn’t particularly interested in Watari as a romantic prospect. It’s also clear Kousei doesn’t like Tsubaki that way and that Tsubaki herself didn’t see him romantically until a potential rival showed up then she’s all like “He’s mine!” So that part just had me rolling my eyes non-stop. But in a way it’s natural for 14-15 year olds to worry their heads over that kind of thing and miss the woods for the trees.

TBH I thought Your Lie in April would have been better off as a 13-episode series instead of a 22-episode one. It was obvious by the 10th episode that Kaori was dying and that, as a Japanese show, they were definitely going to kill her off instead of miraculously saving her. So go ahead and kill her then. Why stretch it out 12 episodes past its due date? Because they just wouldn’t end it, they ended up having to find things to fit into the space the show would have been better off without (yes I know it was originally mangaka Naoshi Arakawa’s fault, but it’s the anime I watched so it’s the anime I’m reviewing).

The whole sequence with Kousei helping his rival’s little sister find herself was really not necessary to the show (except to show us who will be filling Kaori’s shoes when she’s gone, sorry Tsubaki!). If Nagi had to be in the show her arc could have been done in one episode, one and a half at most. The stretching out means that key characters like Kaori (!!) and Tsubaki and Watari all go out of focus for long stretches during the eps 14-22 gap, making it appear forced and unnatural when they suddenly show up again like they’d never left.

your lie in aprilThe stretch also means there’s a lot of meandering and repetition. Does Kousei want to go see Kaori in the hospital or not? Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t, sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn’t. Is she dying or not? She’s dying, no she’s not, she’s dying, no she’s not. Over and over again. A shorter, tighter series would have left a bigger impact on me.

Well anyway, long story short, power of love and all that, Arima Kousei finally regains his piano-playing skills and learns to play pieces that powerfully move his audience by channeling all his emotion into them. Btw, it was never resolved whether he could hear himself play or not by the end, but it doesn’t really matter because LOVE IS EVERYTHING. Even if your mother beat you and verbally abused you, it’s okay because she loved you! And in the end Kaori FINALLY died like she’d been telegraphing for the past 12 episodes. Her death was quite tastefully handled in a beautifully symbolic way, almost worth the long wait (well not really).

If it had ended with her just dying and Arima moving on, well I was still on board at that point. But at the very end, episode 22, the author seemingly realized s/he had to explain why the series is called Your Lie in April. Well it turns out Kaori was lying about liking Kousei’s friend Watari and had actually been interested in Kousei since childhood. But she knew Tsubaki would never introduce her to Kousei and she was too chicken to contact him herself, so she told a single lie: “Kaori likes Watari” and thus wormed her way into his life.

your lie in april songsTwo problems with this. First, we viewers knew already that she liked Kousei. She didn’t seem that interested in Watari to begin with, or him in her either. More importantly, the backstory Kaori tells about having seen Arima Kousei play at a recital many years ago is almost exactly the same as the backstory for another character, Emi. The only difference is Emi chooses to play the piano to confront Arima while Kaori switches to the violin so she can play alongside him.

This means while it’s an interesting thing to know, it’s hardly an earth-shattering revelation worthy of being brought up at the very end of the show. If Emi hadn’t done it first it would have been amazing, but now it’s like “Okay?” They should have left the story at Kaori’s death and kept her something of an enigma till the end IMHO.

Anyway, those are my criticisms. I still watched Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso till the end and enjoyed it, so take them as the nitpicks of a fan, not a complainer. I already mentioned that the classical music was great, especially for someone who dabbles in the piano (I play Hanon every day too! But I’ve never seen any sunflowers or cherry blossoms burst out when I play. What am I doing wrong?) The whole soundtrack was fantastic and highly enjoyable as a result.

The use of color (to signify emotions) and trains (to represent leaving/going on a journey) was a little heavy-handed and overdone, but also easy to understand. As with most overwrought tragedies the characters are also quite memorable, if only because they’re in your face so much all the time. As an extra plus it was a romance without any panty-flashing or accidental gropes or any other inappropriate content, just a nice, clean all-ages kind of show. It might bore or frighten younger viewers because of the unhappy topics and slow pace, but it’s good watching for anyone else. Your Lie in April is highly recommended for music and romance lovers with a lot of patience and the ability to overlook ridiculous Aesops.

And if you really enjoyed it, also check out Nodame Cantabile (if you liked the classical music+romance side) and Socrates in Love (if you liked the romance+dying aspect).

Million Doll and Jitsu wa Watashi wa – Decent but still dropped

The last post featured anime I didn’t like enough to even finish an episode of. This post features two shows I fairly enjoyed the first episode of but didn’t see the need to watch the rest of. Once you watch enough anime, you’re able to  get a general sense for what a show is going to like just from the introductory episode. Million Doll and Jitsu wa Watashi wa are both shows I would probably enjoy moderately if I’d continued, but they weren’t gripping enough to justify the time and effort so I’m saying goodbye to them on a positive note.

million doll episode 1 screenshotMillion Doll – Each episode is short, which is always a good thing. The music is extremely forgettable, which is only natural for idol music. Although it’s a show about cute young girls, they did show some of the darker elements of idol life, including the fickle fandom and the poor amenities (playing to small crowds, having to walk home from the airport) as well as some of the rewards, mainly having people support and cheer you on.

Good for them, but they’d either have to make the music a lot better or the show a lot more realistic or at least introduce some direct competition before they could interest me enough to watch the whole show.

jitsu wa watashi wa episode 1 screenshot2Jitsu wa Watashi wa – I don’t mind romances where you already know who’s going to end up with who from the start – if anything, that’s my preference. So I thought I would like Jitsu wa, but the main guy is just too awkward with too many weird expressions to enjoy. I know it’s his gimmick, but it’s uncomfortable to watch.

The show is also extremely slow because half the ‘action’ takes place in the mind of the main character. He spends too much time thinking and thinking about things before saying or doing anything, it’s annoying.

Since his relationship with the vampire girl is all but established in episode 1 and since I’ve seen enough of this kind of show to know how things are going to go (slowly growing closer, opposition from girl’s family, reporter girl trying to expose her secret, etc) and since the lengths he’ll have to go to to keep her secret will lead to all kinds of embarrassing situations, which I really hate, so I’m gonna bail out now. It was a cute show, but one episode was enough.

Neeext!

Radio stations to check out

I came across live365.com by chance just new. Input “japan” in the search string and it came out with 300+ results! I don’t have the time to check them all out right now so I’ll just save that URL here and check them out when I’m ready. One of the results is a station with Japanese gospel. Gospel!? In Japanese!?!?! I’m listening to it right now, not bad. Just that they alternate with Japanese and American music, which isn’t really good for me. Still, having fun with that right now. It’s all good.