This time I didn’t let a year elapse between rundown editions. I think a round of applause is in order.
(pause for applause)
Thank you, you’re too kind. Welp, time for me to rewatch the 61st Kohaku Utagassen (第61回NHK紅白歌合戦). I know I’ve seen it at least once because looking at the titles reminds me of several performances. That’s usually a good sign, but you never know. I think the next one (62nd) was the last one I saw before I quit watching Kohaku. Anyway, let’s get started!
Ugh, Arashi and some woman I don’t recognize. What’s her name? Doesn’t matter. They called out Ishikawa Ryo to introduce the program. He’s the young golfer the Japanese media was making such a big fuss about a few years ago. Whatever happened to him? Googly googly… Hmm, he was doing okay up to 2016, nothing remarkable since.
Introduction of all the performers and then plenty of talking. I don’t like Arashi or Nao Matsushita whoever she is, so I’ll be ignoring most of their banter. Sue me. The two mascots are Kohaku Utagassen mascots, U and Ta. If they really wanted mascots to sell merchandise they should have made them a lot cuter.
1. Ayumi Hamasaki 浜崎あゆみ (12) “Virgin Road” [Note: the number in brackets represents the number of times the person has appeared on Kohaku.]
Really like the dress and the nails, but her hair is so fuzzy and messy. The song was a bit boring at first, but it sort of grew on me by the end. And of course we’ll be nice and not ask “She’s on husband number what now?” In any case I don’t believe singers must live up to what they sing. It’s just another payday in the end. As long as they don’t actually claim to be living what they sing, that is.
2. Exile (6) “I Wish For You”
Have they performed this before? I knew the song already before they heard it. It’s only Exile song I know offhand and can even say I… kinda like? It was a fun performance, actually, and they seem to have added two more people to their frontline? Never seen those two before but they got a chance to lipsync too so they must be major. Good luck, guys.
3. AKB48 (3) “Kōhaku 2010 AKB48 Kamikyokutachi SP” 紅白2010 AKB48神曲SP
“Kamikyoku” should mean “famous songs” but the only song I recognize is Heavy Rotation. On the plus side this is the first AKB48 batch so I actually know a few of their names. Hope they enjoyed their 15 minutes of fame while it lasted. The performance itself wasn’t bad. They must have worked really hard to pull of the choreography well, and the slight perfections are all part of the charm. Huh, I’m in a charitable mood today aren’t I?
Introduction of the guest judges. Noguchi Souichi has been a judge recently, hasn’t he? A few years ago. I like Nakama Yukie’s colorful modern kimono.
4. NYC (2) “Yoku Asobi Yoku Manabe 100% NYC” よく遊びよく学べ100%NYC
They performed the year before and didn’t make an impression on me. It’s the same this year. I even forgot what they sang already. I remember the “100% no Yuuki” they sang afterwards, but not the main song. And TBH it’s a little embarrassing watching them wriggling and writhing around on the stage like that. Next please.
5. Angela Aki (5) アンジェラ・アキ “Kagayaku Hito” 輝く人
Gosh, what an affected show of faux affability. Was this whole emotional meet-and-greet with middle schoolers necessary? Whatevs, how is this year’s song? The song itself is mediocre, but after all the fuss of the last two performances there’s something cleansing about one woman, one guitar, one great voice. So in that sense it was good.
6. AAA (debut) “Aitai Riyū”逢いたい理由
Whoa, what’s with the tacky gold outfits? You’re hurting my eyes. I hadn’t heard of AAA before. Apparently they’re still active now, minus two female members. And they spent a long time as backup dancers and singers so now it’s their turn to shine. Will they? …Nope. That was bad.
7. Mitsuko Nakamura 中村美律子 (15) “Kawachi Otoko Bushi” 河内おとこ節
Exile’s “I Wish” is still ringing through my head. I wish, I wish, I wish for you~ Mitsuko Nakamura seemingly has only one song, which she has sung in the past few years so I’m not interested in hearing it. No, it doesn’t matter how many mascots you use or how many times you trot Tokio out.
8. Flumpool (2) “Kimi ni Todoke” 君に届け
That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to watch the Kimi ni Todoke anime for a long time. Not related to this song though, AFAIK. Three of the members have been buddies since nursery school. Amazing. But doesn’t highlighting that make the fourth member feel like even more of an outsider? I saw the staff member collecting the mic! Anyway, the song. Not particularly good.
9. Ayaka Hirahara (7)平原綾香 “Voyagers”
Matsushita pronounced the song title like “Boyjas” so I didn’t know what it was until I actually saw “Voyagers” on the screen. The song was used as the theme song for a nature program, Darwin’s something or the other, hence all the animal videos in the background. How someone can look at the variety and complexity of nature and say it all just exploded from nothingness and magically ‘evolved’ into what we see now is beyond me. But man will believe anything rather than accept God so it’s no surprise. The song is forgettable. I know that because I’ve already forgotten it. Hai, tsugi.
10. Yusuke 遊助 (2) “Hito” ひと
A lot of returnees from last year’s edition. Yusuke’s father started a band 10 years ago with the goal of making it to Kohaku Utagassen. Would be funny if he ever made it. Yusuke wrote this song for a friend of his who was getting married. It’s all “We’ll always be buddies” kind of song. Just okay. Lots of frozen smiles on the backup dancers.
Special program: “Character Kohaku Utagassen” 企画「キャラクター紅白歌合戦」
1: Okaasan to Issho “Doko no ko no kinoko” おかあさんといっしょ「ドコノコノキノコ」
Oh, that was surprisingly catchy. A bit of a Slavic influence and all, very catchy. I can imagine liking this as a kid.
2: Kaibutsu-kun (Satoshi Ohno) “Yukai tsuukai Kaibutsu-kun” 怪物くん（大野智）「ユカイツーカイ怪物くん」
So that’s where Ohno has been for the past little while. I so don’t like his face. I don’t suppose he would like mine instead. I remember all the promotion for this movie. …That wasn’t bad either. But the characters are all annoying.
3: Nana Mizuki and Atsuko Maeda and Tomomi Itano (AKB48) “Alright! Heart Catch Precure!” 水樹奈々&前田敦子・大島優子・板野友美（AKB48）「Alright! ハートキャッチプリキュア!」
I saw you guys filing in. I couldn’t get into Precure so it doesn’t matter what they sing. I hope it’s catchy… It actually is. And Nana Mizuki is lipsyncing so she’s not screeching into my ear like last year. Not bad at all.
4: Kazuo Kumakura “Gegege no Kitarou” 熊倉一雄「ゲゲゲの鬼太郎」
Huh. A relatively understated performance, but very creepy and atmospheric, just right for the theme. If I had to pick a winner I’d pick this one, actually. The voice and the footage and the lighting all fit great. Brr.
Welp, that’s finally over. Which side do the “judges” U and Ta prefer? They all did well, TBH. A draw! Yup, that’s fair. Now get off my screen, Ohno.
The guest judge is the Nunoe Mura, widow of the author of Gegege no Kitaro (and a mangaka herself) so she remembers her husband being excited about the anime song when it first came out 40 years ago. That’s sweet. What’s not sweet is the time-wasting involving the cast of Gegege no Nyobo (Gegege’s Wife), a drama based on Nunoe Mura’s autobiography. Fake, forced banter and laughing at nothing.
11. Natsuko Godai 伍代夏子 (17) “Hitori Zake” ひとり酒
The lady with the beautiful smile. Absolutely gorgeous kimono, and I like the song too. It’s the standard enka stuff, but the “chibiri chibiri” part is nice. And look, it’s Minami Minegishi with a full head of hair! Nyeh heh heh. Actually I saw her on Downtown DX not too long ago with hair on her head, but I couldn’t resist one little dig.
12. Takashi Hosokawa 細川たかし (34) “Naniwabushi da yo Jinsei wa” 浪花節だよ人生は
That’s quite the glittery hakama he’s got on there. And the top is shiny too? Sugoi. He didn’t forget the lyrics this time. So pointless having AKB48 in every performance. This is what the J-netizens called gorioshi – forcing a celebrity down the audience’s throat until they become popular. It certainly worked for AKB48.
Ah, now I see why Matsushita Nao was wasting so much time talking. She was buying time for Arashi to change. And now they’re buying time for her. Hello there, young-looking Kusanagi-kun. The mascot is for getting everyone to switch from analog to digital television. Japan has a mascot for virtually everything. We’ll just ignore Shingo by his side.
13. Porno Graffiti (9) “Kimi wa 100%”君は100%
The lead singer Akihito likes to climb towers so he’s looking forward to the opening of the Tokyo Skytree. Oh, the stage background changed a bit too. Just a bit. The song isn’t one Porno Graffiti’s better ones. It wasn’t funny when he fluffed the lyrics too, ‘cos he just plain fluffed them. It’s only funny if the singer makes an error because he was ogling pretty girls like Takashi Hosokawa or because Downtown was needling him like T. M. Revolution.
14. Kana Nishino 西野カナ (debut) “Best Friend”
I know I’ve heard her name somewhere, but… turns out I know her face too. What I don’t know is her voice and her music. Nice red dress BTW. It would look nice on me. My address is… j/k. I was worried when the camera zoomed in for an upskirt shot (whyyy?) but luckily she’s wearing red bloomers. The song is the kind of thing I might have liked at 15, listening to it with my “best friends” who I don’t even know where they are these days.
15. Funky Monkey Babys (2) “Ato Hitotsu”あとひとつ
The height difference between Tanaka and Sabu-chan is something else, haha. Generic “do your best” Japanese pop song. I can’t even remember the tune now.
16. Miyuki Kawanaka 川中美幸 (23) “Nirinsou” 二輪草
This song agaaaain? I like it but agaaain? The people who came to cheer her on are her co-stars from a TV show called Teppan. Never seen it. The kimono is a bit busy. Not as busy as the backup dancers though. What’s with 90% of performances having 20 people hopping around in the background? Maji uzai.
17. HY (debut) “Toki wo Koe”時をこえ
The obligatory “No more war” section of Kohaku Utagassen. HY is a group from Okinawa with a song based on stories told by the lead singer’s grandmother, who was 12 years old at the end of World War II. Commendable message but I can’t remember the song any more. Yes, already.
18. Kumiko クミコ (debut) “Inori” INORI〜祈り〜
Haunting, haunting song. I remember this one stayed with me for a long time after I watched it all those years ago. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about Sadako terrified of death, folding those cranes day after day hoping they could save her. If only someone had been able to share the gospel with her.
Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. (Hebrews 2:14-15)
If you’re reading this and you’re afraid to die, you don’t have to be. Jesus Christ has conquered death and the grave through His death on the cross. John 11:25-26: Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” I hope you do.
19. Kaori Mizumori 水森かおり (8) “Matsushima Kikō” 松島紀行
I have NO idea what W Colon is talking about. None at all. Mizumori with another long dress hiding her platform heels and another generic enka song. I actually enjoyed the song more when I took my eyes off the screen and just listened. The gymnasts behind her are just too distracting.
20. Hideaki Tokunaga 徳永英明 (5) “Toki no Nagare ni Mi wo Makase” 時の流れに身をまかせ
A cover of Teresa Teng’s classic song. Tokunaga released a cover album of songs by female artists and he’s been living pretty off that ever since, but TBH I like his own songs better. Not to mention Teresa Teng is a tough act to follow.
21. Nana Mizuki 水樹奈々 (2) “Phantom Minds”
Sounds like the theme song from an anime I would drop after one episode, lol. Her singing (syncing?) has improved from last year so it wasn’t a bad experience.
22. L’Arc-en-Ciel (4) “Bless”
“Bless” was the NHK theme song for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver that year. Eeee, it’s L’Arc en Ciel~~~ …is how I would have reacted 10 to 15 years ago when I used to buy all their albums. I still have them actually but I only listen to a few songs now. It’s good to see them on the stage though ^_^ Hyde, you’re syncing aren’t you? No way you’re hitting those notes so clearly with your smoked-out voice these days. Oh, he’s burning the higher notes a bit, haha. Just as expected. Okay song, but I was really happy to see Laruku.
23. Yoshimi Tendo 天童よしみ (15) “Jinsei Michizure” 人生みちづれ
Hmm, I see what Ayanokouji Kimimaro did there, but it wasn’t that funny. The audience seems to agree. It’s just a typical enka song, but somehow I really enjoyed this one. Even the little “rurururururu” at the end was great. I think my charitable mood from earlier is back.
24. Shinichi Mori 森進一 (43) “Erimo Misaki” 襟裳岬
Erimo Misaki! I like this song! It was written by folk singer Takuro Yoshida, who doesn’t appear on Kohaku himself because of reasons (possibly involving a fight with Akira Fuse). I know all this because I’m a huge fan of Takuro Yoshida. I used to own several of his albums too, until they were stolen or misplaced. That said, Shinichi Mori’s version of Erimo Misaki is just perfect, his voice and singing style just nail the lyrics perfectly. This should be good… And it was. Though his lipstick and too-young hairstyle were a little distracting. And the background chorus was unnecessary.
The white team won the first half, which is just about right IMO.
Group performance of Kohaku Theme Song “Uta no Chikara” 紅白テーマソング「歌の力」合唱
The opening act for the second half. Same unimpressive stuff as last year. They’re doing their best, but this song just isn’t growing on me. The piecemeal singing style doesn’t help either.
25. Hiromi Go 郷ひろみ (23) “Go!Go!Year Kōhaku Special Medley” GO!GO!イヤー紅白スペシャルメドレー
He turned 55 that year, and 5 is go in Japanese, hence “Go Go.” I like it when Japanese does stuff like that, though it can be a pain to translate. This was fun to watch. I don’t know any of his songs, but I liked Aishiteru, and the dancing for Dangan Groove was very lively.
Ugh, 6 hosts mean 6 times the fake smiles and fake laughs. Now I’m remember why I got so tired of Kohaku Utagassen so quickly. Sakana-kun again. Ugh. You can read more about the story behind the Kunimasu salmon he rediscovered here.
26. aiko (9) “Mukai Awase” 向かいあわせ
Another bland and forgettable song from aiko. The background sets are a little fancier this year than last year. They’re not zooming in on the background either so no glaring pixels. C’est bon.
27. Perfume (3) “Nee” ねぇ
Nee, nee, nee, nee. This title is just calculated to become an earworm. It doesn’t work on me with just one listen, but I can imagine hearing this everywhere in Japan for weeks, it would definitely get stuck in your head! The outfits are interesting, the background is cool, the choreography is great. The song is meh. Nee?
28. Tokio (17) “Advance”
Ah, the usual photo makes its usual appearance. Kind of fell flat this year, but I for one was happy to see it. How is the music? Seeing as Tokio isn’t really known for music these days. Nice song, but extremely generic-sounding. Calculated to be an inoffensive opening song to some shounen anime or TV show somewhere, I can just smell it. Random observance: isn’t Nagase’s hair suspiciously black for his age? 😉
29. Kumi Koda 倖田來未 (6) “KODA KUMI 2010 Special Medley”
I like her rose dress, but it’s obviously coming off in a few seconds, isn’t it? Ah. The hosts confirmed it. Come on, don’t give it away. We all know it, but that doesn’t mean you have to say it! Gyahaha, they almost pulled Ku-chan off the stage along with her dress. Nice recovery there, girl. No good songs in that medley but it was aight.
30. Hiroshi Itsuki 五木ひろし (40) “Oshiroi Hana” おしろい花
His 40th year since his debut. That’s cool. This song was written by his past composer who passed away so he’s singing it to honor him. Itsuki has songs I really like such as “Furimukeba Nihonkai” and “Shiodoki” but this won’t be joining those ranks. It’s so generic I started spacing out after the first verse. I appreciate the no-frills performance though. Really like the butterfly lapel pin too.
Unwanted and unneeded musical interlude from Arashi
Blah blah, Arashi, Japan, hometown. I told you I don’t like Arashi. Don’t make me repeat myself. You guys are just reading off a teleprompter, you don’t mean any of these things, stop putting on airs.
31. Akiko Wada 和田アキ子 (34) Akkoii! Kōhaku 2010 Special “AKKOィィッ!紅白2010スペシャル”
Her voice has really changed from her debut days. I know because I’ve listened to “Waratte Yurushite” and “Furui Nikki” a lot. But I still enjoyed watching and listening to this. All right! The AKB48 girls are just flapping their lips in the background. What are all those women there for anyway?
Ooh, accidental bad shot. Come to think of it, I’ve seen very few staff members this year. Was it last year or the year before when they were scurrying around everywhere like cockroaches? That was fun to watch.
32. Yūzō Kayama 加山雄三 (17) Wakadaisho 50-nen! Special Medley “若大将50年! スペシャルメドレー”
Why so many medleys this year? The Wakadaisho series was a series of movies Yuzo Kayama starred in, is what Wikipedia told me just now. Anyway, that was brilliant! I loved both songs. I didn’t know any of his music before, but this Japanese-style country music is really easy to listen to and the lyrics are clean and heartwarming. It was great!
33. Masaharu Fukuyama 福山雅治 (3) “Michishirube” 道標
Beamed in from another location just like last year. What a crowd. He’s cutting his hair live on stage to say good-bye to his Ryomaden role. And he wants the producer to do it. Okay, this is beyond creepy. Like, waay beyond. I’mma skip the cutting parts. NHK is really set on pushing that Ryomaden thing, seeing how much time they wasted on it both last year and this year. The song is okay.
34. Sachiko Kobayashi 小林幸子 (32) “Kaachan no Hitorigoto” 母ちゃんのひとり言
The last year before they dropped Sachiko Kobayashi from the program? I’m really happy they got rid of Kenichi Mikawa but I was sad when I heard Last Boss had stopped appearing too. Let’s enjoy her while she’s here. Actually she hasn’t repeated a song in all the time I’ve been watching Kohaku Uta Gassen.
Wahh, that was great. I so remember that goofy-looking bird. I mean it’s an amazing piece of stagecraft when it stands still, but it moves so jerkily it looks like a vulture instead of a crane. I enjoyed watching it flap around, though. Grand spectacles are fun to watch too!
35. Kobukuro コブクロ(6) “Ryūsei” 流星
Lots of talking from the guests to buy Kobayashi time to exit the stage. I always think Kobukuro songs are just okay. How’s this one? Yeah. Same opinion. I can see how it would be the perfect J-drama song though, especially if they play it at overly emotional moments like they always do. Come to think of it, I haven’t watched a J-drama in at least 10 years.
36. Kana Uemura 植村花菜 (debut) “Toilet no Kamisama” トイレの神様
I remember this hit song of the year being hideously boring. Was I right? Whoa, it’s even more boring than I’d remembered. UGH. And so fake. From the lyrics basically she was selfish and mean to her family until her grandma died then made up stories about her grandma to get some money. I can’t believe Kohaku spent so much time on this tripe. Tch.
37. Arashi 嵐(2) “2010 Kōhaku Original Medley” 2010紅白オリジナルメドレー
They’re singing again. Haven’t they punished me enough? I think reading too many tabloid articles has filled me with a revulsion for Arashi that I don’t feel for most other J-boy bands. Not that I follow any of them, but either way it’s quite unfortunate. Not as unfortunate as the stalkerish lyrics to “Monster” but definitely up there.
Wow, those scenes from Gegege no Nyoubou… Such terrible acting. Every time I try to watch a J-drama, there’s always a hope that they’ve become less wooden and artificial in their acting but they never have. Especially when I compare them to other Asian dramas, the overacting is just too much. Anyway, that’s just by-the-by.
Hmph, I can play the piano too. And I can do without a long CM of my latest movie playing in the background. Nah, kidding. I appreciate the amount of work that goes into such a performance.
38. Ikimono-gakari いきものがかり (3) “Arigatō” ありがとう
I really like the thin gold bracelet and the thin gold ring on the singer’s hand. Looks like something easily stolen though, just swipe swipe swipe. The song itself is nice but they already made us listen to it 5 minutes ago so it’s like a rehash. Nice enough performance, very simple.
Special performance: Keisuke Kuwata “Sore yuke Baby!!” “Honto wa Kowai Ai to Romance” 特別出演：桑田佳祐「それ行けベイビー!!」「本当は怖い愛とロマンス」
This was the year after Kuwata’s return from cancer surgery. Glad he’s back and doing okay. But wow, he has really bad teeth. Smoker? I really like Southern All Stars when their lyrics aren’t too risque. I’ve been a big fan ever since I heard one of their songs as the ending to the Ooku drama. I couldn’t understand a word of the Japanese-only drama back then, but man did I fall crazy in love with the ED theme. But enough about me, how’s the music?
For some reason I remember “Sore yuke Baby” very clearly. Guess I liked it back then. And I like it too now. But I like “Hontou wa Kowai Ai to Romance” even more. Kowaaaaaiaiaiaai Ai to Roomance! I like it, it’s seriously catchy. The bunny girls look a bit uncomfortable though. Perhaps Kuwata’s reputation as a lech is not completely unfounded? Lol at him introducing the next performance at the end.
39. Sayuri Ishikawa 石川さゆり (33) “Amagi Goe” 天城越え
Again? I love Amagi Goe, but again? I’d like to hear some of her other enka songs next time if possible. First let’s rewind and watch Keisuke Kuwata again… Thus fortified, on, on we go.
This time the excuse is that the lyricist for the song passed away so she’s singing to honor him. Okay, I’ll buy that. Beautiful kimono. The song is the same as ever, but I really like what they did with the stage effects, especially the ground gradually filling with red from below. Very theatrical.
40. Saburō Kitajima 北島三郎 (47) “Fusetsu Nagare Tabi” 風雪ながれ旅
Brilliant! This is the song Sabu-chan performed on the first Kohaku I watched, and I clearly remember him getting some of the pieces of “snow” in his mouth, lol. Seems he avoided that fate this time. Nice song, but it probably wouldn’t work without the effects or something similar.
41. Fuyumi Sakamoto 坂本冬美 (22) “Mata Kimi ni Koishiteru” また君に恋してる
Ah, I was waiting for this. She sang it early on last year’s program and got such a good response that she was invited back to be last-but-one batter for the red team. As I said back then, I prefer the soothing tones of the original but somehow Sakamoto’s high-pitched voice makes it work as well. Good stuff.
42. Kiyoshi Hikawa 氷川きよし (11) “Nijiiro no Baiyon” 虹色のバイヨン
Huh, I was wondering where he had gone. I wonder if he’s still on Kohaku these days or whether his time is past. I’ll find out in another 10 years at the rate I’m going. The theme this year is “Arabian Prince.” Maybe Persian? It’s… colorful. The song is ordinary.
42. Dreams Come True “Ikite Yuku no Desu♡” feat. The Kohaku Special Brass Band 生きてゆくのです♡ feat. ザ紅白スペシャルブラスバンド
I’ve always wondered if Dreams Come True is really that popular in Japan, seeing how late they appear on the program in every Kohaku. I guess they are? Not a bad song, though my attention was caught more by Miwa’s lacy kimono. Surely I could have a good seamstress copy that… She’s energetic, I’ll give her that, but her voice sounds hoarse. Still the song grew on me the more I listened to it. AAAAI SHITERU tte motto itte~.
43. SMAP (18) “This is Love ’10 SP Medley” SPメドレー
The final performance at last! SMAP! Kusanagi has been popping up in my Youtube feed recently with his cooking videos, but I know if I watch one Youtube will start spamming me with SMAP vids so I don’t dare.
I’ve been thinking this for a while, but doesn’t Ohno have surprisingly few lines and close ups for the alleged leader of Arashi? Not that I care though. As for SMAP’s performance, somehow I feel more charitable towards them now they’re gone. It even feels nostalgic to see them. Nakai out of step with everyone, Goro looking so old and stern, Katori with his faux-goofy act… They really look like middle-aged businessmen in those suits lol. Also the “This is Love” song is horrible. I’m not lovin’ it. “Triangle” is a bit better, but not by much. And what a waste of good feathers.
Results
I think the White Team has it, TBH. I loved more of their performances, especially Keisuke Kuwata, Shinichi Mori and Yuzo Kayama. And even Exile. Let’s see if the rest of Japan agrees. The hall seems to be on the White side. I don’t envy the production guys whose job it was to create that medley over the course of the program. Yes! White Team won! It was close, though. Time for the traditional singing of Hotaru no Hikari (Auld Lang Syne) and yay, it’s over! See you next time!
