It would be nice if I’d had something cheerier and more meaningful for my 300th post, but I’m so lazy these days it’s surprising enough that I actually posted anything. I’m still working my way through my massive ever-growing anime backlog. I’ve found some pretty good stuff lately, which I’ll talk about once I finish them. Since there’s still good stuff out there, that only makes me all the more merciless when I come across shows I don’t really like. Most recent victims:
Hello Kiniro Mosaic – I’ve already mentioned it before, I forget where, but since “cute girls doing cute stuff” series are a dime a dozen these days, a show has to really stand out to get my attention these days. Hello Kiniro Mosaic is so boring I dropped it about 10 minutes in. Every skit is slow and pointless, the ‘jokes’ aren’t funny at all, the schoolgirls obsessing over each other (and the teachers obsessing over them) is a little creepy and while the character designs are cute, they aren’t especially unique or memorable. There’s bound to be better stuff out there. Dropped.
GATE: Two strikes against this, first the realistic armor and weapons. I don’t like anything resembling realistic war in books, anime, manga, you name it. I can watch 100 episodes of space-fighting Gundam beam spam or magical sparks going flying through the air, but you ground it in reality and my interest fades faster than you can say “Self-Defence Force.”
The second strike was the protagonist. Honestly he’s just gross. 33, otaku, ugly as sin, nothing on his mind except games and anime. He’s just yucky. People talk about how it would be interesting to have more anime protagonists who aren’t wide-eyed teenagers, and to an extent I agree, but someone who hasn’t made anything of their life at 33 is just too disgusting to watch. Did I already mention he’s really ugly? He’s ugly. I don’t feel like rooting for him throughout whatever adventures he has beyond the gate, so I didn’t even make it to the end of episode 1. GATE is dropped, good riddance.
Danchigai – I usually like anime with short episodes but in this case 3 minutes felt like 3 hours. Nothing significant happened – guy woke up, bickered with siblings, went to school, but they still had to throw in unnecessary tsundereness and suggestive content. There were no compelling situations, no story or even background (who are these people and why are they all living together?) so nothing made me want to watch any more after an episode.
Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei No Kyoukan – Started out somewhat interesting with all those bug monsters. The little combat I saw didn’t look too interesting, but I figured it would get better as stuff was explained later. Unfortunately before that we had to deal with the usual “funny” misunderstandings with the main character walking around with jam on his crotch and walking into the women’s bathroom and all those other situations I haven’t found funny in about 10 years.
The idea of an elite fighter taking charge of a bunch of weaklings and whipping them into shape is a good one, but it was clear from episode 1 that the show is going to be more about perverted incidents and harem-type occurrences instead of just normal fighting and training like I was hoping for. Not my cup of tea. Next.
Madan no Ou to Vanadis – I was looking for more shows with overpowered MCs after finishing Mahouka, and someone recommended this. Well, the hero isn’t quite as overpowered as Tatsuya. He’s just really, really good with a bow and then he gets a super magic bow and well, you can take it from there.
I watched about 3 or 4 episodes, up to the point where he kills the dragon with the magic bow. I dropped it because it was boring. The skimpily-dressed ladies falling all over the main guy didn’t help the show’s case, but if the political intrigue and the battles had been any good there could have been hope. But really, there’s only so much you can do with a bow and an arrow. Point, and shoot. Point, and shoot. Booorriiing. After watching a long, supposedly strategic battle I couldn’t bring myself to root for any of the sides and didn’t see the point of continuing.
Yay, my backlog is shrinking! I’ll post about another reject next time – the only reason I didn’t add it today is because it comes highly recommended so I want to give it one more episode to get its act together. See you next time!
I didn’t even finish Dragon Sister volume 1, but I’m going to “review” it anyway. It’s the only way to get relief from my suffering. I know near the end Tokyopop was licensing anything that looked even slightly like a manga, but I didn’t know the problem was this bad. When I think of all the delightful little series, maybe a little average but certainly not as bad as Dragon Sister, that could have been licensed instead, well it brings a little tear to my eye.
As usual, the blurb:
The classic Chinese tale of The Three Kingdoms–with all your favorite historical figures cast as cute girls! As the Han Dynasty collapses, two mighty warriors–Zhang Fei and Guan Yu–stand strong against the tide of rebellion. But because these fighters are female, their dreams of fighting in the Imperial army are nothing but dreams… until they find a patron and like-minded brother in Liu Bei, an idealistic descendant of royalty with dreams of his own. Forging a pact, the three form a volunteer army dedicated to restoring peace, which means first defeating three deceptively adorable sisters who oppose them, and who have their own, definitely cuter, plan for China’s future… One thing’s for sure–history’s about to get a makeover!
The first line is the beginning of my troubles – I have never been able to keep all the characters and plot twists of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms straight. Dragon Sister is probably the closest I’ve come to understanding all the different factions and which character belongs where, which they manage by keeping the main cast down to 6, 9 if you count a few extras. That’s a good start.
What’s not so good is that the mangaka (nini?) assumes that everyone is completely familiar with the plot, so s/he just jumps straight from important event to important event without any explanation. First the heroes/heroines meet up and decide to fight together. Next chapter they’re already in the middle of a battle, then suddenly the battle is over. Suddenly they meet Cao Cao, then just as suddenly he disappears. Next battle they’re already in the loyalist camp kicking up a fuss over something inconsequential. Is that how the original story went? I don’t know, but it’s hard enough to follow all the different factions without any smooth transitions from Point A to B to help keep things straight.
That wasn’t the worst of it, though. The worst was the waste of the premise. The idea is that due to a curse, all the heroes of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms have been reborn as women. It’s not the first time a writer has recast historical characters as different genders and it won’t be the last. In Dragon Sister though, the problems are threefold.
If all heroes are women, why are Liu Bei and Cao Cao still male? Aren’t they heroes? Or will there be a reveal later that they were women all along?
Zhang Fei and Guan Yu spend time kvetching because being women keeps them from fighting for the loyalist army. Then it turns out Dong Zhuo, leader of said army, is a woman as well. So being a woman isn’t the barrier it was set up to be, Why bother having that gimmick in the first place?
Turns out the gimmick exists for the sake of cheap titillation, nothing more. I should have known as much when I saw that cover. Dong Zhuo almost always comes across poorly in RotK adaptations, and this time she’s a sneaky lesbian who lusts after the heroines and dresses them in revealing clothing (that’s actually less revealing than Guan Yu’s standard outfit) so they can trip and show off body parts. What happened to telling a story?
It’s a shame the series is so sub-part because I quite liked the clean art style. It just screams “modern shounen,” like Naruto meets Full Metal Alchemist kind of art. Still good art will only take you so far without good writing. No wonder even Tokyopop dropped it after two volumes. If you’re that hung up on seeing your favorite RotK heroes redrawn as women, or if you’re such a big fan that you’ll buy anything set in that era, then I guess you might get something out of Dragon Sister. Otherwise it’s not something to go out of your way to read.
All right, I’m sure we can all agree that Dungeon de Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteru darou ka (Is it Wrong to Try to Pick up Girls in a Dungeon?) is a ridiculously long title that no anime reviewer should be expected to type out more than once in her lifetime, so I’m going to abbreviate it as Danmachi for the rest of this review. Any objections? I thought not.
On to business. Danmachi is set in a fantasy RPG world where everyone lives in a town with a massive dungeon in it and spend most of their time dungeon-crawling or taking part in related activities. If you’ve watched Tower of Druaga (highly recommended) it’s pretty much the same thing except instead of going up the characters are always heading down. And unlike in Druaga no one knows exactly what’s at the bottom or what they’re heading there for. They’re just exploring the dungeon because it’s there. Typical human nature.
Bell and Hestia. I don’t see the chemistry at all.
Into this show comes an ordinary seeming boy named Bell Cranel, who forms a contract with a busty loli goddess called Hestia. She gets to form her own clan and he gets the power and protection of a goddess, win-win. Except super-win for him, because somehow he manages to get an EXPx2 passive and some other passive haxes that make him a super-duper rookie in no time at all… which robs the series of all fun pretty quickly.
I watched most of the show pretty faithfully but by episode 13 I’d had enough. “Yeah, yeah, Bell’s just going to kill the boss and save the day again.” Skip to the last few minutes of the episode and yup, just as I expected. Oh, but it’s worse than that. It turns out that the reason why Bell is so super-special and all the gods are interested in him isn’t because he was lucky enough to get that Double EXP passive. Nope, luck had nothing to do with it. He’s actually the grandson of Zeus, king of the gods. Waaaooow. Color me surprised. And a little bit angry.
I really hate it when the main character starts out prattling about “working hard” and “determination” and “wanting to get stronger” and then it turns out the secret was in their genes all along. If you’re not lucky enough to be born to the right parents or into the right family from the start then you might as well not bother, is the message of shows like that. Dragonball (love that show but maaaan…), Naruto, Bleach where we thought Ichigo was some random human then it turned out his parents were reapers, now Danmachi as well. Like, I don’t mind at all if the character is a super-elite because of their families. No, really. But I like to be told that upfront instead of being fed a load of dung about hard work and determination blahdiblah when in the end it’s who you know that matters.
Bell-sama sugoooi!
I was going sour on Danmachi before that revelation came up though. I’m not sure why. I like JRPGs quite a bit, so I like animes set in game-like worlds, but this show just didn’t do it for me. It was all over the place. Maybe they spent too much time on the Lily part early on so the rest felt rushed. The last few episodes were just one random boss fight after another after another. Oh Bell-sama is so sugoi! Bell-sama! Bell this, Bell that. *sigh*
And then all these characters just showed up and took center stage in the last few eps like this Hermes guy and his girl and Welf who should have gotten some more development but was just kinda there, and some other familias and then some random baddies who were eventually forced to recognize the wonderfulness of Bell-sama and it was all just one huge mess. Anyway Bell saves the day and everyone thinks he’s sooo wonderful, the end. At least I’ve saved myself the effort of watching Danmachi Season 2 if they ever have the nerve to release it.
Give us a kiss, Bell-sama!
That said, it’s not a entirely terrible series. I wouldn’t have made it all the way to the end if it was. I liked the setting and the premise, as I mentioned before. I like that people have stats and level up and go around shopping for armor and buy better weapons, all the things you would expect from an RPG series. In the beginning I was also interested in seeing how the relationship between Aiz and Bell would develop, but now I know he’s the grandson of a god, the Bell x Hestia ending is all but confirmed now, so that’s that.
The fight with the minotaur was a good one too, since at that point I still thought it was possible for Bell to lose at anything. He used a bit of strategy and dexterity as well, culminating in seizing the beast’s weapon and using it against him. The Firebolt in the wound plan was a good one too. Too bad the other battles in the show didn’t live up to that. Just people hopping up and down and flying left and right, slash, slash, magic spell, I can’t even see what they’re trying to do, oh the monster is dead. Too many battles packed in the last quarter too. Quality over quantity please.
So there are some good things about Dungeon de Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteru ni kimatteru darou, just not enough to overlook the endless fawning over Marty Stu Bell Cranel the hardworking born with a silver spoon in his mouth rookie and his very annoying “goddess” Hestia whose sole raison d’etre is to stick her boobs in the viewer’s faces. Watch if you like faux-humble overpowered protagonists, game world settings or loud, busty lolis. Give it a pass otherwise.
Okay, I’m out. The whole Battia-Geobaldi casual sex thing was my turning point. Yeah, it is a fanservice kind of manga, but there’s fanservice and there’s promiscuity and this has crossed the border. Besides, volume 3 wasn’t particularly interesting, and the appeal of the unusual warship design has long since worn off and the ‘romance’ between Kahm and Tetsuya has gotten tedious. I get bored easily, which is why I usually read only shorter series and watch shorter anime, so most likely Outlanders never stood a chance to begin with. I was going to skip to the last chapter of volume 8 to see how things ended, but maybe I’ll just read spoilers instead. I’m done here.
Hello Kiniro Mosaic – I’ve already mentioned it before, I forget where, but since “cute girls doing cute stuff” series are a dime a dozen these days, a show has to really stand out to get my attention these days. Hello Kiniro Mosaic is so boring I dropped it about 10 minutes in. Every skit is slow and pointless, the ‘jokes’ aren’t funny at all, the schoolgirls obsessing over each other (and the teachers obsessing over them) is a little creepy and while the character designs are cute, they aren’t especially unique or memorable. There’s bound to be better stuff out there. Dropped.
GATE: Two strikes against this, first the realistic armor and weapons. I don’t like anything resembling realistic war in books, anime, manga, you name it. I can watch 100 episodes of space-fighting Gundam beam spam or magical sparks going flying through the air, but you ground it in reality and my interest fades faster than you can say “Self-Defence Force.”
