Japanese TV - Animefangirl!

Watched a few episodes of The TETSUWAN Dash!!

The TETSUWAN Dash!! (ザ!鉄腕!DASH!!) is a Japanese TV variety program that airs on Nihon TV and stars the members of Japanese boyband Tokio getting up to various hijinks. I say “boyband” but the member of Tokio are all past 40 by now and one episode even had two of them figuring out ways to burn fat and stay trim even in their late 30s.

How did I discover this program? Mostly by chance. I was browsing around some Japanese media fansites and saw a comment somewhere mentioning how much Japanese fans hate Taichi Kokubun, one of the members of Tokio. I browsed about a bit more and found a thread translated from 2channel about how much they hated him. TBH 2channel is just a bunch of trolls who shouldn’t be taken seriously and AFAIK Kokubun is actually one of the most popular members of the group. But long story short, someone in that thread mentioned The Tetsuwan Dash, I started googling around and quickly found this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiDIDD2Q8Go&list=PL5ku2GovwsktmEC31WTBPcY2yH-Pbboi4

Lots and lots and lots of old The Tetsuwan Dash episodes! Yay! The video quality isn’t the best so some stuff can be a little hard to see sometimes, but it’s more than good enough for keeping up my Japanese while watching stuff that isn’t completely inane (i.e. doesn’t involve AKB48 or the likes).

As a bonus it’s actually a very educational show. Parts of it are a little boring and just have two members driving around Japan in a solar car ooh-ing and aah-ing over the local sights, but the Dash Village (Dash Mura) sections teach me a lot about small-scale farming. The first episode I watched taught me about cross-pollination as the team attempted to crossbreed two varieties of rice. It was a tremendous amount of effort, especially since one breed was growing faster than the other so they had to rig a hothouse over the slower one and transplant the faster one to somehow regulate the speeds, then they had to manually pollinate some of the rice and in the end a lot of the crop was still lost to disease, and on and on. Lots of very interesting, very educational drama.

In another episode I learned about how corn is pollinated – I always wanted what those long silky fibers on the end were for. Turns out each fiber is connected to a potential grain on the cob. The fiber absorbs the pollen, passes it down to the cob and then a grain grows on that spot on the cob. Fascinating stuff, I had no idea. Furthermore, the point of growing all that corn on the farm was to create silage. I know the term “silage” and I’ve seen silos on farms and stuff but I had no idea what was actually inside. They cut up the corn, put it in rubber bags, buried it and let it ferment, and then dug it up later and fed it to the goats. I learned so much from that episode alone.

Unfortunately it turns out that Dash Village was located in Fukushima Prefecture. It became heavily irradiated after the TEPCO incident in March 2011 and has been evacuated. Even worse, the knowledgeable old farmer who does all the teaching passed away in 2014 at the ripe old age of 84. That means no more Dash Village episodes anymore, awww :-< But I haven’t gotten that far yet. The episodes I’m watching date back to 2008 or so, so I still have a while left to get there.

The other variety parts of The Tetsuwan Dash can be hit or miss. The driving around in the solar car bits are usually quite meh. The reactions of the guys in the car are so fake, it’s pretty obvious that everything’s been set up in advance and they aren’t just randomly happening upon random fishermen who randomly take them out for fishing. How young do you think we are. But other segments can be fun, especially when the guys get involved in doing something physical like the exercise segments I mentioned at the top.

Overall it’s a very enjoyable program with likable hosts (even Kokubun!) and a high educational factor for both Japan/Japanese and general knowledge. And Kokubun isn’t as bad as the trolls make him out to be, even though he does seem to do less work and eat more than the others, haha. Give it a try if you’re looking for a (relatively) intelligent Japanese TV show to practice your Japanese listening skills, especially at the advanced level. If you’re a fan of Tokio, all the better!

58th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2007 edition)

It’s been a year and a half since I did my rundown of the 57th edition. I really didn’t mean to let such a long gap elapse between posts, but that just shows how far my interest in Kohaku has dropped. The show has been losing ratings in Japan for a while, and there’s good reason for it – it’s gotten boring. It’s trying too hard to stay relevant and “entertain” with silly skits and interludes instead of letting good music (when they bother to have good musicians and not merely popular ones on) speak for itself. I still haven’t watched any of the recent ones or even downloaded the 2015 version, but maybe I’ll get round to it when I have time.

The 58th Kohaku Utagassen (2007) aired back when I still liked the show and was still quite crazy about Japanese music. I even did a quick post on it back in 2009, which you can use as a handy tl;dr because this is going to be quite a long post as usual. Expect a lot of gushing over beautiful kimonos and grumbling about dumb skits and very little else in between. Let us commence!

Introductory skit with Tsurube being his vulgar self and Nakai already showing signs of exasperation with him. Shortly before this show aired, Tsurube was in the news for an incident involving indecent exposure, so if you hear Nakai making any “porori” comments (like the sign on his fan), that’s what it’s all about.

Everyone’s lined up on the stage for the start of the show, the usual stuff. Introduction of the hosts and guests and stuff. Looks like Tsurube made a mistake in the introduction, though he could have done it on purpose. Annoying scene. Let’s start already.

1. Hello! Project 10th Kōhaku Anniversary Special Group – Morning Musume (10) Berryz Kobo (debut) Cute (°C-ute) (debut) – “Special LOVE Mix ~Shiawase no Heisei 20 Shunen Ver.~”

ハロー!プロジェクト10周年記念紅白スペシャル隊 – モーニング娘。（10）Berryz工房（初）℃-ute（初）- Special LOVE Mix 〜幸せの平成20周年 Ver.〜

The last year Momusu appeared on Kohaku, if I’m not mistaken. Certainly the last year they were relevant in any meaningful way. I like Love Machine, so that’s good enough. So many girls on the stage I don’t even know which one to focus on. Are they lip-synching? Wait, of course they are. Haha, great scene of the judges looking bored. I sympathize, honest.

Berryz Koubou and Cute are definitely lipsynching. Hurry up and end already.

2. Kenichi Mikawa (24) “Sasoriza no Onna 2007”
美川憲一（24）さそり座の女 2007

Aghhhh, another rendition of Sasoriza no Onna from Mikawa Kenichi. A technopop version kind of thing? What a waste of a great voice. He of all people didn’t need to resort to playing dress-up to be relevant. Apparently the catch phrase of the year was “dondake” so he has some gay/transgender buddies show up to do some sort of dance or something. Mercifully short segment. Dondake!!!

3. Ichirō Toba (20) “Kyoudai Bune”

鳥羽一郎（20）兄弟船

Last year’s Kyoudai Bune went down well, I suppose, so he’s repeating it again. I’m really happy. At least something I can sink my teeth into. I like this song. Akiko Wada is singing along, the rest are just clapping along politely. Ugh, my DVD is scratched ;____; I like to burn episodes to DVD so I can watch and type at the same time. *sigh* Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.

4. Miyuki Kawanaka (20) “Kanazawa no Ame”
川中美幸（20）金沢の雨

A song about a married couple, which is why Nakai dedicates it to Jinnai & Noriko Fujiwara (before their subsequent messy divorce). More polite clapping except Akiko Wada again. I love her hair decorations. The kimono design is interesting, though for some reason the weave makes it look like a bathrobe ^.^;; I don’t think I’m going to get my usual kimono fix this year. Sweet but typical enka song.

Introduction of the guest judges. Ho hum. Jinnai and Fujiwara are there not for any achievement they made that year but because they got married and everyone made a fuss about it. Famous for being famous. Though I later discovered that Jinnai is actually a pretty funny comedian.

5. w-inds. (6) “Beautiful Life”

Aww w-inds, my Kohaku won’t be same now that you guys have disbanded. This is fun to watch, actually. The little kids are cute. And the song isn’t too terrible. In fact I rather like it. This the nil se bonum principle applied to a boyband, isn’t it?

6. Mitsuko Nakamura (12) “Danjiri”
中村美律子（12）だんじり

My first time seeing Mitsuko Nakamura perform, at the time. Very taut neck skin, alias facelift. It looks pretty uncomfortable, tbh. Interesting hairdo and outfit. It’s a bit hard to know what to focus on with all the gymnastics going on in the background. Nothing special about the song.

7. Takeshi Kitayama (3) “Oga Hantou” 北山たけし（3）男鹿半島

More gymnastics. Nice sparkly tie, I want. Another song that doesn’t make much use of his quality voice. Hmm, just an okay song. Rawr, you have to be man, rawr, but watch these people teeter unsteadily on each others’ shoulders first. The gymnastic people are known as “Muscle Musical” or something like that. Brief, pointless performance.

8. Yōko Nagayama (14) “Jonkara Onna Bushi”
長山洋子（14）じょんから女節

I like this song and the vivid purple accents on her outfit. Go on Yoko, show that shamisen who’s boss! The backup players look a bit stagestruck. Powerful, passionate belting out of the tune, that’s what is needed to lift these standard enka songs above the ordinary. Full points to Yoko Nagayama, especially for that flourish at the end.

9. Exile (3) “Lovers Again ~Kōhaku Version~”

I’ve never seen the point of Exile, sorry. I guess they’re better singers and dancers than SMAP (even the frogs in my pond are better singers than Nakai). Apart from that. …Umm… They look kind of old to be prancing around like ballerinas like that. Umm… yeah.

10. Mihimaru GT (2) “Gazen Yeah!” (俄然Yeah!)

Mihimaru GT again! Don’t forget to “crap” your hands!! It’s a catchy song actually. Not as catchy as the dancers are trying to make it out to be, but a job is a job. Who’s that on the side with the flag… oh, she gave it to the singer. Ah so.

11. WaT (3) “WaT Kōhaku Selection”

Everyone keeps hurrying Tsurube along when he starts to talk. Even Wentz wants him to shut up so he can go stand by. Medley of WaT songs for those who like that sort of thing. Nothing in this for me.

Stupid, stupid skit backstage, but it’s interesting to see what things are like back there. Would have been better without Tsurube – I can only imagine the bashing he must have received from viewers that year.

12. Angela Aki (2) “Sakura Iro”
アンジェラ・アキ（2）サクラ色

Angela Aki has a few songs I like, like “Home” but this one is very forgettable. I have watched this Kohaku a few times, but I can’t remember this song for the life of me. Sit down and play your piano, girl. Then again I’m the one who advocated passionate performances and this is certainly one. Just wish I liked the song better.

13. Akira Fuse (23) “Kimi wa Bara yori Utsukushii”
布施明（23）君は薔薇より美しい

Akira Fuse can really do a number on this song (in a good way) given the chance, but I’m guessing he’s performed it so many times on Japanese TV that they felt the need to spice it up with a jazzier instrumental and some “sexy” rather similar-looking ex-Takarazuka actresses. Both additions ruin the song, IMO. Also his boring black suit clashes with the fancy red evening gowns the ladies are wearing. Wear something more Vegas if you want to go that route. These are hardly love song lyrics, either. “You were really boring before but now you’re sexy so I want you.” Get lost, creep!

14. Kaori Kōzai (15) “Mugon Zaka”
香西かおり（15）無言坂

Hold on, I have to mentally psych myself for the screechy “zakaaaa” at the end. Phew, okay, ready. The kimono and hair decs are both disappointing. And the girls in the background aren’t adding a single thing. Oh, the “zakaaaa” wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting. She must have taken singing lessons after last year.

Some interim voting for One-Seg etc.

15. Kiyoshi Maekawa & Cool Five (17) “Soshite, Kobe”
前川清（&クール・ファイブ）（17）そして、神戸

Moody Katsuyama must be one of those flash-in-the-pan celebrities who come and go in every showbiz in the world. I love this song though, so it’s cool. Nakai making fun of Tsurube for the 10th time isn’t though. Ooh, love this song. Koobeeee~ Not even Maekawa bursting into laughter at the end could spoil the performance. The subtle sparkles in his suit make everything better.

16. Kaori Mizumori (5) “Hitori Satsumaji”
水森かおり（5）ひとり薩摩路

Another long dress to hide the platform shoes. Very fancy stage with the dancers and wispy things. I like it. Typical heartbreak enka song though. Ooh, more wispy things in different colors. Nice and colorful!

Oshirikajirimushi Special Stage

Sekine and daughter + Taka and Toshi introduce the skit. Oshirikajirmushiiii. So cute! Kajitte kajiite kajitte nanbo! The kids are even cuter. Awwwwwwww~ Even Tsurube got in on the act. He seems to be having fun.

Results of the early voting. White team is ahead. Won’t these things influence the final score? Not sure it’s the best idea. Then some random conversation introducing the next performances.

17. AKB48 (debut), Leah Dizon (debut), Shoko Nakagawa (debut) “Nihon ga Hokoru Saisentan! Special Medley”
AKB48（初）リア・ディゾン（初）中川翔子（初）日本が誇る最先端! スペシャルメドレー[12] (会いたかった（AKB48）、恋しよう♪（リア・ディゾン）、空色デイズ（中川翔子）、なんてったってアイドル)

New and hot on the scene, AKB48 make their first appearance. Little did anyone know what horrors had just been unleashed on the world, brr! Haha, actually I don’t care anything about them. Aitakatta, aaa itakatta, no! They’re just there to prance and look pretty while the song plays in the background.

Leah Dizon has yet to make a proper comeback. She’s not lip syncing, at least, I can tell because she sounds horrible. It’s hard for those body-promoting “singers” to last long because there’s always someone younger or cuter or willing to show more flesh. That probably why Shokotan decided to go after the loyal otakus instead. Okay enough already, next segment please. Haha, funny shot of Yui Aragaki looking totally baffled during the performance of Nante tatte Idol. Then again she always looks baffled.

18. Kome Kome Club (5) “AiKimi Roman”
米米CLUB（5）愛君浪漫

Yay, Kome Kome Club! YEAAAH! Welcome back! I always like the ultra-exaggerated, clear way Ishii enunciates his words. It’s very good for learning Japanese if you’re working on that now. I love their music too. I like this new Aa Roman Hikou song too. Highly enjoyable stuff, almost makes up for the “idols” that came before.

More conversation between Ishii and Tsurube then interrupted by Nakai. No fun.

19. Ayaka (2) “Peace Loving People ~Special Piano Version~”
Rather pedestrian song. Then she’s joined by Kobukuro for a rendition of “Winding Road.” Dunno, don’t care. I should find something more to say… But I got nothing so let’s keep going. Okay, nice Steinway piano, I want one.

20. Porno Graffiti (6) “Link”

Tsurube has a bit of trouble pronouncing their name, but they don’t have any problem singing. This song didn’t make it into my top 5 of Porno Graffiti songs, but it’s not bad. Just seems a little generic. It sounds like something anyone could sing, if that makes sense. It’s a nice song though. The NHK Hall and the audience is surprisingly small for such a prestigious show.

Mogi Kenichiro released a game about brains or something and mutters about music massaging the brain or something. Some songs massage my brain but others molest it. Let’s see if I feel any smarter after this.

21. Sukima Switch (3) “Kanade”
スキマスイッチ（3）奏（かなで）

Hmm, not really. Pretty standard song about parting and saying goodbye and stuff. Rather lukewarm reception from the audience as well, maybe because the song seems to come to an abrupt end.

22. Natsuko Godai (14) “Fune”
伍代夏子（14）舟

At first glance her kimono seemed rather plain, but once she gets up on the stage you realize it helps he stand out from the girls in the background, so that’s good. Shokotan trying to steal some attention from behind is kinda cringeworthy, though. Tsurube even has a go at her. Forgettable song and performance.

23. Masato Sugimoto (debut) “Waremokō”
すぎもとまさと（初）吾亦紅

One of the hit songs of the year, in the vein of an apology to a late mother from her faithless, neglectful son. Masato Sugimoto had been a singer for decades before Waremoko finally put him on the map. Nice, moving song, though it didn’t turn out to be the massive seller Tsurube predicted in his pre-performance spiel. Maybe a little too sappy even for sentimental Japanese listeners.

24. Amin (2) “Matsuwa’07”
あみん（2）待つわ’07

15 years after they broke up they reunited for this performance. The lady on the left looks like an ex-coworker of mine so I like Amin a lot (lol). This song makes me break out in goosebumps, honestly. Even though I hate the “I’ll wait for you lyrics,” the harmony is just so perfect and simple, I love it. That “Matsu wa” with the echo is just too perfect.

25. Akira Terao (2) “Ruby no Yubiwa”
寺尾聰（2）ルビーの指環

Hasn’t been on Kohaku for 26 years. Ruby no Yubiwa was the No. 1 song for 12 weeks when it was first released. I myself have heard it several times, though not this funkified version which I quite like. This is the first time I’ve bothered to read the lyrics. Apparently his backing instrumentalists are all famous pro studio/session musicians, not that an amateur like me would know them. They all seem to be having a blast up there. My kind of show! *clap clap clap*

26. Ayaka Hirahara (平原綾香) (4) “Jupiter”

The song was a support song for a village/town that was destroyed a few years ago but has now recovered. I prefer the version of this same “Jupiter” tune by Gustav Holst that is set to I Vow to Thee My Country by Sir Cecil Spring Rice. Try to find a version sung by a mass choir at a funeral, I guarantee chills will run down your spine. As for Ayaka Hirahara’s version, it’s decent. Her performances usually come across as a bit lifeless but she’s putting her all in this one, and that counts for something.

27. BoA (6) “BoA Winter Ballad Special”

They’re really rushing their introductions now, it makes me uncomfortable. I tend to like these simpler songs and performances so it’s nice that BoA was given a chance to shine. The song doesn’t do anything for me, though, and I think she’s screeching a bit on some of the notes.

28. Toshihide Baba (debut) “Start Line~Atarashii Kaze”
馬場俊英（初）スタートライン〜新しい風

Naito Daisuke invited to give some comments about perserverance because Baba started his singing career after being fired from his day job at 40. Naito says he tried twice to get the championship and succeeded the third time. Nice song. The teeth are his ‘charm point’ as they say in Japan, and I like his voice. He has a lineup of star backing instrumentalists from Kobukuro and kiroro and someone else, I think?

29. Masashi Sada (さだまさし)(19) “Birthday”

The theme song for a show by Tsurube and he talks on and on about his show and how 13 years ago he and Sada worked together to start the show until the producer comes and shoos Sada onto the stage. Nakai looks on pins and needles until Sada finally starts singing. It’s not that different from the “Kakashi” song he sang two years ago. Some scenes from their road trip or something. Hmm, not really necessary, the song is good enough on its own.

30. Fuyumi Sakamoto (19) “Yozakura Oshichi ~Ōmisoka Special~”
坂本冬美（19）夜桜お七〜大晦日スペシャル〜

Nakai forces the conversation to move on before Tsurube can start warbling and introduces Fuyumi along with a popular Noh actor of some sort. Saotome something. Yozakura Oshichi is my favorite Fuyumi Sakamoto song. She looks good in the delicately colored yukata, despite my preference for more dramatic outfits. An enjoyable performance despite the pointlessness of the crossdresser dancing in the background. Whoa, where did all the other background dancers come from? That’s cool. The sudden appearance, I mean, not those creepy hooded outfits. Nice flourish at the end. Sakamoto is no slouch herself.

More mid-way voting going on, something which doesn’t mean much in the long-term as far s I know.

Izumi Sakai Tsuitō Kikaku, Zard Film Concert Live stream, “Yureru Omoi” “Glorious Mind” “Makenaide”
坂井泉水追悼企画　ZARDフィルムコンサート中継「揺れる想い」「グロリアスマインド」「負けないで」

This was the year Izumi Sakai died after a bad fall suffered while undergoing cancer treatment. I was reasonably familiar with her music. She never performed at Kohaku so this is her way to show up, featuring never before released footage. Glorious Mind is the last song she wrote before she died, though she had about 300 other unreleased songs. Her producers are going to be rich! Someone reads a letter from her? …? Someone pretending to be her. It’s hard to die and have people write whatever they want to about you. Not that you care anyway since you’re kinda dead.

Okay, results of halfway voting appears. White team is winning. There’s a news break, but I don’t have that.

31. Sachiko Kobayashi (29) “Koizakura”
小林幸子（29）恋桜

And now for my favorite Sachiko Kobayashi song. Preceded by young(er) SMAP all teasing Tsurube about wearing clothes this time. Quick shot of Gackt preparing for his stage, then some samurai is sent scurrying off… oh man, now I remember why I stopped watching Kohaku Utagassen.

But yay, Sachiko “Last Boss” Kobayashi singing Koizakura! I love this song. Love her shiny cherry blossom outfit too. I think I’m enjoying myself for the first time since I started this edition. “Anata ni chiritai~!” I wish she would sing the whole song, I like it so much. Whoa, that kaleidoscope behind her is truly blinding. Love it! Last Boss forever!

And then Tsurube and Nakai do something truly dreadful by going forward to try and study the outfit in more detail. That’s just not done, and they really shouldn’t be showing the stage going down and all that. It detracts quite a bit from the magic, which is just not right. I’m sorry, Ms Kobayashi.

32. Gackt (5) “Returner ~Yami no Shūen~Kieyuku Samurai e no Requiem~”
RETURNER 〜闇の終焉〜消え逝く武士（サムライ）への鎮魂歌（レクイエム）〜

Gackt as Uesugi Kenshin. He’s such a drama queen. A bad drama queen, but he seems to be having fun, so good for him. Man… what a drama queen… did I say that already? Whatever, this is fun bad drama. The whole thing is just a long advert for that year’s NHK drama Furin Kazan. And I love Returner, easily my favorite Gackt song. I hope all these samurai extras got paid plenty of money. The double bass player seems to be having a little too much fun, lol. Lip synch away, Gakuto-kun!

33. Ai Otsuka (大塚愛) (4) “Chu-Lip”

Nakai quickly moving the conversation along before Tsurube can start rambling. Uh-oh, doushiyou, I like this song too! I like the part near the end where they go Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi. The crazy outfits just fit the crazy song and mood. Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi.

34. Tokio (14) “SEISYuN” (青春 SEISYuN)

This song was written by Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi, whose music I love. I remember liking this song, but let’s see if my memory was correct. Haha, they pulled out the Tokio leader’s picture from last year, I love that joke. ^_^ Oh yeah, I do like this song. It’s very Nagabuchi-like. The firey background makes it seem even more Nagabuchi. The only catch is, I really want to see Nagabuchi himself sing it. This guy’s voice is too nice (just like Nagabuchi’s used to be before he deliberately ruined it with cigarettes and alcohol, but that’s a story for another day). Anyway, fun song. Shinjiru no sa, towa to mirai to ashita wooooo! Wao, LOVE the flames in the back!

35. Noriyuki Makihara (槇原敬之) (2) “Green Days”

Aragaki Yui, whatever happened to her? Guess she’s still around somewhere. But she says she’s a fan of Noriyuki Makihara. So am I! And I’m a big fan of this song too. Wish they wouldn’t make it so obvious that they’re reading off the teleprompter. I really, really like this tune and his voice and the serious grey suit and the green background and everything. Looks like looking up at a forest ceiling. Very passionate, engaging performance Massugu ni, massugu ni nobiru~

Wahaha, Tomonori Jinnai and Norika Fujiwara back when they were still married. Lovely golden dress on Norika and nice hair and hair accessories.

36. Ayumi Hamasaki (9) (浜崎あゆみ) “Together When…”

“Together when” you stop divorcing them, Ayumi-chan! Simple dress and performance. Boring song and bad voice are the downsides. Aaaaagh, she can’t hold a tune. That’s one person who should really lipsynch. Honest, I don’t mind, please. She broke the chain of great songs I had going on. Boo, hiss. Let’s see if the next one can help get me back in the mood.

37. Kiyoshi Hikawa (8) “Kiyoshi no Sōran Bushi, YOSAKOI no Sōran Kōhaku Special”
氷川きよし（8）きよしのソーラン節 YOSAKOIソーラン紅白スペシャル

Okajima Hideki gives Kiyoshi some advice about working hard at age 30 and stuff. Pointless, I keep saying. Fun song, he seems to be enjoying himself as well. Dokkoisho! Dokkoisho! Whoa, talk about an energetic performance. I would break my back if I tried to dance like that! They do make Yosakoi look fun, don’t they?

38. aiko (6) “Shiawase” (シアワセ)

Oh, aiko. She seems so nice, but her songs are always so boring. I don’t think I have heard a single one I like. A delay in the setup means Nakai and Tsurube has to fill the gap with random chatter. Being a host isn’t easy. Shiawase is the Aiko song that comes closest to something I would listen to again, since it has a catchy beat. I like her hair too.

Some set up going on in the background that we probably shouldn’t be seeing. Tsurube and aiko reminiscing about Tsurube’s birthday party where aiko sang or something like that. They chat so long that Nakai has to interrupt Tsurube yet again.

39. Kumi Koda (3) “Ai no Uta”
倖田來未（3）愛のうた

Kumi-chaaan in an unusually modest and understated outfit – by her standards, anyway. And I quite like this song too. What’s going on? The world is coming to an end, surely! But I’m happy I’m finally enjoying this show so it’s all good. Brilliant smile as always. I think there were rumors about Koda and Nakai dating that year, which is why Tsurube slyly comments about how cute she is afterwards.

40. Hideaki Tokunaga (2) “Koi ni Ochite -Fall in Love-“
徳永英明（2）恋におちて -Fall in love-

Hideaki Tokunaga’s cover of Koi ni Ochite by Kobayashi Akiko, IIRC. I prefer the original especially since she doesn’t have to strain to hit the “te wo tometa” notes. She has longer, sweeter notes too, compared to Tokunaga’s shorter, breathier ones on the last notes of each line. Plus you’re not “just a woman,” Hideaki-kun! Look down! :-p Good song I listen to quite often.

41. Ataru Nakamura (debut) “Tomodachi no Uta”
中村中（初）友達の詩

A man who had his genitals cut off and his gender “reassigned” in the mistaken thought that this would make him a “woman.” Tsurube reads a letter from his mother in a very dull, bland way. At least find someone who can put some emotion into the letter reading. According to wikipedia, Ataru Nakamura’s singing career was going nowhere until he came out about the sex change, then he got some brief attention and then went back to nothingness again. A shame because, criticism aside, it must be said that Ataru has a beautiful singing voice and this is a great song. The final “sore sura ayaui” line actually made me break out in goosebumps.

42. Ken Hirai (5) “Elegy”
平井堅（5）哀歌 (エレジー)

Ooh, another song I like. As long as I don’t listen to the dark lyrics, that is. How long until Tsurube gets interrupted…? He really talks too much. He didn’t get interrupted, but he should have. It was funny at the beginning of the show when he said Hirai Ken would sing a song called “I am Japanese” though. He really does look Middle Eastern, maji de. Very enjoyable performance and great song. I normally watch it two or three times but this time I have to move on. Uuu, zannen.

Special performance: Misora Hibari x Ogura Kei “Ai San San” 特別企画美空ひばり×小椋佳「愛燦燦」

Misora Hibari would have been 70 years old in 2007. Tsurube talks about how when he interviewed other stars they would always gush over Misora, then as usual Nakai cuts him short. Ogura Kei wrote the song Ai San San so he appears together with images of Misora in a sort of pseudo-duet. What a mess alcohol made of her life. Strong drink is a mocker, indeed. I love Ogura Kei’s soothing, steady, nasal delivery too. Beautiful, beautiful show.

The guest has hosted Kohaku before, I believe he said. More comments. Yakushimaru Hiroko is at Tokyo Tower. Very robotic recital of how special Tokyo Tower is to everyone or whatever. At the end of it, the tower will be lit in the colors of whichever side won, IIRC.

43. Saburō Kitajima (44) “Kaero Kana”
北島三郎（44）帰ろかな

I like this version of Kaero Kana. The choir in the background adds some depth, so to speak. Why does Leah Dizon look so tearful? Does she somehow know she will fade completely from the public eye within three years of this show? Masaka. Sabu-chan! I’m a little surprised to see him this early in the show. Great rendition of a very moving song.

44. Yoshimi Tendō (12) “Chindo Monogatari ~Kizuna~”
天童よしみ（12）珍島物語〜絆〜

Hmm, a spiced up version of Chindo Monogatari? What’s with the “Kizuna”? Letter from her mom, She looks like her mother so much, lol. I see, “kizuna” means she lets everyone how powerfully she can sing by singing without backing before the standard instruments kick in. I’m impressed, I didn’t know she could sing like this. But I don’t know about this “exploding butterflies” dress…

45. Kobukuro (3) “Tsubomi”
コブクロ（3）蕾

Blah blah, Tsurube says he wanted his old mom to see him on Kohaku, that’s why he accepted this job. Aw, Tsubrube, you shouldn’t have. No really, you shouldn’t have. He says he’s having fun, and so am I, when all’s said and done.

Tsubomi is the one Kobukuro song I almost like. Overwrought and melodramatic like all the others, but not bad, and hopeful in its own way. They wrote it in memory of one of their mothers, if I understood Tsurube’s spiel correctly. So I won’t be too hard on them.

46. Mika Nakashima (中島美嘉) (6) “Life”

Tired of of standing already? The hosts are sitting down. Even more talking from Tsurube about why he chose to host the show. He’s really boring. He wants to make people in poor areas happy when they see him on Kohaku. Nakai looks bored out of his balding little skull. Talk about a lack of chemistry.

Mika Nakashima standing straight up for a change. Nope, I was wrong, she’s stooping again. Very simple outift, okay song. Meh. But I like the jewelry, the way the flashiness contrasts with the plain white shirt and sheer makeup. Me gusta. Ooh, the camera just wobbled! Someone must have bumped into the camera man.

47. Yo Hitoto (4) “Hanamizuki”

一青窈ハナミズキ

Nakama Yukie! Wasn’t there a rumor of a relationship between Nakai and Nakama? Or something else? Yo Hitoto was in New York during 9/11 and was inspired by the attack to write the lyrics of “Hanamizuki.” Japanese sign language signers interpreting her song in the background. I wonder how it differs from American Sign Language? I’m not really playing attention to the song because that’s the only song Yo Hitoto ever sings so I’ve heard it hundred of times before. Signing the last few lines doesn’t change that, I’m afraid.

48. Masafumi Akikawa (2) “Sen no Kaze ni Natte”
秋川雅史（2）千の風になって

His breakout hit from last year. I already gave my thoughts on it last time, so you can refer to the previous post for that. It’s even sadder that someone has written a letter in about how much they miss their late husband but are comforted because he’s now turned into wind… I’m sorry for your loss ma’am, but your husband hasn’t turned into anything, least of all wind. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Anyway, we’ll leave it at that this time. Akikawa sounds a little dull and muted this time. Or maybe he’s tired from singing that song 300 times a year. Is that door in the back supposed to signify the door of hope opening or something?

49. Dreams Come True (12) “A-I-SHI-TE-RU no Sign ~Watashitachi no Mirai Yosōzu~” (ア・イ・シ・テ・ルのサイン〜わたしたちの未来予想図〜)

Miyazaki Aoi, stop staring so blatantly at the teleprompter. Brief introduction to all the concerts Dreams Come True held that year. Whoa, that’s a lot of people! I’m relieved they’re not singing Nandodemo this year… They seem to be having fun, though I don’t particularly like or dislike this song. S’aight.

50. SMAP (15) “Dangan Fighter Kōhaku SP” (弾丸ファイター紅白SP)

I haven’t been waiting for this. They’re running out of time so again the announcer prods them to get ready for their performance. Well, whatever. Let’s get this over with. What are they wearing, vinyl sheets? No wonder they’re quitting being a boyband, lol. They start out lipsynching “Dear Woman” before moving on to Dangan Fighter… with extra vinyl sheets. And my DVD is skipping again. Oh, it’s fixed. Just when I’d found the perfect excuse to skip this performance ::_:: Boring, boring, song, boring choreography. The plastic makes me want to go on a picnic, that’s about it. Yo gotta power through this performance so you can get to the finale.

Yū Aku Memorial Corner
阿久悠追悼コーナー

Aku Yuu was a famous lyricist who wrote the lyrics of many classics of Japanese pop music in the 70s and 80s. I watched a documentary about him shortly after he passed away, which I thought I mentioned on this blog but I guess I didn’t. They did a good job of making Aku Yuu look good, but also made Yamaguchi Momoe look like a cold witch, to put it politely. Such a good job, in fact, that it took a while for me to warm up to her music.

For our last performances, we have 4 songs written by Aku Yuu, though honestly you could fill the whole show with songs by him, with very good results. Let’s enjoy these last few songs.

51. Akiko Wada (31) “Ano Kane wo Narasu no wa Anata”
和田アキ子（31）あの鐘を鳴らすのはあなた

She’s performed this song many times in many different renditions. I like this particular one, and the stark white dress and simple backing vocals that don’t drown her out – though you would have to wake up really early to drown Akiko Wada out. Those are the girls from Berryz Kobo and C-ute, aren’t they? No wonder they can’t make an impact.

52. Shinichi Mori (40) “Kita no Hotaru”
森進一（40）北の螢

Wooot! A song from Mori Shinichi that’s not Ofukurosan. An excellent song that features regularly on my playlist despite the dire but poignant lyrics. Hooo hooo hotaru, tonde yuke, koishii otoko no mune e ike. Pure and classic, no frills attached, none needed.

53. Sayuri Ishikawa (30) “Tsugaru Kaikyō-Fuyu Geshiki”
石川さゆり（30）津軽海峡・冬景色

Aku Yuu really was the master of the “meikyoku,” and his lyrics were perfectly set to song by songwriter Miki Takashi. And then Ishikawa Sayuri interprets the finished song perfectly as usual. There’s no time for a real introduction, but she needs none. Interesting kimono, though I’m annoyed they rushed the start of the song. How many trees and how much paper was sacrificed to make that fake snow?

54. Hiroshi Itsuki (37) “Chigiri” (Promise)
五木ひろし（37）契り

One of my favorite Japanese songs of all time. I heard it once many, many years ago and it haunted my dreams for ages until I finally found it again and could listen to it often enough to blunt the edge of the effect… or so I’d hoped, but it’s still as powerful as ever no matter how many times I hear it. Great song. Ai suru hito yo, sukoyaka ni. Makes me want to cry. Snf. Beautiful, beautiful.

55. Sekai ni Hitotsu dake no Hana (世界に一つだけの花) → Hotaru no Hikari (蛍の光)

Tch. The show should have ended with Chigiri. SMAP is such a comedown from that. At least they shouldn’t have let Nakai sing. The white team wins and Tokyo Tower is lit… blue?? to celebrate. That final performance by Hiroshi Itsuki alone should have won them the night. But the red team had some good, powerful performances too. And the DVD is skipping again so… That’s enough then. Good show, everyone!

Radio/TV programs for learning Japanese and Cantonese

Why yes, I’m still learning those two languages. My Japanese is leaps and bounds ahead of my Cantonese of course, so much so that sometimes I don’t even notice that I’m reading or listening to something in Japanese because it feels so natural. But I still have a long way to go with spoken Japanese, mostly because I don’t have the chance to speak it often. That’s why I think it’s necessary to listen to Japanese radio and TV as much as possible.

While it’s true you can learn a lot of spoken Japanese from anime, the fact remains that real Japanese people don’t talk as clearly and in turn and in such orderly, sensible sentences. You want real Japanese, you have to listen to regular humans speaking it to other regular Japanese people. Which is where Japanese radio comes in.

In the past I spent a lot of time trying to find various radio stations and switching back and forth all the time (chronicled in earlier articles in this blog), but nowadays I’m busy, to start with, plus there’s much to be gained by sticking to one station (easier to remember the schedule, easier to find favorite programs and announcers, etc), so I have one go-to radio station for Japanese, and one for Cantonese.

FM Castle (Japanese) – You’ll also find it called FM Tanba in places on the internet. It’s a local radio station from Fukuchiyama in Kyoto. You can listen to the broadcast on their website or do like I do and download the asx and add it to your Windows Media Player playlist. You can also listen to them at TuneIn.

What I like about FM Castle is that during the night (Japan time) they play a lot of older Japanese music from the 60s, 70s and 80s, which I really enjoy listening to much more than modern J-Pop. The female singers in the 60s and 70s could really sing as well, beautiful clear voices all around. I keep adding new songs to my mp3 list all the time. Some of the songs are a bit, uhhh, racy though, like the old “Don’t make me take my sailor uniform off” (セーラ服を脱がさないで) songs and stuff, so once in a while I have to mute the station until they sing sometime sensible. During the day they have a lot of talk shows and interviews so you can get your regular listening practice in as well.

RTHK Radio 2 (Cantonese) – Their website stream is working again. RTHK has a lot of radio stations, which is why I have to specify Radio 2. Radio 1 is very boring, all about politics and news and more politics. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Radio 3 is English, I believe, and then some of the other channels broadcast Mandarin only. Radio 2 is the best because it’s mostly Cantonese, and they have a very good mix of music and talk programs. I prefer the music programs like Ngo Ngoi Guangdong Go 我愛廣東歌 (I love Cantonese music) on Sundays and San gwong dai yat sin 晨光第一線 and Hing Tam Chin Cheung Bat ye Tin 輕談淺唱不夜天 at night. Very lively conversations during the day.

Guang Dong TV (Cantonese) – I don’t watch this too often, because somehow I always tend to tune in when they’re giving the news. The newscaster usually speaks in Cantonese with a Mandarin accent and a lot of Mandarin words (has to be heard to be believed) but when they interview people, those people almost always speak Mandarin so I really can’t follow along much.

Once in a while I’m lucky to watch when there’s a drama on, which is usually interesting, but then I forget to tune in the next day and then it’s back to square one. What I need to do is find the TV schedule and pick a few programs to follow. Must put that on my To Do list.

Downtown DX & Honma Deka? (Japanese) – The Japanese TV shows I used to watch to get my listening practice in. I usually just get my episodes from Youtube and don’t really care too much whether they’re in broadcast order or not. Recently I’ve stopped watching them, though. I dunno, they just seem so trivial and superficial to me. What this “talent” is wearing, what that talent ate, and the tips and ‘research’ presented on Honma Deka is always spurious and poorly-researched at best, often selected for shock factor rather than usefulness. So I’m actually on the hunt for interesting Japanese programs is anyone has any to recommend.

So that’s the learning situation right now. I can say for sure I learn a lot from listening to Japanese radio, probably because I understand about 95% of what they’re saying already. With Cantonese I just enjoy hearing it spoken, but it would help if I backed up my listening with further studies. I’m working on a new Anki deck featuring actual spoken Cantonese instead of textbook examples, I’ll talk about it one of these days. Until then, that’s the progress I’m making!

57th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2006 edition)

All right, time for another Kohaku rundown! I meant to do one every month, but I was just too busy in May and June so it had to be postponed. The 57th Kohaku Utagassen episode (第57回NHK紅白歌合戦) aired on December 31st 2006. I was still a fan of the show at the time, so I watched it barely a day or two later and have watched it three or four times since, usually back-to-back with the 56th.

The show starts with a cheesy montage about love and then the hosts show up to introduce themselves. Nakama Yukie and Masahiro Nakai. I remember her being very nervous. This was before Nakai hosted the show so many times I got sick of him. He looks pretty young here but then that was almost 10 years ago. Wow, already?!

All the guests show up on stage like they always do. Watch your steps, ladies. The announcers Kurosaki Megumi and Miyatake Tamio show up. We’ll skip all the talking bits. Nobody watches Kohaku for the talking. On to our opening performance!

mihimaru GT (debut) “Kibun Jojo” – I’d heard that song in Ouendan 2 already, and I was still excited about the game back then, so I enjoyed this performance. Listening to it again… it’s fairly catchy but nothing special. Not sure how good a choice this was for the opening performance. It must have been a mega-big hit. “Everybody crap your hands? Indeed.

Sorry for the poor quality of the screenshots. I got a low-quality video way back and never bothered to get something better. Now I doubt I’d find anything higher quality so I won’t even bother looking.

w-inds. (5) “Boogie Woogie 66” – I like this song. It’s better than last year’s song, at least. Their dancing skills seem to have improved a bit as well, though the attempts at “breakdancing” and an air toss were almost embarrassing to watch. This rap is terrible, though. The other guests look a bit bewildered.

BoA (5) “Nana Iro no Ashita ～brand new beat～” – BoA-chan! I’m not a fan, for the record, and this song does nothing for me, but I respect her for working hard in another country. Ganbatte!

Toba Ichirō (19) “Kyodaifune” – The Ultraman Brothers come to support him and WaT is tasked with translating. This is so stupid. Toba looks half embarrassed and half amused. I like this song, though. The Gospellers are in the background waving flags. Whatever for? And what does this song have to do with Ultraman? It’s interesting how the presenters are putting the names of each performer’s home prefecture below their names. Good for foster a bit of local pride, innit?

Nagayama Yōko (13) “Kizuna” (along with Kageyama Tokinori) – Kageyama is the writer of the song she is singing. I don’t like his voice. He’s probably not a professional singer… or is he? He looks a bit nervous. I’m too lazy to look it up and this song isn’t that nice. Please end quickly. And enough with dragging the other guests out to wave hankies and flags in “support”. It’s silly and most of them look like they’re barely putting up with it.

SEAMO (debut) “Mata Ai Masho Kōhaku Mix” – Yay, Seamo! Apparently he did a rap version of Sada Masashi’s Kanpaku Sengen song and they get to know each other that way. This performance is a medley of his Lupin the Fire rap song, which is really nice, and his song ‘Mata Aimasho’ which is nice enough. Like, I wouldn’t listen to it outside of Kohaku ‘cos it’s just your average breakup song. But Lupin the Fire I like.

Introduction of guests. Yeah yeah, whatever.

Sakamoto Fuyumi (18) “Iwai Zake” – She made a song about Matsuyama in Ehime, and Fuyumi Sakamoto made a song about an island called … something. Nakajima town, I think. She went to visit them too. So they’re being linked by live broadcast so they can cheer her on. That’s nice. I love Sakamoto’s kimono. She always wears the best kimonos. The skin on her neck looks a bit taut. Face lift? Or just me being mean? >:-D

This particular song hmm, haa, it’s okay. Your standard enka song. What, did this Taka Takashi write every Enka song in existence? I see his name all the time.

Kitayama Takeshi (2) “Otoko no Kobushi” – Introduced by his mentor Kitajima Saburou, who praises him a lot. They talk so much that the song starts playing to force them to quit talking. The Japan Karate Association is behind him to support him. Whatever for? Haa… Decent song, though it doesn’t really make use of Kitayama’s powerful voice. I believe in writing songs to suit the singer’s voice and abilities, but what would I know?

GAM (debut) ＆ Morning Musume (9) “Thanks!, Aruteru, 2006 Ambitious Version” – My usual pee break song, but this time I’m going to listen to it. Great Aya & Miki, a team of Aya Matsuura and Miki… I dunno her name. Fujimoto, the internet tells me. Remember, this is back in 2006 when Morning Musume was still relevant. Not an AKB8 in sight. How things change in 9 years. I spent the time staring at the flat tummies to inspire me to exercise a bit.

Aqua Timez (debut) “Ketsui no Asa ni” – Short lead singer is short! Young-looking Kusanagi is young-looking! I quite like this song, though I don’t find myself humming it or anything. But it’s nice, especially the little “Yes!” in the beginning and the guitar.

Fuji Ayako (15) “Yuki Shinshin” – Best song of the night and the best Fuji Ayako performance I’ve seen. The rising from the ground, the spotlight the falling ‘snow’, the stark hairstyle, the lovely purple kimono, the passionate performance of a great song, the mischevious little smile when she sings ‘demo’… Everything about it is just wonderful. I normally rewind it and watch it two or 3 times, but this time I’ll move on.

Hosokawa Takashi (32) “Naniwabushi dayo Jinsei wa” – Haha! He forgot his line! He was busy macking on Sakura Yokomine in the audience, of course he would forget his line. Next time focus on your singing. We learned this song in Japanese class, so I like it a lot, though I don’t usually sing along. This time I’ll sing. Onna no, onna noooooo jinsei waaaaaa!

Minna no Uta 45 Years! Kids Show – The usual random Kohaku special corner. Minna no Uta is a children’s program I’ve never watched so I’m not really moved. Around the 51-minute point? Okay I’ll see if there’s anything I can teach my nephews and nieces. Hmm I like the hamehameha song. I like the Computer Obachan song too. The rest is random children running around the stage.

It must be hard to be a Kohaku guest. Well, this guy actually managed to breakdance effectively… though that simulated snot is hard to look at. Count yourself lucky I’m not taking a screenshot of it. All right, you’ve had your 5 minutes… wait! Get out of the audience! Go home! Haaaha! The audience looks bewildered, but maybe it was a planned interruption? I dunno. Either way Okamura Takeshi is enjoying his 15 minutes in the Kohaku spotlight.

Suga Shikao (debut) “Progress” (along with Kōkua) – How do I act cool, asked Suga Shikao. Another case of “not a bad song” but I wouldn’t listen to it outside of this program. I like the instruments. And his foundation. Where do I buy foundation that makes my face look this smooth? I refuse to believe it’s the magic of youth.

Godai Natsuko (13) “Kinmokusei” – Koda Kumi’s kimono is pretty but her overtanned skin and crazy hairstyle just don’t go with it. She should have picked something lighter and simpler. Natsuko Godai never lets me down kimono-wise…. oh my, that’s a particularly lovely one. I want that one! This is a nice song. It has largely same tune as all the other female enka songs we’ve heard today, at least at first, but I like the shift at the end. I hate “I’ll wait for you forever” lyrics though. You have only one life, don’t waste it waiting for someone who doesn’t want you.

Horiuchi Takao (17) “Itoshii Hibi” – The intermediary convo was just too awkward and unnatural. I had to mute it. Another song I really like from this Kohaku. Sankyuu, Horiuchi Takao! Orokana mono da to waraimasu ka? Itoshiki hibi nooo hakanasa wa. Great lyrics, great song. Sankyuuu!

Hirahara Ayaka (3) “Chikai” – Shizuka Arakawa fresh off her surprise gold medal win in figure skating. This song was used for the Torino Olympics broadcasts. Probably the only Hirahara song I like, maybe because it somehow works with her breathy style of singing. The power ballad style with the theme of striving for something goes well with breathing hard, as if to say “I’m really trying, aren’t I?” So it works. I can really feel the emotion watching the scene of Arakawa skating and showing off the gold medal. Congratulations!

Mikawa Kenichi (23) “Sasori za no Onna 2006” – I can see the producer signalling the people introducing it to cut things short. This is the start of like 3 or 4 years of Kenichi Mikawa singing the same song in increasingly fancy outfits. This was the first time I’d seen it so I was slightly impressed. If only I’d known the horror to come… Apparently he got some famous guy to do this choreography. Huh.

Otsuka Ai (3) “Ren’ai Shashin” – Ahh, I’m really sick of these intermissionary skits. Not a bad song.

Kōzai Kaori (14) “Saihoku Kōro” – Another beautiful kimono. More understated than Sakamoto’s but beautiful in its own way. I like her hairstyle too. But I’ve never thought much of Kozai Kaori’s singing voice and this song is just the same enka tune as all the rest.

Orange Range (2) “Champione” – Orange Range performing live from Okinawa. Very forgettable song.

Natsukawa Rimi (5) “Hana” – Okay song, nice old song, but I was busy talking to a drop-in guest and couldn’t focus on it. The guy playing the ukelele seemed to be enjoying himself a bit too much.

Fuse Akira (22) “Imagine” – I like Akira Fuse and his voice, but this ‘Imagine’ song is meh. There is a heaven, and the only way we will have peace is when Jesus comes as the Prince of Peace to judge and rule the earth, not when sinful human beings decide to make it happen. Which they can’t and won’t. Imagine there’s no heaven, eh? John Lennon knows there is one by now. He’s not there, though, sadly enough.

Mori Masako (15) “Bara Iro no Mirai” – Ex-wife of Mori Shinichi. She got divorced from him that year though she naturally avoids mentioning it in her little interview. I like this song a lot. It works best together with the rose stage design and the violinists instead of independently as an mp3 though. She sings the wrong lyrics from the one the screen at some point, but I’ll be nice and pretend I didn’t notice.

Maekawa Kiyoshi (16) “Nagasaki wa Kyo mo Ame datta” – Lovely song, everyone looks nicely aged. They said that Cool Five was only reforming for tonight-only to honor their late leader Uchiyamada Hiroshi but I guess the performance went down a treat because they performed together again the following year. I like the way Maekawa digs into the ‘kokoro, kokoro midarete’ line.

BONNIE PINK (debut) “A Perfect Sky” – I know her for making a song for Rurouni Kenshi IIRC but I’ve never listened to her other music. This is pretty catchy. She’s looking really cute tonight. Some Google photos of her make her look very euhhhh… I hear Bonnie Pink speaks good English (if nothing, her pronunciation of “I’m looking for a perfect sky” is flawless), which may be why they had a little segment with Eigo de Shaberanaito, an English-learning program before her performance. Amusing, but kind of pointless. I should be used to things like this by now though.

Gospellers (6) “Furusato” – Yoshida Miyako, a ballerina comes in to introduce the place and had some forced conversation about how much she missed Japan when she was abroad. Then Gospellers come out and butcher a song even worse than they did last year. Who keeps inviting them?

Ishikawa Sayuri (29) “Meoto Zenzai” – Ahh, another beautiful kimono. I want them all. Plus the hair decorations which probably cost another arm and leg. Sweet song about happy married love, which is lovely and rare. Of course Amagigoe is my favorite Ishikawa song but I like the lyrics of this one better. Not a particularly memorable song though. Uses the same tune as all the other enka songs, for one thing.

Mori Shinichi (39) “Ofukuro-san” – Aiiiieee! Ofukuro-san again! The first time I watched this I remember thinking, hmm that’s a bit odd. Didn’t he sing this last year? not knowing he would perform it again the following year. I like the song but Mori Shinichi has much better songs out there, which he will sing in other years. Nice fake tears, bro. Nice lip gloss. And nice black hair dye too or is that just kicking puppies at this point?

Btw, I hear the composer of the song was pissed at Mori for adding the little intro he did at the beginning. The intro didn’t add much to the song but at least it was a change from the same old, same old. I’m inclined to side with Mori on this one.

That’s the end of the first half of the show. Now people are being invited to vote for 30 seconds, interim voting. I don’t know how it will affect the final results since it won’t be announced immediately. The show resumes with a performance from Ayaka.

Ayaka (debut) “Mikazuki” – Yah… I rather like this song, but again not enough to listen to it on its own. And I dunno what she’s doing with that hand thing… pointing to the moon? Dunno. Btw I watched this with my sis once and that’s where I first learned about the spray-on foundation that the stars use especially on places like armpits and legs to make them all smooth and pretty and stuff. The things you learn from big sisters, eh?

The results of the voting… one ball each… this is so stupid…

WaT (2) “5 Centi.” – At least their mic didn’t fall down this time. It’s not a bad song, but very ‘high school boy band’ songish which I guess is the impression WaT wants to give. Why do Wentz’s eyes keep swimming like that? Pick something to look at. They haven’t released anything in 5 years so that must be it for WaT.

Hmm, I don’t know Uzaki Ryudo or his wife so that means nothing to me. He seems like a funny guy. Oya oya? According to Wikipedia he composed Jero’s Umiyuki. I know that song!

Hamasaki Ayumi (8) “Jewel” – Interesting dress. I know someone who would love to wear something like this at least once. Fashion, eh. The song is typical Hamasaki fare but she starts out not screeching plus she has only a piano accompanying her instead of instruments. It actually sounds nice for the first 30 seconds. Until she gets to the chorus. The chorus…

Sukima Switch (2) “Boku Note” – Haha funny joke about not losing when it comes to big hair. Then an explanation of the name of the duo. This time the introductory conversation went quite smoothly. Are those little kiddies playing the violins? No, regular-sized human beings sitting down. I like the song but I don’t know if this voice works with it. But it would be a boring ordinary song with an ordinary voice. Hmm, I dunno.

Nakashima Mika (5) “Hitoiro” – The funny outfit is from the Nana movie. I think Nakashima makes a great Nana. She has the dark gloomy look down pat in contrast to Reina, plus she can actually sing so it makes sense for her to be the lead singer of a band. I like the song, though it does betray its Glay roots. “Ima kimi no tame ni~” Her weird crouching stance is also part of the Nana thing, I guess? But I’ve seen her stooping at other times, so maybe that’s just her style. I’ve listened to this song several times since, ‘cos I just like it.

TOKIO (13) “Sorafune” – Ah, another of my favorite songs of the night. I love the kimono, and this was a pretty funny skit at the beginning when they looked at the picture of their leader. I love Fujiyama Naomi’s kimono, did I say that already? Haha, SMAP taking a dig at TOKIO, that’s rich. Thanks to this song I became a big fan of Nakajima Miyuki (composer/writer) and this song is still in my regular playlist even now. So catchy. Sooooono fune wo koide yuke! He sings it like ‘pune’ but whatever. Probably has to sing it that way to get the word out clearly, singing tricks and all that. Yoi yo toshi o!

2006 Super Review -Blaaaaaahhh I hate these thinnngs. Kyaiin is no longer popular I guess? I haven’t seen them for a while. Hoshino Aki! Where did she go? I haven’t seen her in a while either! She looks horrible in her Wikipedia picture. Blah, whatever. Let’s just sit through this. Whoa, the living skipping rope was interesting. I see, so this is when maid cafes started catching on in Akihabara. That’s been a while eh? Wada Akiko in a maid outfit… Aieee. SMAP is lip-synching. I know because they almost sound decent.

aiko (5) “Hitomi” – She seems like such a nice girl but I just don’t like her music. *sigh* This is making me sleepy.

Porno Graffiti (5) “Haneuma Rider” – This was amusing. A couple who liked Porno Graffiti and the guy supposedly looks like the guitarist… He does looks like him a bit, I guess. The song is catchy. Really catchy. And I like that jacket.

But who’s the Ayumi Hamasaki look-alike? Sakurazuka Yakkun? Oh ho! I saw a staff member behind him giving the audience cues! Anyway, Sakurazuka’s 15 minutes of fame must be up by now… whaaa? He’s dead? Oh my. Well, RIP I GUESS.

Kobayashi Sachiko (28) “Ōedo Kenka Bana” – Saa! Saa! Saa saa saa saa! The outfit is just flashy but not particularly special, but I like the song. The steam? And the thing at the bottom? It’s supposed to be a volcano? I’m confused… And now Nakai is teasing her. Hahaha.

Za Touch… Uh… Whatever.

DJ Ozma (debut) “Age Age Every Knight” – …those nude body suits were over the top. I was really enjoying the Bounce with me! Bounce with me! song but they went too far… Just too vulgar… I can’t imagine what was going trough the minds of the audience as they watched this. I believe DJ Ozma when he says NHK was in on the whole thing, then disowned him when things went bad. That’s corporations for you. Yeah baby waku waku!

Angela Aki (debut) “Home” – Nice song. It works best with the piano-only, doesn’t sound so special with instruments. But again not something I would listen to outside of Kohaku. Take your lips off the mic, it’s unclean. Another artist I haven’t heard anything of in a while. Fame really is fleeting.

Sada Masashi (18) “Kakashi” – I missed what Goro-chan and Nakai were talking about. I like the message of this song – It sounds just like my mom, even when we’re gone for just one day – but it’s so long it puts me to sleep a bit. A bit, heheh.

The weather report? That’s so … I’m not going to bother commenting any more. Like, who CARES about the weather tomorrow at a late-night concert? Besides the whole Japan is going to be sunny so there’s really no point. Ack. Btw I like Nakama Yukie’s curtain-dress. It’s… curtainy.

Mizumori Kaori (4) “Kumanokodō” – Aha! Another long dress to hide the platform shoes eh? This would make a nice wedding dress. The song itself is just like all the other enka songs before it. It doesn’t show off Mizumori’s excellent range but nobody expects range from an enka song.

Hikawa Kiyoshi (7) “Ikken” – I like the stage background for both songs. I had a dream with a huge moon like that in it. It was kind of fun. Uhh the song? It’s okay. My comments are getting a bit shorter partly because I’m sleepy and partly because the second half has been rather dull. Hikawa’s perfectly-coiffured hair doesn’t go very well with this particular kimono. Needs a little more wildness.

Imai Miki (debut) “PRIDE” – This year the performer who is famous but has never appeared on Kohaku is Imai Miki, supported by her husband Hotei Tomoyasu. I know him because of Ouendan, but this is the first time I’d heard of Imai. I haven’t listened to any of her other songs but this song definitely deserves the title ‘meikyoku’. It’s a real classic, and her voice is as beautiful as on the single. If I’m not mistaken, they also let her sing the whole song instead of a truncated version. Very good choice, NHK.

Tokunaga Hideaki (debut) “Kowarekake no Radio” – Another first, another great discovery for me. I hear he was super nervous coming out there, which is probably why Nakai is being so encouraging. Lovely, lovely song, another one I tend to rewind and watch a few more times. Very unusual voice, well-used. I like so many of his other songs too, but don’t care too much for his covers of female artistes. This performance must have gone over as well with the audience as it did with me, because Tokunaga has appeared on a lot of Kohaku’s since then. I like the slight change he makes with the ending versus in the single version.

Aha… an apology for DJ Ozma’s performance. It’s not really an apology, though. More like an explanation: they weren’t naked, they were wearing body suits! Uhh yeah, but they were body suits painted to look like nude bodies soooo… hardly any difference really. The real apologies would come later in the week once NHK realized people wouldn’t let it drop. The issue even got a small article in my local paper thousands of miles away.

Wada Akiko (30) “Mother” – Mazaaaaaa! I like this song too. I don’t know about this Riri Franky guy who introduced the song. Hmm. But I really like this song. Wada works best when she’s letting her voice work with few frills or stage props. Nice simple stage, simple dress just letting the song speak for itself. Good one.

Akikawa Masafumi (debut) “Sen no Kaze ni Natte” – Lovely performance, great graphics. Unfortunately the song is nice but the message is completely wrong. It’s human nature to want to think there’s something better for everyone after death, but in truth this only applies to anyone who has put their faith in Jesus Christ. We don’t turn into ‘wind’ or ‘light’ or anything when we die. We don’t just ‘sleep’ either. We die and go on to eternal reward or eternal punishment, each and every one of us.

And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment, so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him. (Hebrews 9:27-28)

He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. (John 3:18).

I pray for missionaries in Japan all the time. People need to hear the truth.

Tendō Yoshimi (11) “Inochi no Kagiri” – They seem to be running out of time because there’s no real introduction for this one. Tendo channeling the late Misora Hibari with her outfit. Yet another identical-sounding enka song. I like what the girls with the umbrellas are doing on the round stage, simple but very cool. But I’m a little depressed when I think that everyone on the program is going to hell if they don’t repent. Now I remember why I stopped watching these shows for a while.

Kobukuro (2) “Kaze” – Haa… Not really a Kobukuro fan. This one isn’t bad. And again I like songs with simple accompaniments. No covering up your inability to sing with flashy effects.

Koda Kumi (2) “Yume no Uta” – Koda Kumi! I hear she has a summer-themed album coming out soon. I like this song, and I remember really liking her nails when I first saw this though I don’t remember why now. You wouldn’t be able to open anything with those. The body paint and glitter effects are interesting too, though to be honest it’s more like the whole outfit was painted on. Is that tissue paper wrapped around the microphone? Oh brother.

Hiroshi Itsuki (36) “Takasebune” – Bad old man. Songs about illicit romance are bad. Not that he’s the only one to have ever sung one. I generally enjoy Itsuki’s songs, but this is the first time I’ve taken the time to listen to the lyrics of this one. The show is almost over so the stars are lining up on the sides for the last spurt.

Dreams Come True (11) “Nandodemo Love Love Love 2006” – Nandodemo nandodemo! I hear the singer Yoshida lost her boyfriend that year, some kind of brain cancer. Oh here’s there their black backup dancer. I remember him from last year… wait… are those just heavily-tanned Japanese… okay, the black guy is there + the Japanese. Sorry, I just enjoy seeing a variety of skin colors on my screen. There he is!

SMAP (14) “Arigatō” – The only SMAP song I’ve liked enough to listen to a few times in a row. They loook so youuuung!! Well I guess Goro and the young guy haven’t changed much, but Nakai, Kimtaku and Kusanagi look so fresh-faced. I should stop comparing them. None of us look the way we did 9 years ago. Arigatooooooooo! Arigatoooooo~ It’s a good lesson that beauty is fleeting and charm is deceptive (Proverbs 31:30). Man, Nakai’s lack of singing skills must be legendary by now. How on earth did he ever get into a boy band? I like the song. I want to listen to it and look at their fresh faces again >:-D

Miyuki Kawanaka (19) “Futari Sake” – 30 years since her debut. Is it the dress or is Nakama Yukie a little bow-legged? Oh well.The hair accessory goes with the dress. Final performance for the red team. Taka Takashi strikes again! This doesn’t sound as generic as the other enka songs with the same tune. Maybe the happy lyrics and her bright smile make the difference. Ah! I saw you adjusting the kimono! Don’t cry! What happened to the bright smile? No, she was so cute!

Kitajima Saburō (43) “Matsuri” – Sabu-chuwaaan! But then I think, he has only a few years to repent before the end, and then I can’t be as happy. Yama no kami, umi no kami, arigatou? I’ll make it a point to pray for all those on the show tonight. I like the song, of course, plus the lively performances. Haha, look at Akko herding the other ladies like sheep. DJ Ozma smiling like he doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in yet.

Aight, I’m going to skip all the voting stuff. The White Team won! It kind of wasn’t fair to have SMAP and Kitajima Saburo go last, was it? But then all the ladies had to do was bring out people with equivalent star power, and they just didn’t have any that year. Welp, that’s it for 2006’s edition. It’ll be a while before I can settle down to watch the next one, but I’ll get round it eventually, God willing.

Hajimete no Otsukai Bakushou 2014 Special

Hajimete no Otsukai is a long-running Japanese TV show where kids aged between 1-5 years are sent on their first ever errand (indeed the title means “My First Errand”). It can be something as simple as delivering a pencil to someone five minutes away to something as complicated as taking the train or bus somewhere far away to buy some trivial item. Either way the audience gets to watch the children’s progress through hidden cameras and microphones, enjoying their little comments, laughing when something funny happens and cheering them on when the going gets tough.

Hajimete no Otsukai only airs a few times a year, no more than 3, which means that out of all the footage filmed over the year only a few errands are cherry-picked for our viewing pleasure. I used to like the show until I realized a tendency to focus mainly on two types of errands:

1. The type where the child doesn’t want to go and cries and cries and cries but eventually goes anyway. A variant is to have the child soldier bravely on but start crying once s/he returns. Since the errand won’t air unless the child eventually makes a move, you already know the kid is going to go anyway, so milking the tears for drama is just annoying. Plus it makes the parent seem callous for being so desperate to appear on a TV show that they’ll force an unwilling child out into the wild, calling it ‘character development’ and shedding a few crocodile tears of their own to make themselves appear less self-centered and rapacious.

2. The type where the child is either sent very far away or made to carry something ridiculously heavy so they’re struggling every step of the way. This can be amusing when the kid does it to themselves. Boys tend to fall prey to this the most – Mom will tell them to buy one can of milk and they’ll buy 3 just for the kicks. May be combined with type 1 for maximum crying.

There’s a third type, where a cute kid just goes on a normal errand with some minor happens and comes back without much fuss or tears. This was more common in the older episodes I’ve watched, even up to about 3 years ago, but now they make up the minority of stories on a typical episode these days. Even when you think you’ve been spared, there might be a tearful ‘surprise’ at the end.

As you can figure, I didn’t enjoy the 2014 Special too much. The tears were just too manufactured, especially on the part of the studio audience. They even went to the extent of finding a kid whose mother had cancer and sending the kid to the hospital alone. I skipped that errand. It was just too tasteless. Then there was a sweet one where a child goes to a pottery festival and meets all kinds of people along the way… but then her mother cranked up some of the fakest tears I’d ever seen and made the poor girl cry as well. Another fun one had two brightly-dressed brothers in a high-class shopping mall… and at the end the little brother started to bawl. It’s not Hajimete no Otsukai unless kids are crying, I guess.

Then there was a long boring bit showing the first errand of one of the boys. One of the Kameda boxing champion brothers… Tomoki? From 18 years ago, it wasn’t aired when it was originally shot because it was just too boring, and it hasn’t improved with age. Then there was the usual mix of Type 1 and Type 2 errands, nothing really worth remembering.

Maybe the show always was this chockful of forced sentimentality – an errand from about 20 years ago had a poor boy carrying a ridiculous heavy bundle of firewood, for one thing. Maybe I’m the one who has changed from when I started watching the show. Having a lot of nephews and nieces born one after the other in the past few years has made me pay more attention to children and their safety.

For example I remember an episode where a mother made her 2 year 10-month old son ride a bus a long distance away. Now that I have a nephew around that age, I’m horrified at the very idea. He’s just a baby! What if something happens to him? Don’t stand on the balcony crying, run down and get him! Right now the errands I enjoy most are the ones that keep children away from main roads, that make them go reasonable distances for their age (almost none of them) and that have happy, willing kids running errands they’re excited about.