Sumo, final day

The moment Kotooshu lost to Hakuho, the end result of this Nagoya basho was clear for all to see. Hakuho kept up his fine form, defeating Harumafuji yesterday and toppling Asashoryu today to win the tournament. It must be a welcome win for him, after losing out to Harumafuji last time and Asashoryu the time before. I’m happy for him, since I can honestly say the best man won this time round. Kotooshu needs to work on his stability, though I suspect some of it is due to his height (6 ft 3, right?) giving him a higher center of gravity. If he can conquer that and stay in good health, maybe all the hype won’t have been for nothing.

I hear Bulgaria wants to honor him with their highest award, btw. Interesting.

Lion Tamer

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.”

The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”

“Yes I do!”

“Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?”

“Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.”

“Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?”

“Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.”

“Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?”

“Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.”

“Well, what if that gun doesn’t work? What will you do then?”

“Well, then I pick up some of the shit that’s on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage.”

“Well, what if there ain’t no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?”

“Well, that’s dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don’t work, there’s going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that.”

Sumo, day 11

Wooo hoo, what a day! Upset after upset, shock after shock! Yesterday was boring so I didn’t bother to report it.

First, Harumafuji got his kachikoshi against Baruto, improving to 8-3 while Baruto dropped to 7-4. All Baruto has to do to maintain a winning record is to win once more so I think he’ll be fine.

Then…Chiyotaikai! I swear, that wily old goat just came into this tournament to ruin everyone’s stuff. First Asashoryu, then today he dropped Kotooshu in a shocking move, sending him sprawling face first into the dirt. All well and good, 10-1 for Kotooshu doesn’t take him out of the running, and 6-5 for Chiyotaikai isn’t half bad.

But the surprises just kept on coming: another slippery veteran, Kaio, dodged Asashoryu’s advance, gave him a swift push and sent him running out of the ring like a bull. Cue a few cushions thrown into the ring, but nobody expects much from Asashoryu any more so the crowd didn’t get very worked up.

Next match, last match of the day…SHOCKER: Kotomitsuki powers Hakuho out of the ring! It was obviously a hard-fought match, but he did it! A rain, a downpour of purple pillows! Yes! Yes! Sorry, it’s good to see Hakuho lose sometimes, and this throws the whole tournament wide open! It’s anybody’s game now, with Hakuho, Kotomitsuki and Kotooshu all at 10-1. The match-offs between these guys in the next few days will show who wears the crown. In the end, there can be only one!

Sumo, day 9

A very exciting day, all told. I missed days 7 and 8 over the weekend so it was a shock to me to realize Aasashoryu had lost once on Sunday. And then he lost again to Chiyotaikai (of all people!), cue the audience tossing their cushions into the ring. Asa 7-2, Chiyotaikai 5-4. It pains me to note that this tournament is one of Chiyotaikai’s best performances in recent years. He really needs to retire.

And then Kotomitsuki beat Harumafuji with a quick overarm toss. That makes Koto 8-1 and Haru 6-3. 6-3 is bad, he’s out of the running. On the other hand, Kotooshu had a thrilling match with veteran Kaio, stalled in the middle of the ring for almost three minutes. Kotooshu nearly ran himself out of the ring with his initial charge, but once he got his hand on Kaio’s waistband the rest was a matter for the history books.

Kotooshu and Hakuho, both still at 9-0. Hakuho still looking the most dominant. If Kotooshu makes a false start against him like he did against Kaio today, it won’t be pretty. Still, as Asa proves, upsets are what make this sport exciting, so I’m looking forward to more ups and down in the last week of the tournament!

Sumo, day 6

Nothing remarkable happened today, except hometown favorite Kotomitsuki lost to Kisenosato, dropping down to 5-1. Kisenosato’s at 5-1 too. Kotooshu, Hakuho and Asashoryu won to stay at 6-0, but Hakuho is still looking the best out of the three. Unless he gets sloppy or someone gets lucky, he’s probably going to win this one. It might be too early to call, but he’s looking really good right now. But for the record I’m supporting Asashoryu! I always like flashy sportsmen.