62nd Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2011 edition)

Welcome back to another rundown! This time it’s the 62nd edition of NHK Kohaku Utagassen, which took place on December 31st 2011. That means I still have 7 more editions to watch to catch up to the current series, not to mention the next one is happening in just over a month! There were a few good performances that stuck with me in the last one I watched so I have high hopes for this one too.

The presenters are Mao Inoue and Arashi (ugh, again). I don’t know the former and I don’t like the latter so I won’t be focusing too much on them. Instead let’s ignore the boring introduction and get right on with the performances! Oh, the Nadesiko Japan football team was trotted out to say a few words. I’d forgotten about them, but they seem to be doing pretty well since.

1. Ayumi Hamasaki “progress” (13) 浜崎あゆみ

What a horrible night to have a curse… which is listening to Ayumi Hamasaki’s live singing to start a concert. Horrible singing, horrible song, boring outfit, pointless, confusing backup dancing. And at one point she even got slightly ahead of the backing track. Absolutely terrible in every way.

Yeah, punch out the lights so I don’t have to watch this.

2. NYC “100% Yuuki NYC” (3) 100%勇気NYC

They haven’t impressed me in their previous appearances. I don’t think that will change, but we’ll see. I’m really hoping the decline of Johnny’s talent agency will lead to more fresh faces on my Kohaku screen next time I watch it. Come to think of it, this is the last Kohaku I watched instead of merely downloading it for future watching. I can see why I stopped watching the program.

I like the colorful outfits, but the cringey dancing and obvious lip-syncing does nothing for me. Not to mention their own song “Yumetamago” was rubbish and Yuuki 100% is a Hikaru Genji cover. Gimme the original then.

3. Angela Aki “One Family” (6) アンジェラ・アキ

She cut her hair >_< Argh, I’m so jealous of people who can cut and grow their hair at will. I’ve long given up on getting anything past shoulder length. As long as its healthy, right?

Angela Aki was 9 months pregnant at the time of the show, and according to Wikipedia she had a boy in February 2012. The song itself is John Lennon-type “imagine all the people living life in peace” type bland pap. The stuff people clap politely to, but if you really asked them to open their borders to all and sundry, Japan would be the first to revolt. That’s reality.

4. flumpool “Akashi” (3) 証

Since the March 2011 Tohoku earthquake disaster occurred that year, expect more weepy, melodramatic footage of stars touring the scene to show how caring and compassionate they are. I’m not just saying that because I am a soulless scumbag – although I am – but because I really don’t see how showing off on these tours or writing encouraging songs helps the people on the ground. Though I wouldn’t know, having never been in their place. And never wanting to be there either.

ANYWAY, the song was used for the NHK high school choral contest and the backing vocals are from a choir from Tokushima prefecture. It actually sounds like he’s interrupting their nice singing, lol. The song is weepy glurge. Doesn’t stick in my head.

5. AKB48 “Kohaku 2011 AKB48 Special MIX ~Ganbarō Nihon!~” (4) 紅白2011 AKB48スペシャルMIX 〜がんばろう日本!〜

Geh. And of course they have to talk about how often they went to the disaster zone to cheer people up with their songs. Well, as long as it works. Those fluttery skirts are coming off, aren’t they? Yup. And were discreetly collected by the lower peons.

This Kohaku Utagassen introduced a feature where they write messages from the public on the bottom of the screen. They’ve done this in the form of verbal announcements by the announcers in the past, and that wasn’t so bad. The red and white messages are distracting and hard to read unless I pause. I hope they’ll reconsider that in future editions. I’m going to ignore them from now on.

Introduction of the guest judges. Ah so. Koshino Junko is fancy. The guy next to her refused to even bow and barely smiled. What’s his name? Wah, Kotoshogiku. I used to watch him on NHK during the sumo tournaments.

Mana Ashida, Fuku Suzuki “Maru Maru Mori Mori!” (New) ディズニーの仲間たち・芦田愛菜・鈴木福・紅白有志/ディズニー・スペシャル・メドレー

I remember seeing this duo on all the Japanese variety shows back when the song first came out. Stupidly catchy stuff, even now I find myself singing “maru maru mori mori” sometimes. So cute. I even clapped a little at the end.

Of course they trotted out some children from Tohoku for the usual forced feels, but we’ll ignore that. In fact I think I’ll stop commenting on that aspect of the show. To be fair, it would be weirder if the prestigious annual show ignored the great disaster altogether, but trotting people out from the area like monkeys at the zoo feels kind of pointless. Nevertheless, it is what it is.

Then there’s a Disney special which is like, okay. TBH, this Mickey is so manic he actually scares me a little. And Arashi? Srsly. No. It’s too soon. This is supposed to be a children’s special. Pointless comments from SMAP… I’m always baffled by how young they looked back then.

6. Funky Monkey Babys “Soredemo Shinjiteru” (3) それでも信じてる

So far I haven’t found anything super amazing, but apart from the first two performances, I haven’t heard anything horrible either. Ooh, nice camera angle. I can see the wings and the loitering staff. This performance seemed a bit short.

7. Nishino Kana “Tatoe Donna ni” (2) 西野カナ たとえ どんなに…

I like her dress and the chandelier but the song is meh. Yeah, more and more I’m understanding why I stopped watching Kohaku and following the J-music scene.

8. AAA “CALL” (2)

I made any comments I had to about AAA in their debut performance last year. Unimpressive singing and dancing and music, not helped by the baffling camera angles and frumpy outfits. Next!

9. Miyuki Kawanaka “Nirinsō” (24) 川中美幸 二輪草

This song again. I like it but… y’know? I guess you can think of it as a New Year’s tradition or something. And I didn’t care to see AKB48 again, especially not so soon. Their dance is supposed to show “an age gap” which is why they are dancing with these older guys. TBH I don’t know what they’re trying to say… Actually no, I do know. They’re pandering to AKB48’s fanbase of much older guys, letting them live out a fantasy on stage. CREEEEEEPY. GET OUTTTTTTT.

10. Ken Hirai “Itoshiki Hibi yo” (7) 平井堅 いとしき日々よ

So glad that’s over. I like Ken Hirai’s music but he only knows one way to perform. Sticking his hand up in the air, bringing it down, up, down, up, down. Decent song, but not crazy about it.

11. Ayako Fuji “Ayako no Okuni Jiman dayo ~Ganbarona Tohoku!! Kohaku Special~” (17) 藤あや子 あや子のお国自慢だよ 〜がんばろな東北!!紅白スペシャル〜

Fuji Ayako-samaaaaa <3 She’s so pretty. Hey, isn’t that Tokio? Interesting performance introducing the various festivals of Japan, though the song is unexciting. Also did I mention she’s pretty?

12. Takashi Hosokawa “Nebuta” (35) 細川たかし ねぶた

I thought Hosokawa Takashi had been banned from Kohaku by this point. Hey, hey, AKB48 again? Get out! For some reason, this feels like a very “noisy” song, maybe because there’s so much going on, even more than with Ayako’s segment. Nebuta refers to the Aomori Nebuta Festival IIRC.

13. Nana Mizuki “POP MASTER” (3) 水樹奈々

Meh. Actually I went “meh” before even hearing the song, which wasn’t fair. So I’ll save any other comments till the performance is over… Yeah, meh. At least she’s lip-syncing so she doesn’t sound as screechy as usual. I can’t believe she’s become a fixture of Kohaku Utagassen. She must have a powerful agency backing her.

14. Porno Graffiti “One More Time” (10) ポルノグラフィティ ワンモアタイム

Do you really want… what? The sentence needs an object. Very so-so rock song. I like the lead singer’s outfit but that’s about it.

15. Inawashirokos “I love you & I need you Fukushima” (New) 猪苗代湖ズ I love you & I need you ふくしま

A band that happens to come from Fukushima. Coincidence? I don’t care. Just hope the song is nice. Apparently they held some concerts together with Fukuyama Masaharu, making yet another appearance by live feed. Meh.

…I like the song already. It reminds me of some of the older Rock bands like R.C. Succession. It’s the style that I like more than the song itself, but at least I’m enjoying it more than most of the other songs I’ve heard today. Interesting, it’s not “Fukushima” or “Hukushima” but a sound between F and H. Japanese pronunciation is easier than most, but it does have a few tricks to it.

Aha! When the vocalist started screaming, I remembered him at once. The lead singer of Sambomaster. I still remember the “love and peace!!!” screaming from the end of “Sekai wa Sore o Ai to Yobundaze.” Ouendan 2, good times.

16. Natsuko Godai “Kinmokusei” (18) 伍代夏子 金木犀

An ikebana-themed stage. I like it. And love her kimono. Familiar enka song with the usual tune. I like it though. And a calming song is refreshing after all the noise before.

17. L’Arc-en-Ciel “CHASE” (5)

Their 20th Anniversary that year. I was a huge Laruku fan some years ago, still am on a certain level but not as much. They went on a World Tour in 2012? I wouldn’t mind seeing them live sometime. I’m not familiar with this song, though. Let’s see… I rather like it. I would listen to it a few more times at least. Yeah, I’m biased towards Laruku, bite me. Hyde’s wiggling dance is kinda funny. Like a furry black caterpillar, lol.

18. Kaori Mizumori “Shōnai Heiya Kaze no Naka” (9) 水森かおり 庄内平野 風の中

Inspired by a particular prefecture/hometown which was just mentioned but I don’t remember. But that’s where the coach of Nadeshiko Japan was from, so he’s happy about it. I’m just happy it’s not Tohoku this time. Not sure how to feel about this performance. It’s so generic “enka song” and even Kaori Mizumori looks and dresses the same as always. Meh.

19. Shinichi Mori “Minato Machi Blues” (44) 森進一 港町ブルース

His 44th consecutive performance. And it’s a song I don’t know, not Ofukuro-san. Ureshii. Heavy foundation, lip gloss, hair dye. They all do it, but it’s so obvious on him. I like this song, Might even listen to it again sometime.

20. Ringo Sheena “Carnation – Akagumi nara Dare Demo” (New) 椎名林檎 カーネーション-紅組なら誰でも

I’ve heard her name several times before, now I get to see the real thing. Hmmm… That chandelier is still up there? Just because I said it was nice? :-p Oya? There was something under the dress? Huh. Well whatever. I’m not impressed by either song. Why is she getting so much play time? It’s boring. The fake teary look got boring with the first song as well. Next.

Rimi Natsukawa (6), Masafumi Akikawa (4) “Asu to Iu Hi ga” 夏川りみ ・ 秋川雅史 あすという日が

Mao Inoue looks a bit breathless from changing so quickly lol. Anyway, this is the end of the first half of the show, so there’s a minute for voting and an interlude and stuff. I got tired of the music after the first 30 seconds. Rimi Natsukawa is like Ken Hirai, only one furitsuke. The background and Natsukawa are drowning Akikawa a bit, but it works so it’s okay. And who doesn’t like cute babies and maudlin stories?

Just wish there wasn’t so much Mao Inoue in it, ‘cos, like, the babies are way cuter. Why do I have to listen to a whole song about Mao Inoue playing with babies?

WHAT. Red team is winning? Oh yeah, they did win this year didn’t they? Meh. It doesn’t mean anything anyway.

21. KARA “KARA 2011 Special Medley” (New) KARA 2011スペシャルメドレ

KARA’s first appearance on Kohaku… Hahaha, Tendo Yoshimi and Akko and Miyuki Kawanaka. I giggled slightly, though perhaps that reveals the ageist bias within me. And within the Japanese. Boring performance like most idol groups. I know that “Mister” song, one of the few Korean songs I can recognize. And what’s the point of a booty-shaking performance when you don’t have a booty to shake?

22. Hideaki Tokunaga “Jidai” (6) 徳永英明 時代

Korokke says he has come up with a new joke where enka singers like Kitajima Saburo sing AKB48 songs. It might be funny, but I won’t look for it.

Hideaki Tokunaga continuing his career of scoring hits from covers of female singers. This one is “Jidai” a cover of Nakajima Miyuki, one of my favorite singers. So naturally I prefer the harsh and ironic tones of the original. Tokunaga has a softer voice, so his version is more soothing and comforting, which works in a way but nahhh. I like the stringy things in the background, btw.

23. Perfume “Laser Beam” (4) レーザービーム

I wonder who designs their costumes. Too screechy, had to reduce the volume. Boring song, boring dance, only the outfits are interesting. And at my age I only feel sympathy for people who have to dance vigorously in high heels…

24. TOKIO “Miageta Ryusei” (18) 見上げた流星

Kokubun seems to be playing the piano for reals, okay? Oh, it’s the alcoholic pedophile member whose name I can’t remember. What’s going on with Tokio these days? I’ll miss them from my Kohaku even though this song is totally forgettable.

25. Girls’ Generation “GENIE” (New) 少女時代

If they were going to perform, they should have sung “Gee” instead. I like that one. And hate it at the same time. It’s the second K-pop song I know. Dunno which of the girls did the introduction, but her Japanese is really good. So this was when the Hallyu wave hit Japan. Ordinary song, but better than KARA’s.

26. Hiromi Go “Go Smile Japan” (24) 郷ひろみ

Eh. I guess I like the message of “You don’t have to work that hard.” This old man. He’s really energetic for a 51-year old guy. I’ll have to up my game so I can hop around when I’m that age too. Nice dentures too. 2 oku 4 sen man is one his classics. I like it actually. Yay!

27. aiko “Koi no Superball” (10) 恋のスーパーボール

Aiko keeps showing up, but I just can’t get into her songs. Will this be the one that does it for me? … … It’s okay but not blowing me away. That’s the best I can get from her.

28. Yuzu “Hey Wa” (4) ゆず Hey和

The comments from the guest judges aren’t really needed IMO, but this was a bit amusing.

This is the most boring Kohaku Utagassen I’ve ever watched. Enough talking, start singing. Buying time for the staff to set up eh? This had better be worth it… but it wasn’t. So-so song.

29. Koda Kumi “Ai wo Tomenaide” (7) 倖田來未 愛を止めないで

Bad song, doesn’t work with her voice, and the dress is unimaginative. And it’s the same motions for all her songs. Next please.

30. Tohoshinki “Why? (Keep Your Head Down)” (3) 東方神起

Otherwise you’ll get shot? :-p That’s why they’re hopping around all over the stage? What is this I don’t even… Actually I liked the seizure-dancing better than the song. Next! Phew, it finally ended.

And now for a brief interlude of Arashi torture with a piano rescued from the ruins of the Tohoku earthquake. Blahhhh.

31. Ayaka Hirahara “Ohisama ~Taisetsu na Anata e” (8) 平原綾香 おひさま〜大切なあなたへ

J-dramas are so crappy. The acting is so horrible. The skits are pathetic too. Wow, I really hate this show. Why am I still watching? I just wanted some musical performances, not J-drama promotion.

The song is blah, and every shot is people crying and crying. Horrible. Next next next next next!!!

32. Masao Sen “Kitaguni no Haru” (16) 千昌夫 北国の春

I don’t know Masao Sen, so I guess I learned something new. You can read more about him here. I want this show to be over already. Kitaguni no Haru is supposed to be his signature tune, let’s see if I’ll get something download-worthy this time. Hmm, I think I’ve heard it before.

I’ve had enough of this sucky show. Gonna take a break first and come back later. Messages of encouragement from people all over the world. BOOOOOORIIIIIIING. Ohay, it’s Jackie Chan. Fast forward to the next performance.

Or not… Actually I took a whole week off from watching this show because it was so boring. I watched Zeta Gundam instead, which I will totally post about one of these days. It started slow but got better once Kamille stopped being such a… jerk. Yes, jerk is the most polite thing I can call him. And I liked seeing Amuro again.

33. Sachiko Kobayashi “Onna no Sakaba” (33) 小林幸子 おんなの酒場

That outfit must have cost thousands and taken months to construct. The song itself is just a normal enka song. Whoa! I took my eyes off her for a second and this giant dragon swallowed her! Last boss-sama! Whoooaa. This is pretty cool! But again, the song is just normal. It would have been fun to watch live, though.

34. Toshiyuki Nishida “Ano Machi ni Umarete” (4) 西田敏行 あの街に生まれて

He is from Tokushima. Hence the song meaning “I was born in that city.” They’re showing a local program that goes on several times a day, means to cheer the people up. Bread and circuses.

Wow, I like his voice. It’s soothing. Wow, I really like this song, 75% becauase of the voice and 25% because it’s very soothing and pleasant to my stressed ears. Rewind and listen again before moving on…

 

35. Ayaka “Minna Sora no Shita” (5) 絢香 みんな空の下

Boring song. I’m not going to waste a lot of words on dull performances from now on.

36. Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi “Hitotsu” (3) 長渕剛 ひとつ

Ooh, I like Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi. He’s so “trying hard to look cool” all the time, lol. But I’m not familiar with this song. …and I’ll hear it eventually, once he’s done talking for 10 years… It’s so-so. It’s cheap of the camera to go round the crowds looking for people crying, like, a little privacy please? Another boring, overwrought performance, TBH.

37. Akiko Wada “Ano Kane wo Narasu no wa Anata” (35) 和田アキ子 あの鐘を鳴らすのはあなた

One of her famous songs. Oh, I like her dress. And the chandelier keeps getting bigger and fancier. It will take over Japan at this rate. Man, I really like her dress. I like this song, but I have it on mp3 so I’ve heard it tons of times before. I enjoyed the passionate performance, though. And I like her raspier voice these days.

38. Arashi “2011 Kohaku Special Medley” (3) 嵐 2011紅白スペシャルメドレー

Tch. Arashi. I hear they’re calling it quits after 2020. Unlike SMAP I will not miss them.

39. Ikimono-gakari “Aruite Ikou” (4) いきものがかり 歩いていこう

What a hideous dress. It was made from public suggestions, and it shows. Don’t take the public so seriously. Well well, the song without much ado. Hmm… It’s okay. Though the girl just walking in a grim cityscape is kind of depressing TBH. I need to find more synonyms apart from “okay” and “so-so.” Average. Unforgettable. Meh. Looked up and the girl was walking with animals. Ah so.

40. Hiroshi Itsuki “Furusato” (41) 五木ひろし ふるさと

Hai, enough talking. Gimme Itsuki, I like him. Maybe they’re killing time while he’s setting up? Phew, at last. Itsuki Hiroshi, singing this song at Kohaku for the first time in 38 years. Ooh, I like the colorful background, and it’s not as pixelly as it was two years ago. Still a bit blurry though. Where did my favorite chandelier go? I like the song. Maybe it’s because it’s so old, it feels really nostalgic.

41. Seiko Matsuda (16), Sayaka Kanda (New) “Ue wo Muite Arukou” 松田聖子 / 神田沙也加 上を向いて歩こう

Seiko trying to give a boost to her daughter’s career. Doesn’t seem to have worked, since I haven’t heard of Sayaka Kanda becoming a major star by 2019. Let’s see… according to wikipedia she was able to land the dub voice of Anna in Frozen… and that’s it for major achievements. But enough jealousy and trash-talking, how’s the song?

Well it’s Kyu Sakamoto’s classic so I know it already. I think this rendition is too drawn out for a song that is supposed to be upbeat and peppy and sung with conviction. This is more like someone who is trying to talk themselves into feeling good but failing. Too realistic, lol.

BTW I need the number of Seiko-san’s plastic surgeon. Call me, doc, I need you! ^_~

42. Kiyoshi Hikawa “Jounetsu no Mariachi” (12) 氷川きよし 情熱のマリアッチ

This time his theme is Mexico? Omoshiroi. Wahhh, dat outfit. I LOVE IT. I think? The song is boring and the backup dancers are stiff and fake. Kiyoshi, I am disappoint.

43. Fuyumi Sakamoto “Yozakura Oshichi” (23) 坂本冬美 夜桜お七

I like this song a lot too. Used to have the mp3 but must have lost it. And no distracting background singers. Lovely performance, really like it Bueno.

44. Masaharu Fukuyama “Kazoku ni Narou yo” (4) 福山雅治 家族になろうよ

Whoa, what a crowd. Even with the blacked out sections, that’s a huge crowd. So is this guy ever going to show up on the Kohaku stage or will he always be singing via live feed? Welp, he has a few songs I like but I’m not that crazy about him. I take the songs on a case by case basis. And this one is… Unmemorable. Unimpressive. His singing voice isn’t anything special either. Next.

45. Yumi Matsutoya “(Minna no) Haru yo, Koi” (2) 松任谷由実 (みんなの)春よ、来い

Yumin! I like some of her songs, and “Haru yo, Koi” is pretty much her signature tune. Oh I see, everyone’s going to sing together. Her hair style makes her look old and doddering, because it’s too ‘young’. Don’t do this hairstyle again. Ooh, I love Fuji Ayako’s pink dress. I’m singing along since everyone’s supposed to sing too.

 

46. Exile “Rising Sun” (7)

Exile-san-tachi, you guys are looking a bit… up there in years. But fit, man. I can’t dance like that. Of course, the two guys who just sing and never dance are the two main leaders. Actually I enjoy watching Exile-ojisan-tachi perform even though their music is boring, because the dances are so over the top. I hope they don’t disband. Where else would I get jumping ojisan-tachi to watch? Man, if I danced like this, I would be so… dead. But fit. *clap clap clap* I can’t do it so I applaud.

47. Yoshimi Tendō “Ai Sansan” (16) 天童よしみ 愛燦燦

Phew, the hideous pink dress is gone. Why is Mao so breathless? I love “Ai Sansan” though the original performance is best. Tendo Yoshimi doesn’t have a voice powerful or unique enough to pull this one off. She sounds like me at karaoke. Come to think of it, I liked the “duet” with Ogura Kei from a couple of years ago.

48. Saburō Kitajima “Kaerokana” (48) 北島三郎 帰ろかな

Un, kaerou. I like this song, but this whole show has been pathetic apart from a few highlights. But as I said, I like this song, and I’m enjoying this performance. The dramatic choir makes it seem like a song from a movie, haha. Just that the lighting makes Sabu-chan look pale and washed out, so they need to fix that. Great performance. Have I ever mentioned that Sabu-chan looks like my cousin?

49. Sayuri Ishikawa “Tsugaru Kaikyo Fuyugeshiki” (34)

Enough with the self-patting on the back. It’s all fake anyway. One of Ishikawa Sayuri’s staple songs, the other one being Amagigoe. I like the song so this is a good way to close the show for me. I wonder how she does that “aaaa-a” sound.

50. SMAP “SMAP AID Kohaku SP” (19)

Kyaa, SMAP-SAMAAAA. NOT! My opinion of them hasn’t really changed, but now that the band has broken up (until the inevitable reunion concert) I’m actually feeling nostalgic watching them. So affected, ojisan-tachi. No more Nakai-san’s vocals. Such bad singing. Much wow.

I thought for sure they would sing “Sekai ni Hitotsu no Hana” after this. I don’t know this “Original Smile” song but whatever. They should try to hide the syncing a little better.

Finally over. IIRC the Red team won that year. Yup, they won by over 10,000 votes. Dunno why. I bet it was a pity vote because they’d lost for so many years in a row.

Overview

Largely a boring program with many mediocre and forgettable performances. It’s no wonder ratings for the show are declining. And no wonder I stopped watching. But I still found a few likeable gems here and there (esp. Nishida Toshiyuki), and as always I was impressed by the production values and the smoothness of the flow. So I’ll probably watch the next edition, but no telling when. Until then, it’s back to learning Korean for me.

61st Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2010 edition)

This time I didn’t let a year elapse between rundown editions. I think a round of applause is in order.

(pause for applause)

Thank you, you’re too kind. Welp, time for me to rewatch the 61st Kohaku Utagassen (第61回NHK紅白歌合戦). I know I’ve seen it at least once because looking at the titles reminds me of several performances. That’s usually a good sign, but you never know. I think the next one (62nd) was the last one I saw before I quit watching Kohaku. Anyway, let’s get started!

Ugh, Arashi and some woman I don’t recognize. What’s her name? Doesn’t matter. They called out Ishikawa Ryo to introduce the program. He’s the young golfer the Japanese media was making such a big fuss about a few years ago. Whatever happened to him? Googly googly… Hmm, he was doing okay up to 2016, nothing remarkable since.

Introduction of all the performers and then plenty of talking. I don’t like Arashi or Nao Matsushita whoever she is, so I’ll be ignoring most of their banter. Sue me. The two mascots are Kohaku Utagassen mascots, U and Ta. If they really wanted mascots to sell merchandise they should have made them a lot cuter.

1. Ayumi Hamasaki 浜崎あゆみ (12) “Virgin Road” [Note: the number in brackets represents the number of times the person has appeared on Kohaku.]

Really like the dress and the nails, but her hair is so fuzzy and messy. The song was a bit boring at first, but it sort of grew on me by the end. And of course we’ll be nice and not ask “She’s on husband number what now?” In any case I don’t believe singers must live up to what they sing. It’s just another payday in the end. As long as they don’t actually claim to be living what they sing, that is.

2. Exile (6) “I Wish For You”

Have they performed this before? I knew the song already before they heard it. It’s only Exile song I know offhand and can even say I… kinda like? It was a fun performance, actually, and they seem to have added two more people to their frontline? Never seen those two before but they got a chance to lipsync too so they must be major. Good luck, guys.

3. AKB48 (3) “Kōhaku 2010 AKB48 Kamikyokutachi SP” 紅白2010 AKB48神曲SP

“Kamikyoku” should mean “famous songs” but the only song I recognize is Heavy Rotation. On the plus side this is the first AKB48 batch so I actually know a few of their names. Hope they enjoyed their 15 minutes of fame while it lasted. The performance itself wasn’t bad. They must have worked really hard to pull of the choreography well, and the slight perfections are all part of the charm. Huh, I’m in a charitable mood today aren’t I?

Introduction of the guest judges. Noguchi Souichi has been a judge recently, hasn’t he? A few years ago. I like Nakama Yukie’s colorful modern kimono.

4. NYC (2) “Yoku Asobi Yoku Manabe 100% NYC” よく遊びよく学べ100%NYC

They performed the year before and didn’t make an impression on me. It’s the same this year. I even forgot what they sang already. I remember the “100% no Yuuki” they sang afterwards, but not the main song. And TBH it’s a little embarrassing watching them wriggling and writhing around on the stage like that. Next please.

5. Angela Aki (5) アンジェラ・アキ “Kagayaku Hito” 輝く人

Gosh, what an affected show of faux affability. Was this whole emotional meet-and-greet with middle schoolers necessary? Whatevs, how is this year’s song? The song itself is mediocre, but after all the fuss of the last two performances there’s something cleansing about one woman, one guitar, one great voice. So in that sense it was good.

6. AAA (debut) “Aitai Riyū”逢いたい理由

Whoa, what’s with the tacky gold outfits? You’re hurting my eyes. I hadn’t heard of AAA before. Apparently they’re still active now, minus two female members. And they spent a long time as backup dancers and singers so now it’s their turn to shine. Will they? …Nope. That was bad.

7. Mitsuko Nakamura 中村美律子 (15) “Kawachi Otoko Bushi” 河内おとこ節

Exile’s “I Wish” is still ringing through my head. I wish, I wish, I wish for you~ Mitsuko Nakamura seemingly has only one song, which she has sung in the past few years so I’m not interested in hearing it. No, it doesn’t matter how many mascots you use or how many times you trot Tokio out.

8. Flumpool (2) “Kimi ni Todoke” 君に届け

That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to watch the Kimi ni Todoke anime for a long time. Not related to this song though, AFAIK. Three of the members have been buddies since nursery school. Amazing. But doesn’t highlighting that make the fourth member feel like even more of an outsider? I saw the staff member collecting the mic! Anyway, the song. Not particularly good.

9. Ayaka Hirahara (7)平原綾香 “Voyagers”

Matsushita pronounced the song title like “Boyjas” so I didn’t know what it was until I actually saw “Voyagers” on the screen. The song was used as the theme song for a nature program, Darwin’s something or the other, hence all the animal videos in the background. How someone can look at the variety and complexity of nature and say it all just exploded from nothingness and magically ‘evolved’ into what we see now is beyond me. But man will believe anything rather than accept God so it’s no surprise. The song is forgettable. I know that because I’ve already forgotten it. Hai, tsugi.

10. Yusuke 遊助 (2) “Hito” ひと

A lot of returnees from last year’s edition. Yusuke’s father started a band 10 years ago with the goal of making it to Kohaku Utagassen. Would be funny if he ever made it. Yusuke wrote this song for a friend of his who was getting married. It’s all “We’ll always be buddies” kind of song. Just okay. Lots of frozen smiles on the backup dancers.

Special program: “Character Kohaku Utagassen” 企画「キャラクター紅白歌合戦」
1: Okaasan to Issho “Doko no ko no kinoko”  おかあさんといっしょ「ドコノコノキノコ」

Oh, that was surprisingly catchy. A bit of a Slavic influence and all, very catchy. I can imagine liking this as a kid.

2: Kaibutsu-kun (Satoshi Ohno) “Yukai tsuukai Kaibutsu-kun” 怪物くん(大野智)「ユカイツーカイ怪物くん」

So that’s where Ohno has been for the past little while. I so don’t like his face. I don’t suppose he would like mine instead. I remember all the promotion for this movie. …That wasn’t bad either. But the characters are all annoying.

3: Nana Mizuki and Atsuko Maeda and Tomomi Itano (AKB48) “Alright! Heart Catch Precure!” 水樹奈々&前田敦子・大島優子・板野友美(AKB48)「Alright! ハートキャッチプリキュア!」

I saw you guys filing in. I couldn’t get into Precure so it doesn’t matter what they sing. I hope it’s catchy… It actually is. And Nana Mizuki is lipsyncing so she’s not screeching into my ear like last year. Not bad at all.

4: Kazuo Kumakura “Gegege no Kitarou” 熊倉一雄「ゲゲゲの鬼太郎」

Huh. A relatively understated performance, but very creepy and atmospheric, just right for the theme. If I had to pick a winner I’d pick this one, actually. The voice and the footage and the lighting all fit great. Brr.

Welp, that’s finally over. Which side do the “judges” U and Ta prefer? They all did well, TBH. A draw! Yup, that’s fair. Now get off my screen, Ohno.

The guest judge is the Nunoe Mura, widow of the author of Gegege no Kitaro (and a mangaka herself) so she remembers her husband being excited about the anime song when it first came out 40 years ago. That’s sweet. What’s not sweet is the time-wasting involving the cast of Gegege no Nyobo (Gegege’s Wife), a drama based on Nunoe Mura’s autobiography. Fake, forced banter and laughing at nothing.

11. Natsuko Godai 伍代夏子 (17) “Hitori Zake” ひとり酒

The lady with the beautiful smile. Absolutely gorgeous kimono, and I like the song too. It’s the standard enka stuff, but the “chibiri chibiri” part is nice. And look, it’s Minami Minegishi with a full head of hair! Nyeh heh heh. Actually I saw her on Downtown DX not too long ago with hair on her head, but I couldn’t resist one little dig.

12. Takashi Hosokawa 細川たかし (34) “Naniwabushi da yo Jinsei wa” 浪花節だよ人生は

That’s quite the glittery hakama he’s got on there. And the top is shiny too? Sugoi. He didn’t forget the lyrics this time. So pointless having AKB48 in every performance. This is what the J-netizens called gorioshi – forcing a celebrity down the audience’s throat until they become popular. It certainly worked for AKB48.

Ah, now I see why Matsushita Nao was wasting so much time talking. She was buying time for Arashi to change. And now they’re buying time for her. Hello there, young-looking Kusanagi-kun. The mascot is for getting everyone to switch from analog to digital television. Japan has a mascot for virtually everything. We’ll just ignore Shingo by his side.

13. Porno Graffiti (9) “Kimi wa 100%”君は100%

The lead singer Akihito likes to climb towers so he’s looking forward to the opening of the Tokyo Skytree. Oh, the stage background changed a bit too. Just a bit. The song isn’t one Porno Graffiti’s better ones. It wasn’t funny when he fluffed the lyrics too, ‘cos he just plain fluffed them. It’s only funny if the singer makes an error because he was ogling pretty girls like Takashi Hosokawa or because Downtown was needling him like T. M. Revolution.

14. Kana Nishino 西野カナ (debut) “Best Friend”

I know I’ve heard her name somewhere, but… turns out I know her face too. What I don’t know is her voice and her music. Nice red dress BTW. It would look nice on me. My address is… j/k. I was worried when the camera zoomed in for an upskirt shot (whyyy?) but luckily she’s wearing red bloomers. The song is the kind of thing I might have liked at 15, listening to it with my “best friends” who I don’t even know where they are these days.

15. Funky Monkey Babys (2) “Ato Hitotsu”あとひとつ

The height difference between Tanaka and Sabu-chan is something else, haha. Generic “do your best” Japanese pop song. I can’t even remember the tune now.

16. Miyuki Kawanaka 川中美幸 (23) “Nirinsou” 二輪草

This song agaaaain? I like it but agaaain? The people who came to cheer her on are her co-stars from a TV show called Teppan. Never seen it. The kimono is a bit busy. Not as busy as the backup dancers though. What’s with 90% of performances having 20 people hopping around in the background? Maji uzai.

17. HY (debut) “Toki wo Koe”時をこえ

The obligatory “No more war” section of Kohaku Utagassen. HY is a group from Okinawa with a song based on stories told by the lead singer’s grandmother, who was 12 years old at the end of World War II. Commendable message but I can’t remember the song any more. Yes, already.

18. Kumiko クミコ (debut) “Inori” INORI〜祈り〜

Haunting, haunting song. I remember this one stayed with me for a long time after I watched it all those years ago. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about Sadako terrified of death, folding those cranes day after day hoping they could save her. If only someone had been able to share the gospel with her.

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. (Hebrews 2:14-15)

If you’re reading this and you’re afraid to die, you don’t have to be. Jesus Christ has conquered death and the grave through His death on the cross. John 11:25-26: Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” I hope you do.

19. Kaori Mizumori 水森かおり (8) “Matsushima Kikō” 松島紀行

I have NO idea what W Colon is talking about. None at all. Mizumori with another long dress hiding her platform heels and another generic enka song. I actually enjoyed the song more when I took my eyes off the screen and just listened. The gymnasts behind her are just too distracting.

20. Hideaki Tokunaga 徳永英明 (5) “Toki no Nagare ni Mi wo Makase” 時の流れに身をまかせ

A cover of Teresa Teng’s classic song. Tokunaga released a cover album of songs by female artists and he’s been living pretty off that ever since, but TBH I like his own songs better. Not to mention Teresa Teng is a tough act to follow.

21. Nana Mizuki 水樹奈々 (2) “Phantom Minds”

Sounds like the theme song from an anime I would drop after one episode, lol. Her singing (syncing?) has improved from last year so it wasn’t a bad experience.

22. L’Arc-en-Ciel (4) “Bless”

“Bless” was the NHK theme song for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver that year. Eeee, it’s L’Arc en Ciel~~~ …is how I would have reacted 10 to 15 years ago when I used to buy all their albums. I still have them actually but I only listen to a few songs now. It’s good to see them on the stage though ^_^ Hyde, you’re syncing aren’t you? No way you’re hitting those notes so clearly with your smoked-out voice these days. Oh, he’s burning the higher notes a bit, haha. Just as expected. Okay song, but I was really happy to see Laruku.

23. Yoshimi Tendo 天童よしみ (15) “Jinsei Michizure” 人生みちづれ

Hmm, I see what Ayanokouji Kimimaro did there, but it wasn’t that funny. The audience seems to agree.  It’s just a typical enka song, but somehow I really enjoyed this one. Even the little “rurururururu” at the end was great. I think my charitable mood from earlier is back.

24. Shinichi Mori 森進一 (43) “Erimo Misaki” 襟裳岬

Erimo Misaki! I like this song! It was written by folk singer Takuro Yoshida, who doesn’t appear on Kohaku himself because of reasons (possibly involving a fight with Akira Fuse). I know all this because I’m a huge fan of Takuro Yoshida. I used to own several of his albums too, until they were stolen or misplaced. That said, Shinichi Mori’s version of Erimo Misaki is just perfect, his voice and singing style just nail the lyrics perfectly. This should be good… And it was. Though his lipstick and too-young hairstyle were a little distracting. And the background chorus was unnecessary.

The white team won the first half, which is just about right IMO.

Group performance of Kohaku Theme Song “Uta no Chikara” 紅白テーマソング「歌の力」合唱

The opening act for the second half. Same unimpressive stuff as last year. They’re doing their best, but this song just isn’t growing on me. The piecemeal singing style doesn’t help either.

25. Hiromi Go 郷ひろみ (23) “Go!Go!Year Kōhaku Special Medley” GO!GO!イヤー紅白スペシャルメドレー

He turned 55 that year, and 5 is go in Japanese, hence “Go Go.” I like it when Japanese does stuff like that, though it can be a pain to translate. This was fun to watch. I don’t know any of his songs, but I liked Aishiteru, and the dancing for Dangan Groove was very lively.

Ugh, 6 hosts mean 6 times the fake smiles and fake laughs. Now I’m remember why I got so tired of Kohaku Utagassen so quickly. Sakana-kun again. Ugh. You can read more about the story behind the Kunimasu salmon he rediscovered here.

26. aiko (9) “Mukai Awase” 向かいあわせ

Another bland and forgettable song from aiko. The background sets are a little fancier this year than last year. They’re not zooming in on the background either so no glaring pixels. C’est bon.

27. Perfume (3) “Nee” ねぇ

Nee, nee, nee, nee. This title is just calculated to become an earworm. It doesn’t work on me with just one listen, but I can imagine hearing this everywhere in Japan for weeks, it would definitely get stuck in your head! The outfits are interesting, the background is cool, the choreography is great. The song is meh. Nee?

28. Tokio (17) “Advance”

Ah, the usual photo makes its usual appearance. Kind of fell flat this year, but I for one was happy to see it. How is the music? Seeing as Tokio isn’t really known for music these days. Nice song, but extremely generic-sounding. Calculated to be an inoffensive opening song to some shounen anime or TV show somewhere, I can just smell it. Random observance: isn’t Nagase’s hair suspiciously black for his age? 😉

29. Kumi Koda 倖田來未 (6) “KODA KUMI 2010 Special Medley”

I like her rose dress, but it’s obviously coming off in a few seconds, isn’t it? Ah. The hosts confirmed it. Come on, don’t give it away. We all know it, but that doesn’t mean you have to say it! Gyahaha, they almost pulled Ku-chan off the stage along with her dress. Nice recovery there, girl. No good songs in that medley but it was aight.

30. Hiroshi Itsuki 五木ひろし (40) “Oshiroi Hana” おしろい花

His 40th year since his debut. That’s cool. This song was written by his past composer who passed away so he’s singing it to honor him. Itsuki has songs I really like such as “Furimukeba Nihonkai” and “Shiodoki” but this won’t be joining those ranks. It’s so generic I started spacing out after the first verse. I appreciate the no-frills performance though. Really like the butterfly lapel pin too.

Unwanted and unneeded musical interlude from Arashi

Blah blah, Arashi, Japan, hometown. I told you I don’t like Arashi. Don’t make me repeat myself. You guys are just reading off a teleprompter, you don’t mean any of these things, stop putting on airs.

31. Akiko Wada 和田アキ子 (34) Akkoii! Kōhaku 2010 Special “AKKOィィッ!紅白2010スペシャル”

Her voice has really changed from her debut days. I know because I’ve listened to “Waratte Yurushite” and “Furui Nikki” a lot. But I still enjoyed watching and listening to this. All right! The AKB48 girls are just flapping their lips in the background. What are all those women there for anyway?

Ooh, accidental bad shot. Come to think of it, I’ve seen very few staff members this year. Was it last year or the year before when they were scurrying around everywhere like cockroaches? That was fun to watch.

32. Yūzō Kayama 加山雄三 (17) Wakadaisho 50-nen! Special Medley “若大将50年! スペシャルメドレー”

Why so many medleys this year? The Wakadaisho series was a series of movies Yuzo Kayama starred in, is what Wikipedia told me just now. Anyway, that was brilliant! I loved both songs. I didn’t know any of his music before, but this Japanese-style country music is really easy to listen to and the lyrics are clean and heartwarming. It was great!

33. Masaharu Fukuyama 福山雅治 (3) “Michishirube” 道標

Beamed in from another location just like last year. What a crowd. He’s cutting his hair live on stage to say good-bye to his Ryomaden role. And he wants the producer to do it. Okay, this is beyond creepy. Like, waay beyond. I’mma skip the cutting parts. NHK is really set on pushing that Ryomaden thing, seeing how much time they wasted on it both last year and this year. The song is okay.

34. Sachiko Kobayashi 小林幸子 (32) “Kaachan no Hitorigoto” 母ちゃんのひとり言

The last year before they dropped Sachiko Kobayashi from the program? I’m really happy they got rid of Kenichi Mikawa but I was sad when I heard Last Boss had stopped appearing too. Let’s enjoy her while she’s here. Actually she hasn’t repeated a song in all the time I’ve been watching Kohaku Uta Gassen.

Wahh, that was great. I so remember that goofy-looking bird. I mean it’s an amazing piece of stagecraft when it stands still, but it moves so jerkily it looks like a vulture instead of a crane. I enjoyed watching it flap around, though. Grand spectacles are fun to watch too!

35. Kobukuro コブクロ(6) “Ryūsei” 流星

Lots of talking from the guests to buy Kobayashi time to exit the stage. I always think Kobukuro songs are just okay. How’s this one? Yeah. Same opinion. I can see how it would be the perfect J-drama song though, especially if they play it at overly emotional moments like they always do. Come to think of it, I haven’t watched a J-drama in at least 10 years.

36. Kana Uemura 植村花菜 (debut) “Toilet no Kamisama” トイレの神様

I remember this hit song of the year being hideously boring. Was I right? Whoa, it’s even more boring than I’d remembered. UGH. And so fake. From the lyrics basically she was selfish and mean to her family until her grandma died then made up stories about her grandma to get some money. I can’t believe Kohaku spent so much time on this tripe. Tch.

37. Arashi 嵐(2) “2010 Kōhaku Original Medley” 2010紅白オリジナルメドレー

They’re singing again. Haven’t they punished me enough? I think reading too many tabloid articles has filled me with a revulsion for Arashi that I don’t feel for most other J-boy bands. Not that I follow any of them, but either way it’s quite unfortunate. Not as unfortunate as the stalkerish lyrics to “Monster” but definitely up there.

Wow, those scenes from Gegege no Nyoubou… Such terrible acting. Every time I try to watch a J-drama, there’s always a hope that they’ve become less wooden and artificial in their acting but they never have. Especially when I compare them to other Asian dramas, the overacting is just too much. Anyway, that’s just by-the-by.

Hmph, I can play the piano too. And I can do without a long CM of my latest movie playing in the background. Nah, kidding. I appreciate the amount of work that goes into such a performance.

38. Ikimono-gakari いきものがかり (3) “Arigatō” ありがとう

I really like the thin gold bracelet and the thin gold ring on the singer’s hand. Looks like something easily stolen though, just swipe swipe swipe. The song itself is nice but they already made us listen to it 5 minutes ago so it’s like a rehash. Nice enough performance, very simple.

Special performance: Keisuke Kuwata “Sore yuke Baby!!” “Honto wa Kowai Ai to Romance” 特別出演:桑田佳祐「それ行けベイビー!!」「本当は怖い愛とロマンス」

This was the year after Kuwata’s return from cancer surgery. Glad he’s back and doing okay. But wow, he has really bad teeth. Smoker? I really like Southern All Stars when their lyrics aren’t too risque. I’ve been a big fan ever since I heard one of their songs as the ending to the Ooku drama. I couldn’t understand a word of the Japanese-only drama back then, but man did I fall crazy in love with the ED theme. But enough about me, how’s the music?

For some reason I remember “Sore yuke Baby” very clearly. Guess I liked it back then. And I like it too now. But I like “Hontou wa Kowai Ai to Romance” even more. Kowaaaaaiaiaiaai Ai to Roomance! I like it, it’s seriously catchy. The bunny girls look a bit uncomfortable though. Perhaps Kuwata’s reputation as a lech is not completely unfounded? Lol at him introducing the next performance at the end.

39. Sayuri Ishikawa 石川さゆり (33) “Amagi Goe” 天城越え

Again? I love Amagi Goe, but again? I’d like to hear some of her other enka songs next time if possible. First let’s rewind and watch Keisuke Kuwata again… Thus fortified, on, on we go.

This time the excuse is that the lyricist for the song passed away so she’s singing to honor him. Okay, I’ll buy that. Beautiful kimono. The song is the same as ever, but I really like what they did with the stage effects, especially the ground gradually filling with red from below. Very theatrical.

40. Saburō Kitajima 北島三郎 (47) “Fusetsu Nagare Tabi” 風雪ながれ旅

Brilliant! This is the song Sabu-chan performed on the first Kohaku I watched, and I clearly remember him getting some of the pieces of “snow” in his mouth, lol. Seems he avoided that fate this time. Nice song, but it probably wouldn’t work without the effects or something similar.

41. Fuyumi Sakamoto 坂本冬美 (22) “Mata Kimi ni Koishiteru” また君に恋してる

Ah, I was waiting for this. She sang it early on last year’s program and got such a good response that she was invited back to be last-but-one batter for the red team. As I said back then, I prefer the soothing tones of the original but somehow Sakamoto’s high-pitched voice makes it work as well. Good stuff.

42. Kiyoshi Hikawa 氷川きよし (11) “Nijiiro no Baiyon” 虹色のバイヨン

Huh, I was wondering where he had gone. I wonder if he’s still on Kohaku these days or whether his time is past. I’ll find out in another 10 years at the rate I’m going. The theme this year is “Arabian Prince.” Maybe Persian? It’s… colorful. The song is ordinary.

42. Dreams Come True “Ikite Yuku no Desu♡” feat. The Kohaku Special Brass Band 生きてゆくのです♡ feat. ザ紅白スペシャルブラスバンド

I’ve always wondered if Dreams Come True is really that popular in Japan, seeing how late they appear on the program in every Kohaku. I guess they are? Not a bad song, though my attention was caught more by Miwa’s lacy kimono. Surely I could have a good seamstress copy that… She’s energetic, I’ll give her that, but her voice sounds hoarse. Still the song grew on me the more I listened to it. AAAAI SHITERU tte motto itte~.

43. SMAP (18) “This is Love ’10 SP Medley” SPメドレー

The final performance at last! SMAP! Kusanagi has been popping up in my Youtube feed recently with his cooking videos, but I know if I watch one Youtube will start spamming me with SMAP vids so I don’t dare.

I’ve been thinking this for a while, but doesn’t Ohno have surprisingly few lines and close ups for the alleged leader of Arashi? Not that I care though. As for SMAP’s performance, somehow I feel more charitable towards them now they’re gone. It even feels nostalgic to see them. Nakai out of step with everyone, Goro looking so old and stern, Katori with his faux-goofy act… They really look like middle-aged businessmen in those suits lol. Also the “This is Love” song is horrible. I’m not lovin’ it. “Triangle” is a bit better, but not by much. And what a waste of good feathers.

Results

I think the White Team has it, TBH. I loved more of their performances, especially Keisuke Kuwata, Shinichi Mori and Yuzo Kayama. And even Exile. Let’s see if the rest of Japan agrees. The hall seems to be on the White side. I don’t envy the production guys whose job it was to create that medley over the course of the program. Yes! White Team won! It was close, though. Time for the traditional singing of Hotaru no Hikari (Auld Lang Syne) and yay, it’s over! See you next time!

60th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2009 edition)

Welcome to my rundown of the 60th edition of Kohaku Utagassen (第60回NHK紅白歌合戦), which took place on December 31, 2009. That’s 8 years ago, which means I have 8 more episodes to watch to catch up with the latest one. Will it ever happen? Your guess is as good as mine. But if I do two editions a year that should help cut down the backlog.

Let’s try to keep it snappy this time. As usual the number  in brackets represents the number of times the artiste/band had appeared on Kohaku.

Introduction

Those kids are cute. Katou Seishirou looks really nervous. Everyone walks down the stairs real carefully. You wouldn’t want to fall down here. Nakai’s combover is pretty skillful… Nothing wrong with going bald, man.

1. Ayumi Hamasaki (11) 浜崎あゆみ Rule

“Rule” sounds like “rurrr.” Apart from that I’ve got nothing to say about this performance. I like her hair and her outfit, actually. Synchronized dancing when singing about not following rules seems a bit contradictory, non? Energetic performance.

2. EXILE (5) Someday

I don’t know any of the members except the one with the sunglasses, and even he I don’t know his name. Oh, I know the guy with the ponytail. And the pretty face. Oh well, time to space out through another Exile performance. Wait, no, gotta keep an open mind. They’re energetic too. The song is nothing special, but it’s fun to watch them jump around the stage like that. My waist hurts just thinking about it. Haha, they look winded. Ganbatte ne, ojisantachi.

3. AKB48 (2) RIVER River Surprise Kōhaku Remix サプライズ!紅白Remix

This is one of the earliest AKB48 batches so I recognize a few faces, if not the names. They really do have terrible choreography. Just jumping around and waiving their hands. Is it supposed to be cute? Oh well. There are so many of them I don’t know where to focus.

4. flumpool (debut) Hoshi ni Negai o 星に願いを

I feel like I’ve heard the name flumpool before but I don’t know anything about them. Practiced lines, very good, everyone saying what they were told to say. How’s the music? Nothing special. The only thing that comes to mind is that the lead singer looks like a girl. Who’s the guitarist giving orders to?

Ah, time for the usual introduction of the judges. Wasn’t Abe Hiroshi involved in a scandal recently? Who’s the one guy at the end? There’s always one random guy at the end. Whoa! Whenever SMAP shows up in this programs they look so young I don’t know what to say.

5. NYC boys (debut) 60th Kōhaku Memorial NYC Special紅白60回記念NYCスペシャル

A defunct boys’ group formed for no reason and disbanded for no reason. I don’t know any of them, but they’re going to sing old Kohaku songs. Hmm, interesting songs, but I would rather have watched the original performances. Wait, they only sang 2 old songs and then that’s the end of it? If I had a son this age, I would tell him to go to school and learn hard instead of wasting his life on this kind of boy band.

6. Ikimono-gakari (2) いきものがかり YELL

The song was used for the National Middle School Choral contest or something. The guys behind the lead singer look sleepy. Ah, the song makes you sleepy. Naruhodo. The two white things on the front of the singer’s dress look like tentacles. I can’t stop staring. At least it’s keeping me awake. I feel sorry for the students who had to practice this song for their choral contest. In our time we had fun songs like Lift Every Voice and Sing— Oooh! I spotted a staff member! They’re doing a better job of hiding them this year but I got one at last!

企画「こども紅白歌合戦」、審査員:両津勘吉(香取慎吾)Time for the kids’ corner where all the kids perform something each. SMAP guy is the special judge.

1:Kato Seishirou “Katsuobushi dayo Jinsei wa” 加藤清史郎「かつおぶしだよ人生は」 – Looking at his Wiki profile, it looks like he largely dropped off the map after 2016? Apart from one or two variety show appearances. That’s showbiz, kid. Too bad, his song was really cute. Very cute.

2:Sakura Maya “Taigyou Matsuri” さくらまや「大漁まつり」. Powerful voice, cute dress. Currently studying law in university. Showbiz is hard, man. Who is this Sakana-kun? Wasn’t he the guy pimping the sushi last year?

3:Snow Prince Gasshoudan “Snow Prince” スノープリンス合唱団「スノープリンス」 – Very young group under Johnny’s, just more fodder for the pedophiles. Only formed to promote the “Snow Prince” movie so I dunno where they are now. Forgettable song too.

4:Oohashi Nozomi “Nonchan Kumo ni noru” “Gake no Ue no Ponyo” 大橋のぞみ「ノンちゃん雲に乗る」「崖の上のポニョ」- Poor girl was nervous presenting. Making her “graduate” from showbiz was the right decision. Now she’s free to do whatever she wants.

Policeman guy is annoying… Both teams both won. That sucks. Even the kids are struggling to clap. Ah, I see, this is the role that made Japanese fans start calling him “Hogei!” Yeah, whatevers. That’s it for the kids for today. They have to go to bed now, national law.

7. Natsuko Godai (16) 伍代夏子 Shinobu Ame 忍ぶ雨

Hahaha, Ayanokouji is funny. Isn’t this that Saotome guy that shows up every year? I love Godai’s kimono. Lovely. The song is the usual enka song. If you take the lyrics away and play just the instrumentals they all sound the same. Love her hair too.

8. Takeshi Kitayama (5) 北山たけしTsurugi San  剣山

He got married that year! Whoa! What a… manly stage… What are they wearing? And more important, what are they not wearing? (o__o) … I can’t tell whether it’s better that they turned around or not. I like the song okay, but I can’t focus with those… guys in the back.

Hey, Nakai and Nakama changed their clothes. I know this Takeda from somewhere. Eh…. Live video from Nagasaki. Fukuhara’s nose is looking less pinched than normal. This must have been before his most recent nose job. A room where Sakamoto Ryoma stayed with a katana mark from back then. That’s cool.

9. GIRL NEXT DOOR (2) Infinity

Oh, Takeda is an interesting presenter. Vocalist has a lovely smile as ever and I like her dress, makeup and hair. Where’s the keyboardist that looks like Ekin Cheng? No close up for Mr. I’m Too Cool? Oh, there he is. Real quick. Doesn’t look too Ekin-like today. Very meh song. Now I remember why I gradually stopped watching these Kohaku programs.

10. Jero (2) ジェロ Umiyuki 海雪

What’s the point of this forced marriage of hip-hop and enka? I’m all for livening up the staleness of enka, but this is just silly. Especially when you have such a good song. Well, whatevs. Spaced out a little there, but I enjoyed the song.

11. Nana Mizuki (debut) 水樹奈々 Shin’ai 深愛

Sekine Mari and Ito Terry come to cheer her on. Bringing up her dead dad for more tears or something? Haaai. I don’t know any of Nana Mizuki’s songs… Actually I don’t know the woman herself. BRB quick Wiki. Okay, she’s Hinata in Naruto. The only thing I can remember her saying is “N-Naruto-kun,” but it still counts. And the song? Her voice is shrill in a way that reminds me of Ayumi Hamasaki. And she’s supposedly a trained singer? Well at least, this means she’s probably not lip-synching. Hai, tsugi.

12. FUNKY MONKEY BABYS (debut) Hero ヒーロー

I seem to remember liking this song, but… what’s the point of pulling an NHK announcer out to cheer them on? Just because he’s slightly good-looking. Yeah, I like this song well enough and the artistes seem to be enjoying themselves. I’m always happy when I find a song I like in these shows. The pics of regular dads doing regular jobs is oddly touching. Apparently Funk Monkey Babys broke up in 2013. Oh well.

13. Mitsuko Nakamura (14) 中村美律子 Kawachi Otoko Bushi 河内おとこ節

Staff member spot! Two of them! Tokio dragged out to support Mitsuko Nakamura again. Whatever for? Let my farming idols perform! Smiled at the fan reaching out to touch her sleeve. It would be tempting to touch your favorite star, wouldn’t it? Tokio have an attitude like “This is so stupid but a job is a job.” They’re not even matching the rhythm. Tuned out and started checking my phone. Haaai.

14. Porno Graffitti (8) ポルノグラフィティ Anima Rossa アニマロッサ

Za Travellers? I know some of those…. in fact, almost all of those owarai combis. They didn’t have enough time to introduce all of them. Too bad. They had to cut Porno Graffiti’s introduction too. I like this song. This is one of their better ones. I remember it very clearly too, so I must have heard it elsewhere. He made the heel of his shoe 60mm to support Kohaku’s 60th birthday. “Nobody cares, though.” Lol. Chuuru, chuchuchuruu~

15. Yoshimi Tendō (14) 天童よしみ 花筏 -Hanaikada-

A song for her mother. Hanaikada is a raft of flowers on the surface of a river. Whoa, that judge looks just like her mother. I always think that’s cute. This song doesn’t sound just like the usual enka songs, so I like it automatically. It’s actually not that special or memorable.

16. Kenichi Mikawa (26) 美川憲一 Sasoriza no Onna 2009 さそり座の女 2009

Yet another performance of Sasoriza no Onna. The first time I liked it, now it’s just old. They cut out The Travellers for this? This time with an Indian spin on it. Whatevs. Time to check my smartphone again, maybe the bar has gone from 25% to 23%, exciting stuff.

“Who invited these guys to Kohaku?” – Nakai, I completely agree.

17. Fuyumi Sakamoto (21) 坂本冬美 Mata Kimi ni Koishiteru また君に恋してる

I know the original song (by Billy Ban Ban) and like it a little better, but I’ve gotta hand it to Fuyumi Sakamoto, she really made this song her own. IIRC she performed it again the following year. I like her furry dress too, very…. furry. It’s a different feel from the usual Sakamoto, which is nice too.

18. Takashi Hosokawa (33) 細川たかし Bōkyō jon kara 望郷じょんから

Love this song. Love this performance too. I usually rewind it and watch it a few times. Unfortunately this was the last time Takashi Hosokawa performed on Kohaku before getting caught chilling with yakuza. Chilling with yakuza in Japan = no probs. Getting caught = no no. Hmm, but according to my research that controversy happened in 2007. Whatever, let’s forget about that and enjoy the beautiful song and powerful performance and powerful black dye in his hair. Love the shamisen interlude… I’m gonna have to rewatch this. Powerful ending… One more time! No, two more times!

19. Ai Otsuka (6) 大塚愛 Is

Staff spots in the lobby don’t count. I don’t care about Arashi, get them off my screen. Oh, Sabu-chan! Sabu-chan can stay. This was Arashi’s first time showing up on Kohaku. Whatevs. Last year it was Grandma’s rugs, this year, Ai is wearing Grandma’s curtains. And she wrote the song herself, clever girl. Too bad I had forgotten it by the time the performance ended.

20. Remioromen (debut) レミオロメン Konayuki 粉雪

Konaaaaaayukiii. Remioromen have been friends since elementary school. That’s nice. Staff member telling them to drag things out and buy time. That’s too obvious. And they bought time successfully. Lip synch? It sounds too similar to the record… wait, that part was a little different. The Konayuki is more “screamy” and nasal too.  Well I don’t mind either way, I love this song too.

21. Miyuki Kawanaka (22) 川中美幸 Futari Zake ふたり酒

Time for the mid-period voting. Nakai changed out of that awful blue suit. That’s good. I like the ordinary couple pics in the back. In fact I think I like seeing ordinary people at shows like this. I like Futarizake too. Songs about happy married life are so rare, it’s always about “I like this pretty girl or I like this fine boy or such and such broke my heart,” you know? Really sweet pics.

22. Shinichi Mori (42) 森進一 Hana to Chō 花と蝶

He has performed 42 years in a row at Kohaku. Wow. And now he’s not singing Ofukuro-san. So happy. I already like it, lol. Footage of his first performance. He looks almost exactly the same. And his hair is still black… ahahahaha. His nose is a bit different, I think?

So far the white team is leading. Yeah, that sounds about right. Hosokawa Takeshi alone should win the whole thing.

60th Kohaku Theme Song “Uta no Chikara” (The Power of Music) 第60回紅白テーマソング「歌の力」合唱 – Everyone singing the theme song of the program. Hmm, hmm. Well, let’s hear it. Joe Hisaishi composed the theme and people in Japan sent their thoughts about “the power of music” to be used for the lyrics. Music is certainly powerful, I can’t deny that. How about this song? It’s a good song actually but would be better if one person or a unified choir sang it.

Special performance: Susan Boyle, “I Dreamed a Dream. “特別出演:スーザン・ボイル、唄:「夢やぶれて」- The year of Susan Boyle’s big break… Hey, Nakama and Nakai changed clothes again. I just noticed. I too was impressed by Susan’s viral performance on Britain’s Got Talent. And I like this song too. Let’s enjoy this. Oh come on Susan, Kimutaku’s English was perfectly clear. Okay, enough talking. Very nice performance, thought nothing can top the passion and shock factor of her debut.

23. Yusuke (debut) 遊助 Himawari ひまわり

Singing with 3000 sunflowers… Waste of sunflowers. Whatever makes you happy. The song is so-so.

24. aiko (8) あの子の夢 Ano Ko no Yume

People who performed in a drama she sang the song for. “Welkame.” I’ve given up on liking aiko’s music so I’ll just play a little Granblue through this one. It’s almost Strike Time. Her dress is cute though. Hai, arigatou gozaimashita.

25. Hideaki Tokunaga (4) 徳永英明 Kowarekake no Radio 壊れかけのRadio

Ah, the radio-live corner for those who can’t watch it live… Aaaah, I see the satff member holding up the cue card. Tee hee hee. This is the song that turned me into a Tokunaga fan. Ah! The camera wobbled. How dare you! Lovely. Nakai always makes sure to say extra nice things to Tokunaga because apparently Tokunaga gets really nervous at Kohaku.

26. Ayaka Hirahara (6) 平原綾香 Mio Amore ミオ・アモーレ

Something about the song that Arakawa Shizukawa won the gold medal to. Ah, this classic tune. And the guitarist Rolly is supposed to be famous? Ehhh. Shiranai.

27. TOKIO (16) Taiyō to Sabaku no Bara 太陽と砂漠のバラ

Yay! The usual photo makes its usual appearance. It’s just not Kohaku without it. Now for this song… It’s aight. I like Tokio so I give them a few extra marks every time but it’s nothing special really. I’ll have forgotten it by tomorrow ^^; Actually it’s not that bad. Happy New Year!

28. Junko Akimoto (2) 秋元順子 Ai no Mama De… 愛のままで…

Terry Ito is showing up for the 3rd time today. Why, did he do something special that year? Ooh, I like her dress. And of course I like the song, but I said so last year so no need to repeat. The chandelier background goes well with the song. Miyamoto Emiri is the violinist, from the drama Tenchijin. Well done, ladies.

29. Perfume (2) One Room Disco ワンルーム・ディスコ

They’re really determined to promote this Ryomaden taiga drama, aren’t they? Open your mouth properly when you talk, Fukuhara. Song is eh, dance is eh. I only like Polyrhythm from them.

30. Tohoshinki (2) 東方神起 Stand by U

Uwah. The crowd is really excited by this one. Wow. I don’t know much about TXBQ or whatever these guys are called. Standard boy band song. Because of recent events (suicide) in the KPop world, looking at them just makes me worried. As long as they’re happy, eh?

31. Kaori Mizumori (7) 水森かおり Aki no Miyajima  安芸の宮島

I already know the secret behind your dress, Karoi-chan. The acrobatic performances in the background should have been given their own scene because they don’t seem to have anything to do with her so….. oh, I see. They’re pretending to be a Torii like in her song. Ah so.

32. Hiroshi Itsuki (39) 五木ひろし Itezuru 凍て鶴

He’s in this 40th year of showbiz. Sugoi. I like Itezuru so it’s fun to hear it again.

Michael Jackson Tribute Stage, performed by SMAP 追悼企画「マイケル・ジャクソン スペシャルステージ」、演出:SMAP

Brief mentions for Imagawano Kyousuke – RC Succession’s lead singer. I really miss him. – Katou Kazuhiko – Ano Subarashii Ai wo Mou Ichido… And Michaeeeeel! ;___; has it really been that long? Seeing Kimutaku trying to dance like Michael just makes me see how talented the real thing was. This is just sad… :-< Waaaah…. Not sure that was their intention, though. I’m baaad! I’m baaaad! I should stop watching this and go watch Michael Jackson videos on YouTube. Though again I’m sure that wasn’t their intention.

33. Kaela Kimura (debut) 木村カエラ Butterfly

A song she wrote as a surprise for a friend who got married on Valentine’s Day. That’s nice. The song is… nothing remarkable.

34. Alice (3) アリス Champion チャンピオン

Yay! Alice! Can’t believe they’re wasting so much time on this long intro from Arashi. Gimme the good stuff. I learned this song from Ippo, but I became a fan of Alice itself when I saw them on Kohaku. It’s nice to have them back. Lai la lai la lai la lai la lai! Everyone seems to be having fun. I really enjoyed that one.

35. Mika Nakashima (8) 中島美嘉 Nagareboshi 流れ星

Not Oodori again. They’re not funny. Another change of clothes for the Nakai team. Tendo Yoshimi always seems to be up for a laugh. I like that about her.

Mika Nakashima. She always looks a little out of it, but that’s just Mika-style I guess. Hmm. Nothing memorable about this song. I haven’t found many new songs to like in this Kohaku, mainly old favorites. That’s okay I suppose.

36. Yuzu (3) ゆず Aitai 逢いたい

Song written for the singer’s father who passed away. You’re trying to make him cry, aren’t you? Camera zooming in on his face to catch even the faintest glimpse of a tear if they can. Zurui. This sounds like something Nakajima Miyuki would sing to good effect. Not a bad song. The tears are just not coming, eh? Don’t force it. I’m sure you told your daddy everything you wanted to while he was alive.

37. Angela Aki (4) アンジェラ・アキ Tegami (Haikei Jūgo no Kimi e)手紙 〜拝啓 十五の君へ〜

Repeat from last year. I didn’t have much to say about it last year, and still don’t this year. I see some choir members still filing in, but no staff members. They’re really hiding them well this year.

38. Akira Fuse (25) 布施明 My Way マイ・ウェイ

Sakai Masaaki and Mori Mitsuko hosted the show many years ago. I’m not that familar with My Way in English, much less in Japanese. But Fuse Akira’s voice sounds rather faint to me. Okay, now he’s belting it out. I’ll go on Youtube and see Frankie himself perform it.

39. Sachiko Kobayashi (31) 小林幸子 Manyō Koiuta Aa, Kimi Matsu to 万葉恋歌 あぁ、君待つと

Last boss! Let’s see what she has for us this year! Aha, staff member at last. I was getting lonely. These guys are just buying time, like the sub-boss before the real one shows up. Let’s see. Even the choral music is like…. AAAAAAHH, Last Boss’s transformation! Scary!!! It looks like every swipe would take 9999 HP off your life. I wish I could have seen that in real life. I like the song a lot too.

40. Masaharu Fukuyama (2) 福山雅治 Hatsukoi はつ恋

Hmm, he’s going to sing too, is he? And the actress played his mother in Ryomaden. “Even if this love hurts you, I want you anyway.” Riiight. Actually I like the song but I don’t like the lyrics and the sentiments expressed so that’s it. I get the feeling those funky psychedelic lights are there to hide a background they don’t want us to see.

41. Kumi Koda (5) 倖田來未(×misono)2009 Kōhaku Koda Special 2009紅白KODA SPECIAL

Performing with her younger sister misono. I like Koda’s hair. And dress. I can’t see misono’s face clearly. Okay, nothing special. Voice, nothing special too. Welp. And the song is just so much noise and yelling. Next please. I looked up misono and it looks like if her latest CD doesn’t sell 10,000 copies her record company will cut her loose. misono fans (if you exist) work hard!

42. 嵐 Arashi (debut) 嵐×紅白スペシャルメドレー Arashi x Kōhaku Special Medley

I don’t know any of their songs so uh. Yeah. Ganbatte ne, ojisantachi. Oh wait, I know that first A-RA-SHI song. This will probably be like SMAP where I hate on them while they’re active but then when they break up I’m like aww, I want them back. Unfortunately I only know Ohno and Ninomiya by face. Which one is Piss Jun? I’ve heard… things. They got quite a bit of time to perform. Johnny’s doled out the paychecks thick and fat that year. Oya, they changed their clothes at some point.

Buying more time for the special guest to show up and for Arashi fans to get their fill. They’re surprisingly not out of breath for people who have been “singing” and dancing so hard. That’s the power of being 9 years younger than now. Even I could sing and dance back then. Honest!

Surprise performance: Yazawa Eikichi “Jikan yo tomare” “Cobalt no Sora” サプライズ出演:矢沢永吉、唄:「時間よ止まれ」「コバルトの空」Yazawa Eikichi is the special artiste coming to perform. He really has a star aura about him, doesn’t he? He should consider becoming a pro wrestler. And it’s interesting to see the walk all the way to the stage. That’s cool.

Aha, I remember really liking the Cobalt no Sora song. And I like Jikan yo Tomare, which I also learned about from this Kohaku performance. So I did get something nice from this episode. Oya oya, what happened to the subtitles? Not that I need them, but I can imagine a lot of scrambling going on in the back.

43. Kobukuro (5) コブクロ STAY

As with aiko, Kobukuro is an act I keep listening to, waiting for the day I finally find a song I like from them. The lack of a proper intro for this song tells me they’re running behind schedule again. It happens.

44. Akiko Wada (33) 和田アキ子 Mōichido Futari de Uta Itai もう一度ふたりで歌いたい

The whole program is now running ahead so now they’re wasting time. Well done. Aku Yuu really was a master lyricist. I wouldn’t listen to this song separately but I’m enjoying this performance.

45. Kiyoshi Hikawa (10) 氷川きよし Tokimeki no Rumba ときめきのルンバ

Shiny shiny shiny. Nothing particularly special about this song. Though it’s clever the way they turned “aishiterunda”  (I love you) into “aishiterumba.”

Another (!) dress change for Nakama Yukie. And another rushed intro. Cameraman spot!

46. Sayuri Ishikawa (32) 石川さゆり Tsugaru Kaikyō Fuyu Geshiki 津軽海峡・冬景色

I like Ishikawa Sayuri, I like this song, love the kimono. I’ve heard it a couple times too often though, so I’d like it if she performed something else next year. Really nice kimono. I like the hair decs too, though the hair looks pulled back a little tight.

47. Ayaka (4) 絢香 Minna Sora no Shita みんな空の下

This was her final release before she took a break from music, I believe? That’s what Nakama Yukie is saying. Boring song with the usual “Do your best” lyrics. They could have picked a better performer for the last but one performer at Kohaku. Was Ayaka really that popular? I keep waiting for the song to end and she keeps singing.

48. SMAP (17) Soto Kyutto ~ Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana そっと きゅっと〜世界に一つだけの花

SMAP-kun-tachi. Their current song of that year and then the usual Sekai ni Hitotsu. For me, doing a medley of the song you’re currently promoting with one of your past hits seems like an admission of failure. Like your song didn’t make it on its own so you have to package it with something better. Sotto Kyutto isn’t too bad, in a typical boy band ballad song. Oh I see, Toshiyuki the special judge wrote and composed Sekai ni Hitotsu. That’s nice. The idea behind the song is nice, so I understand why it became such a hit. Why is misono distracting Last Boss in the middle of a performance?

49. DREAMS COME TRUE (featuring Fuzzy Control) (13) Sono Saki e ~Kōhaku Special Version~ その先へ 〜紅白スペシャルバージョン〜

You know, I never see Dreams Come True mixing in with the crowd or doing those little skits and plays. They must have it written into their contracts somewhere. A different song from them, “Middle of Nowhere.” And now “Sono Saki e.” Neither one is really rocking me so I’m playing Granblue Poker. I’m almost out of chips. I’m not winning at all… I can’t even get up to 8000 chips. This sucks.

50. Saburō Kitajima (46) 北島三郎 Matsuri まつり

Sabu-chan! I gave my thoughts about this two years ago, was it? Has everybody got a fan? No, go get some more. Etc, etc.

Results: The White team won yet again. I think the Reds finally got a pity win the following year, but this 60th edition is the last one I remember watching with rapt attention.

59th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2008 edition)

Welcome to another lengthy rundown, this time of the 59th Kohaku Utagassen (第59回NHK紅白歌合戦). I’m trying to catch up to the most recent version by the end of the year so I should be doing these things more frequently from now on. Don’t hold your breath, though.

The 59th Kohaku Utagassen took place on December 31, 2008 at the NHK Hall in Tokyo. The introduction and our hosts: Nakai Masahiro, Nakama Yukie with Nozomi Oohashi of Ponyo fame as guest. Cute, child-like voice. Now come the performers. Nakai with a shoutout to Tsurube from last year. You hypocrite, after you acted all cold and cranky towards him.

I’ve seen this general announcer Matsumoto Kazuya before… I think from the year before the last? The one where DJ Ozma took his clothes off. The other announcer is Ono Fumie, high up in a blimp over the NHK Hall for no discernible reason whatsoever. Oh, Japan.

Btw, the number in brackets () next to an artist’s name is the number of times they have appeared on the program in the past. It’s considered to be an honor to perform at Kohaku so the higher the number, the greater the star. In theory, anyway. In practice a lot of popular and talented artists aren’t invited or don’t accept for various reasons, but that’s a post for another day.

1. Ayumi Hamasaki 浜崎あゆみ (10) Mirrorcle World

What are these guys wearing… Love it. This isn’t really dancing is it, it’s just kind of writhing around on the stage. Oh well, it’s too early to start complaining and the song isn’t too bad. The musicians don’t look like they’re playing live at all. Things got more lively once she took her clothes off. That tends to happen a lot in life…

 

2. Akira Fuse (24) Kimi wa Bara Yori Utsukushii (布施明 – 君は薔薇より美しい)

Ah, I saw a staff member run up to tell someone something. They need to hide this stuff better. Last year Akira Fuse did dancing Takarazuka gilrls, this time it’s just some random dudes in white suits. Yeah yeah. And now women flashing their butts while writhing on the ground? Cute blue dresses, too bad they’re just an excuse to flash more panties. Bleh. I prefer plainer performances of this song, this is just too busy.

3. Girl Next Door (debut) Guzen no Kakuritsu (偶然の確率)

Polite smile from the Girl Next Door singers at this attempt to cheer them up. Is there some reason for the England motif? Rather boring song, but the vocalist has a beautiful smile. The other members look kind of bored, TBH. The keyboardist looks a bit like Ekin Cheng, lol. Whatever happened to this band? Ah so, they broke up in 2013. Welp, that’s that, then.

4. Kenichi Mikawa (25) Sasoriza no Onna 2008 (美川憲 さそり座の女 2008)

Eww, IKKO. What’s he doing here. And Kenichi Mikawa is singing Sasoriza no Onna for the third or fourth year in the row. Ah, another running staff member! And yet another one. Come on guys, hide a bit better. I’m tired of this song already, and neither his outfit nor the backing performances are all that special. No wonder he’s been dropped from more recent entries. Ah. Haruna Ai. So this is a samba themed version? With accompanying chicken dance? Nah, I still don’t care.

Haha, another sneaking staff member. Time to introduce the guest judges. Nothing too interesting here. Keiko Matsuzaka is a very beautiful woman. Some comedy group called Hige Danshaku? Haha, they made me smile a little. Okay, I lol’d a tiny bit.

5. Natsuko Godai (15) Kyōto Ninenzaka (伍代夏子 京都二年坂)

Interesting kimono belt and lovely smile as always. She looks like she’s lost a bit of weight since last year. These enka songs sound the same most of the time. The Mikura twins starring in some show or another are here for… well, it’s not Kohaku without that kind of pointless performance. According to Wikipedia ManaKana haven’t done anything of note since 2011. That’s the entertainment world for you, hope they milked their 15 minutes of fame while it lasted. Love the kimonos.

6. Takeshi Kitayama (4) Kibō no Uta (北山たけし 希望の詩)

Now a tribute for Endo Minoru, a prolific songwriter who passed away in October 2008, by Kitajima Saburo and Kobayashi Sachiko, two artists he wrote classic songs for. Nakai keeps stumbling over his words. Stop talking so fast. Endo Minoru also wrote this song for Kitayama. Another soundalike enka song. Nothing special at all. All the enka singers are there to cheer him on. How does Sachiko manage to look so tearful all the time?

7. Fujimaki Fujioka and Nozomi Ōhashi (debut) Gake no Ue no Ponyo (藤岡藤巻と大橋のぞみ 崖の上のポニョ)

Nozomi Oohashi “retired” from the entertainment world a few years ago, once the Ponyo boom died off and the entertainment world had no further use for a not-so-young child with a not-so-good voice. In fact at her final performance I forget whether it was Miyazaki himself or Joe Hisaishi, but one of them said they picked Nozomi Oohashi precisely because she wasn’t very good. They said she sounded more like a normal kid trying to sing, which was the precise tone they were going for.

None of that has anything to do with this performance btw, which is also a look back at 25 years of collaboration between Miyazaki and Hisaishi. It makes me nostalgic for old Ghibli movies. I rewatched Totoro recently and it wasn’t nearly as boring as I’d thought the first time. Couldn’t they have used a higher quality video fro the background, though? It looks so old, blurry and pixelated. Stylistic suck? Lovely, lively segment though.

8. Tōhōshinki (debut) Purple Line~Dōshite Kimi o Suki ni Natte Shimattandarō? (東方神起 Purple Line〜どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう?)

Introduced by the Blue man Group… for no good reason. I would have liked it if Blue Man Group themselves performed. I rather like them, but they didn’t really do anything and the audience really doesn’t know how to respond.

Don’t really care/know anything Tohoshinki or about boy bands in general so. I don’t remember what this performance was like either. …Ah, nothing worth remembering. Okay, moving on.

9. Kaori Mizumori (6) Wajima Asaichi (水森かおり 輪島朝市)

Lyricist Kinoshita Ryutaro who wrote some lyrics for her died that year so she’s singing this song to remember him. Yet another platform-hiding dress? Change it up a bit, lady. And what’s the point of crying even before you start? All these enka songs sound the same and the lyrics are similar too. I can’t believe I used to like enka. Or maybe I’m just not in a charitable mood today. Very nice performance and good voice but the song is just boring.

10. Aqua Timez (2) Niji (虹)

Used for the theme song of a drama called Gokusen. Like I care. Not a bad song though. I enjoy watching this performance but it’s not something I would listen to outside the program. Running cameraman spotted! I’d die if I took a shot every time I saw an errant staff member. It wasn’t this obvious in previous years I don’t think.

11. Yūsaku Kiyama (木山裕策) (debut) Home

Father of four, was an ordinary office worker until the age of 40, also got cancer four  years ago? Yikes! An inspirational story, though it seems they’re just using it for the shock/emotional factor. He has a nice voice though. And apparently he still works at his old publishing company even now? That’s cool. Ooh, his family is in the audience. All boys. So cute!

About the song and the performance itself… Nice soothing voice. Nice song, nothing too special. It’s good that they didn’t add any distracting backup dancers to a simple performance.

12. Junko Akimoto (debut) Ai no Mama de…( 秋元順子 初 愛のままで…)

The oldest person make a debut at Kohaku, Junko Akimoto at 61. Lovely letter from her daughter. I really like this song and she looks like a spunky old lady. Love her outfit and the chanson feel of this song. I think the viewers agreed because IIRC she was invited back the following year. I used have the mp3 so I listened to it quite often. And if you don’t want me to release an mp3 of myself singing this song in the shower, send me $1000 in unmarked dollar bills… >:D

13. Kimaguren (キマグレン)(debut) Life

Being a backup dancer is hard work… Lively song and the barefoot thing is… different. Without the subtitles I wouldn’t have a clue what he was trying to sing in English. Not really my kind of song, I guess, a little too busy for me. I hear it was used for a sports commercial and it certainly gives off that kind of vibe.

I notice they wrote the song together. I read a thread recently about how that’s the best way to make money as a singer in Japan. JASRAC is pretty diligent about collecting royalties, so you can live for decades off karaoke earnings if you’re credited as the songwriter or lyricist. And this continues even after the band has broken up (according to their official website Kimaguren held its final concert in July 2015). The more you know.

14. Ikimonogakari (いきものがかり) (debut) Sakura

Lots of debut performances this year. That’s great. IIRC Ikimonogakari broke up very recently. Or rather they’re on “indefinite hiatus”, i.e. “we’ll be back if we ever need money.” Staff member spot! Let’s see if their music is any good. I know them from Big Windup! at least. Hmm, not a bad song. Singer can hit the high notes very accurately. Very easy on the ears. I wouldn’t necessarily listen to it outside Kohaku, but no problems otherwise.

15. Kiyoshi Maekawa and Cool Five (18) Tokyo Sabaku (前川清(&クール・ファイブ)東京砂漠)

Announcer Ono in the air gets a chance to speak. Ah so. Yay, Maekawa Kiyoshi singing the first song I ever heard from him. 2009 was his 40th year in showbiz, wow! 40 years and your hair is still that black? Haha, you’re not fooling me! And remember when they said they were reforming Cool Five for one night only? Good song. Anata ga ireba, aa anata ga ireba…

16. Miyuki Kawanaka (21) Nirinsō (川中美幸 二輪草)

Mihara Tsunaki and the New Breed in another studio. Never heard of them. They’re playing the backing music for some of the songs, like this one. That’s a different hairdo to go with the kimono. I rather like it. The song is a nice one too, though it’s Kawanaka Miyuki’s signature song so I’ve heard it often. Brilliant smile as ever.

Special: Miyazawa Kazufumi in Ganga Zumba & The Boom “Shimauta ~ Celebrating 100 years of Brazilian emigration” 特別企画:宮沢和史 in ガンガ・ズンバ & THE BOOM「島唄〜ブラジル移民100周年記念バージョン」

According to Wikipedia, Kazufumi Miyazawa is the founder of the Japanese bands The Boom and Ganga Zumba. The latter band uses Brazilian, Caribbean and Latin American elements in their music, which is why he was chosen to headline this special segment commemorating the 100th year since 800 Japanese people emigrated to Brazil, ultimately leading to a population of approximately 150,000 Japanese-Brazilians today… If I got my math correctly. Must be wrong but whatever. Live link to Brazil to see a mochi-making festival and meet some emigres.

Ashiato no nai Michi sung accompanied by old photos of the ancient emigres. Then he launches into his signature song, Shimauta. Which I like, so it’s cool. Aren’t these livefeed people clapping out of tune?

17. Ayako Fuji (16) Akai Ito (藤あや子 紅い糸)

Ooh, it’s the always beautiful Fuji Ayako, singing my second-favorite Fuji Ayako song! Why do I have to go through a pointless performance by “chief cheerleader” Terry Ito to get to it? An omelette from a fan? Oh, the price we pay for stardom. Nakama Yukie’s laugh is just too fake.

The Saotome guy who performed with Sakamoto Fuyumi last year is here again, joined by some Hashi guy. Let’s ignore them and enjoy this lovely song and take in the beautiful Fuji Ayako. Even better, this doesn’t sound like the typical enka song at all. Gorgeous kimono, love the red strings in her hair. And the nail decs, so cool. I want a Fuji Ayako calendar…

18. WaT (4) 36℃

Uh, I don’t know this Sekai no Nabeatsu guy introducing them. Should I? Haven’t seen him before, haven’t seen him since. I don’t get what’s funny about his act either. And I don’t care much for WaT either. How did they ever get to perform/lip-synch at Kohaku so often when they weren’t even that popular? I sense a powerful agency pulling some strings. Staff member spotted running up the stage!

19. Mitsuko Nakamura (13) Kawachi Otoko bushi (中村美律子 河内おとこ節)

People stuffing their faces backstage while promoting the sponsor-provided food, it seems? These views backstage are always interesting. Unnecessary, but interesting. Tokio and Jero and Nabeatsu here to cheer Mitsuko Nakamura on. Because you have to do that kind of stuff if you want to be on Kohaku. More backup dancers forcing themselves to look jolly and excited. How many times had they practiced this? It’s a hard knock life indeed. As for the song… Meh. Lovely kimono and lively performance, but that’s about it. Next please.

20. Porno Graffitti (7) Gift (ポルノグラフィティ ギフト)

The Perfume girls are from Hiroshima prefecture, same as the Porno Graffiti guys. So they’re asked to come and say… pretty much nothing of note. Basically just buying time for the stage to clear and PG to set up. I don’t remember this song, but just from the bass line alone I like it already. Though again I mean-spiritedly wonder if PG is popular enough to justify their regular spot on the Kohaku roster… Waha! Creeping staff member spot! He just ducked behind one of the amps! Hmm, the song is okay, not quite as good as I was hoping for, but okay.

21. Ai Otsuka (5) Ai (大塚愛 愛)

Canned response from guest judge Satoshi Tsumabuki about the NHK drama he’s in the next year. Hai. I don’t like Otsuka’s outfit. Give your granny back her rugs and cushions! As for the song, meh. Actually it’s not too bad. Another singer whose agency shovels her in every year I bet. I’ve seen like three singers in this show with red nails, was that a fashion trend in 2009? This wasn’t a good year for Kohaku and me, no wonder I barely remember any of the songs.

22. Ken Hirai (9) Itsuka Hanareru Hi ga Kitemo (平井堅 いつか離れる日が来ても)

Whoa, it’s so obvious that they made Yoshida use that “sasaerareta” line on purpose. She just rattled her line off like she had memorized it, which she probably had. This is so cheesy. Hirai Ken! Improve my mood, please! Ack, he just came from working in his woodshop! Go comb your hair! I like this song well enough, but it’s not doing anything for me right now. The lyrics are too whiny, I guess. Like the singer should be getting therapy for his abandonment issues instead of standing around singing about them.

23. Fuyumi Sakamoto (20) Kaze ni Tatsu (坂本冬美 風に立つ)

Oya, Sakamoto Fuyumi was a softball catcher when she was a student? She doesn’t look it at all. That’s cool. And she actually caught the ball! Double cool! Nice rainbow kimono and flowery obi too. Now for the song… Taka Takashi again! Oh, I actually like it. It’s very Misora Hibari. Oh man, I can’t believe they made the softball guest judge hold a ball and mitt. Cut her some slack. Anyway, I like the song and I haven’t seen an errant staff member in a while. Things are looking up.

Next is some kind of message about peace. Basically a roundabout way of promoting some movie Nakama, Nakai were in and Joe Hisaishi wrote the music for. I like the cool piano music in the background, but these canned responses and fake teariness are boring. Even the audience didn’t want to clap. Wakaru~

24. Masafumi Akikawa (3) Sen no Kaze ni Natte (秋川雅史 千の風になって)

Third year in a row? Which means you didn’t release anything better in the interval. Welp, as long as you can live off this one for now. I’ve already given my thoughts on this song last year and the year before so we’ll let this one pass without comment.

Special: Enya Orinoco Flow 特別企画:エンヤ『オリノコ・フロウ〜ありふれた奇跡』

Interim voting. Pointless. Some environmental message, yeah yeah. Is Norika Fujiwara really tall or is this announcer really short? Enya… I don’t know anything about her. Waha! English is being spoken by some human beings! Don’t worry, my spoken Japanese is even worse than their English so I can’t criticize them.

Well, let’s just suffer through this music. Oh, I’ve heard this song before. Is this really live? She’s lip synching, isn’t she? I don’t care either way. Soothing music, though probably not what people should be listening to late at night on New Year’s Eve – what if they fall asleep?!

Results of the interim vote: White is about 12,000 votes ahead. Sounds about right, though IMO neither side has impressed me yet. News break.

25. Perfume (debut) Polyrhythm (ポリリズム)

Why are they bothering to pretend to sing? Just do your little dance. Whatever. They must have practiced this like 2000 times. In heels! I told you, being in the entertainment industry is hard work! I don’t mind this song, but again it’s not something I would listen to outside Kohaku. I used to have legs like those too, once upon a time.

26. Jero (debut) Umiyuki (ジェロ 海雪)

Ah, a song I like. At long last! And they trotted out his half-Japanese mother to cheer him on, how sweet.  I really like this song. Akimoto Jun of AKB48 fame/infamy wrote the lyrics. That guy must be seriously rolling in every expensive substance imaginable. Time to sing along. Maru deeeeee Umiiiiyuuuuki! Very good! Clap clap clap!

I hear Jero is still active in Japan, but the novelty of a foreigner singing enka has long since worn off so you don’t hear of him much. He’s doing well, but that hip-hop outfit is just… uck.

27. SPEED (4) White Love (ReTrack)

Speed, huh. I didn’t know them in their heydays and I don’t remember this performance making much of an impression on me, but let’s give them a chance. Lipsynch away, I don’t mind. Apart from that, both the dancing and the singing and the song are all boring. They need a less pixellated background screen next year.

28. Tokio (15) Amagasa (雨傘)

My favorite farming idols! They’re even dressed like farmers. Haha, the usual photo makes a appearance. This photo never gets old. Shiina Ringo wrote this song for them. I’ve heard her name but don’t know her music. Let’s give it a listen. Oh yeah, I remember hearing this one. It sounds like an anime theme song or something. Is it true that Kokubun doesn’t really play the piano? 😀 He does look like he’s randomly banging away at the keyboard. Anyway, another okay song I wouldn’t listen to outside of Kohaku. Shave that pit, Yamaguchi.

29. Thelma Aoyama (debut) Soba ni Iru ne (青山テルマ feat.SoulJa そばにいるね)

Tendo Yoshimi, so cute. I haven’t been able to listen to this Soba ni Iru ne song the same way every since I heard Jinnai Tomonori’s spoof version: Midoriyama Teruko’s Sobaya ni Iru ne. That skit made me laugh too hard. I didn’t like this song before that, but now I do. And I like Aoyama Thelma’s fashion too! Okay, I enjoyed this performance and it’s all thanks to Jinnai.

30. Yutaka Mizutani (debut) California Connection (水谷豊 カリフォルニア・コネクション)

Ooh, one of my favorites songs. He Yutaka Mizutani hadn’t sung in 22 years because his drama and film career have been going too well. Too bad, I just loooove California Connection, it’s such a smooth song. I listen to it all the time. He looks crazy nervous. Hahahaha, funny message to his wife, “I’ll be home after 12.” Hahahaha ^________^ And clever stalling for time with Motoki while setup continues. I saw a blurred out staff member behind Mizutani, yes I did.

Oho, the instruments are a little different from the one I know. This is cooler and jazzier. I like it~ Yay, this is awesome! I’m singing along with the lyrics. I should do this more often, it’s good for my Japanese reading and pronunciation.

31. Ayaka (3) Okaeri (絢香 おかえり)

Haha, the guy behind the radio team with the red circle is really acting it up! Ayaka wrote her own lyrics. Clever girl. The song is okay, I guess Kohaku just didn’t have a good crop that year. My sister has a bedsheet like Ayaka’s dress. Actually the song is kind of growing on me. Nothing I would listen to outside Kohaku, still.

32. Hideaki Tokunaga (德永英明) (3) Rainy Blue

Aah! A staff member scurried away like a cockroach! I like Rainy Blue. And Tokunaga’s blue suit to go with it. I heard a cover version from Jacky Cheung not too long ago, but it’s really Tokunaga Hideaki’s breathy voice that sells the song. And he wrote the tune too? Clever fellow, you know where it’s at! Rainy blue mouuuu~ Sing along with Tokunaga-chan!

33. Kumi Koda (倖田來未) (4) Taboo

Another flash-in-the-pan comedy character. Iroka Koijiro. Uh… yeah. I loled when Nakai swooned, so he got me I guess. Cute kimono but it’s obviously coming off in no time at all. Yup, I knew it. I like her ballads but her poppier songs do nothing for me. This was actually a waste of my time.

34. Hiroshi Itsuki (38) Itezuru (五木ひろし 凍て鶴)

Yay, Itezuru. I hear Itsuki Hiroshi always tries to sing something new every year at Kohaku but he repeated Chigiri last year to honor the late Aku Yuu and is repeating Itezuru to honor Miki Takashi, who was suffering from cancer and later died. I won’t mention the conspicuous black dye in Itsuki’s hair if you won’t. I like this song.

35. Angela Aki (3) Tegami ~Haikei Jūgo no Kimi e~ (アンジェラ・アキ 手紙 〜拝啓、十五の君へ〜)

I like Nakama Yukie’s new dress. They’re making like a K-drama and advertising lots of sponsors’ clothes, aren’t they? Meh, I don’t like sappy lyrics. The song is okay. What is this, the 20th song I’ve deemed just “okay”? It’s the truth I’m afraid. This Kohaku didn’t impress me at all.

36. Naotarō Moriyama (3) Ikiteru Koto ga Tsurai nara (森山直太朗 生きてることが辛いなら)

Moriyama got some flack that year for possibly promoting suicide through this song (the title of which means “If it hurts to keep living”). The first line is “If it hurts to keep living, you should just shrivel up and die.” But his point is to face life head on… or so the announcer claims. Let’s read the lyrics and see for ourselves.

Next line “Your parents and friends will be sad for three days then they’ll get over it.” Hmm… The first verse is pretty bleak. The following verses are slightly more hopeful but… nah, it’s not a very happy song. More like just hang in there till you can’t take it any more, after all your life doesn’t mean much anyway in the grand scheme of things. That’s not the kind of song I want anyone feeling down to listen to. Yup, he deserves all the flack he was getting.

37. aiko (7) KissHug

Stop worrying these judges with your pointless banter. Well, will this be the song that finally makes me like aiko? She wrote the lyrics and the song, so this represents her fully. Haa… I don’t like her voice, her singing style, the song is just blah… I’m sorry aiko. I really want to like you, really I do. *applauds politely*

38. Shuchishin with Pabo (debut) Shuchishin Kōhaku Special (羞恥心 with Pabo 羞恥心〜陽は、また昇る紅白スペシャル)

Shuuchishin! Shuuchishin! I kind of like this song, mostly because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Lipsynching is fine too. I wouldn’t buy their CD or anything and as for Pabo I don’t need to see them. Two, no three staff members spotted. They’re not even looking at the stage, lol. Colorful stage but that’s all I can say about that. More staff members and the whole “Hexagon family” whoever they are. Riiight… AHAHAHAHA! Ungirls! Nooooo >_< Okay they got me, I laughed. Someone’s stripping… WHYYYY. Ookayyy.

39. Kobukuro (4) Toki no Ashioto (コブクロ 時の足音)

Another act I feel I should like but can’t really get into. If the feeling is not there, it’s not there. But we will politely listen to their performance like good people. As an aside, hearing the MCs stumbling over their words makes me feel better about my own bad Japanese pronunciation. Because I’m a bad person. Why does the short Kobukuro always look like he wants to cry? Finished listening to the performance and I can’t remember this song for the life of me. Did it even have a tune? Ah so.

40. Ayaka Hirahara (5) Nocturne (平原綾香 ノクターン)

Tribute to Ogata Ken. I saw him in something quite recently, can’t remember what. Just realized I don’t really like Kimutaku’s speaking voice. Anyway, Nocturne was the song for the last drama Ogata Ken starred in before he died. What a convoluted relation. Whatevs. I know this Chopin song. … Sometimes I have to depend on the Japanese lyrics to figure out what she’s singing in English… Man, this is so boring. I won’t even clap.

41. EXILE (4) Ti Amo

Uwaaaa…. a live show from Sapporo dome. What a huge crowd! Can those near the back even see anything? Yup, this is the kind of look and dancing I expect from Exile. Wings flapping and spinning around like birds. I don’t really care for them much. Another polite listen. Actually I hear almost no singer sings live these days. These guys definitely aren’t singing. Sunglasses guy isn’t even pretending. Whatevs again.

42. Sachiko Kobayashi (30) Roran (小林幸子 楼蘭)

Last boss coming up. What’s the point of calling all of Tohoshinki out if only one person is going to make a brief comment? I like this song… where did I hear it from before? This show? No, I knew it before. Anyway, I really like it. And her outfit, what’s hiding underneath? Dokidoki… There’s nothing underneath. Disappointment galore. From desert to undersea. I like the song, though. Eh, there’s more to the outfit?! A spider?! Octopus? Palm tree? EEHHH? Wow, okay. Well, that was fun.

43. Saburō Kitajima (45) Kita no Ryōba (北島三郎 北の漁場)

The Shinjuku Koma theater was closed down that year so Kimimaro Ayanokouji is there to see the aftermarth of the final performance. Apparently Kohaku was held there in the past. They have a statue of Kitajima Saburo because he performed there around 1,800 times. Wow. Mr. Ayanokouji, please don’t read so obviously off the teleprompter.

Sabu-chan! Haven’t heard this piece in a while. Going fishing with SMAP? They’re standing there like they don’t know what to do with themselves. That’s Kohaku for you. Haha, this is too funny. Umi noooo otoko nya yooo, I like this song. This is so silly. But kinda fun compared to the other performances I guess. Umi nooooo otoko nya yooooo~

44. Yo Hitoto (5) Hajimete (一青窈 はじめて)

Some kind of environmental message. Staff member spot! Why didn’t you wait till the lights went out first. Something about saving power by lighting the hall with candles. Just a gimmick. At least we learned that Hitoto Yo has other songs and not just the one she’s been forced to sing every single time. Let’s see how this one goes. Not bad but kind of boring. I could apply that label to just about everything that’s been sung this night.

45. Mika Nakashima (中島美嘉) (7) Orion

Red nails again. Must be a 2008 thing. Another song that does nothing for me. Mika stooping and looking drunk again. Must be a Mika thing. The pixels are awful on that “starry” background. Staff member spotted in the dark.

46. Mr. Children (debut) – GIFT

They got the longest allotted time of the night, 7 minutes to perform. Apparently NHK bent over backwards to get them to perform. I don’t really know much about MisChil, I’ve heard a few songs here and there but nothing that really grabbed my attention. And there was something about a scandal involving the lead singer Sakurai? Not sure, can’t remember clearly. Wait, it’s bad to spread rumors without evidence. Let me Google first. Ah so, he cheated on his wife and left her for the other woman. -_- Tomoyasu Hotei and Glay’s Teru have company.

How’s the music? *shrug* It’s okay. Very noisy at the end with all those people standing around yelling Lalalala. Blah.

47. Sayuri Ishikawa (31) Amagigoe – Ichiro Version (石川さゆり 天城越え(イチローバージョン))

Another dress change for Nakama Yukie. The sponsors are getting their money’s worth. Ichiro liked Ishikawa Sayuri’s rendition of Amagigoe two years ago at Kohaku (Yukie says last year but it wasn’t) so much that he used it for his walk up music that previous year. Hence the “Ichiro version” in the title. Hmm, I quite like the hard rock intro with Marty Friedman. Oya? He disappeared halfway through the act. What’s the point of bringing in a guitarist of Friedman’s caliber and only using him for 30 seconds? Kohaku…!

Stellar performance as always from Ishikawa Sayuri, but the rendition from two years ago just can’t be topped. It was too perfect.

48. SMAP (16) Kono toki, kitto yume ja nai (Kōhaku Special) (この瞬間、きっと夢じゃない紅白SP)

Oya? Did Inagaki make a misstep early on? Doesn’t matter, me no care. His movements are definitely a bit off, though. Turn, step, twirl, sway back, turn… I’ve said it before but it must be really hard being in a boy band when you’re old enough to have grand kids in a boy band. I can feel the hours of practice oozing through. I just realized I don’t really like their music, but I enjoy watching SMAP on the stage. I’m gonna miss them just a tiny little bit.

49. Yoshimi Tendo (13) Tonbori Ninjō (天童よしみ 道頓堀人情)

The always cute Yoshimi Tendo singing her debut song to honor her late father. Another… interesting outfit. And the song is… Just another enka song. I like the lyrics, at least.

50. Shinichi Mori (41) Ofukurosan (森進一 おふくろさん)

Aiyaa, Ofukurosan again. And he has so many other good songs instead, like Kita no Hotaru and Erimo Misaki. I didn’t need the introduction. There’s no way to spice this old horse meat, so just serve it up already. Sora wo miageryaaaa~

51. Akiko Wada (32) Yume (和田アキ子 夢)

All the enka singers changed outfits just for this end scene. I like Sakamoto Fuyumi’s canary yellow kimono the best. It’s flashy like an entertainer’s outfit should be. Actually it looks like all the other singers changed clothes too. Uh, okay.

This was Akko’s 40th year in showbiz. Isn’t this the same dress she wore to perform Mother three or four years ago? The singer-songwriter Tatsuya Ishii – isn’t that the lead singer of Kome Kome Club? Must be a coincidence. Ufufu, more staff members lurking behind the stage area. They really needed a curtain for that side. The song itself is just okay, no big deal. What is it called, a power ballad? She certainly has a lot of power.

52. Kiyoshi Hikawa (9) Kiyoshi no Zundoko Bushi (氷川きよし きよしのズンドコ節)

Fun, fun, fun, fundoshi! Zureta! Last song of the night. I like this song. Sparkly sparkly. Hikawa looks like he’s struggling to control the tears. The fangirls must be lapping this up.

Results

White team wins. Both sides were very lackluster this year, but Kiyoshi’s ending performance was far more flashy than Wada’s. They were obviously aiming to give the victory to white. Welp, so much for that. See you next time for a rundown of the 60th Kohaku Utagassen!

58th Kohaku Utagassen rundown (2007 edition)

It’s been a year and a half since I did my rundown of the 57th edition. I really didn’t mean to let such a long gap elapse between posts, but that just shows how far my interest in Kohaku has dropped. The show has been losing ratings in Japan for a while, and there’s good reason for it – it’s gotten boring. It’s trying too hard to stay relevant and “entertain” with silly skits and interludes instead of letting good music (when they bother to have good musicians and not merely popular ones on) speak for itself. I still haven’t watched any of the recent ones or even downloaded the 2015 version, but maybe I’ll get round to it when I have time.

The 58th Kohaku Utagassen (2007) aired back when I still liked the show and was still quite crazy about Japanese music. I even did a quick post on it back in 2009, which you can use as a handy tl;dr because this is going to be quite a long post as usual. Expect a lot of gushing over beautiful kimonos and grumbling about dumb skits and very little else in between. Let us commence!

Introductory skit with Tsurube being his vulgar self and Nakai already showing signs of exasperation with him. Shortly before this show aired, Tsurube was in the news for an incident involving indecent exposure, so if you hear Nakai making any “porori” comments (like the sign on his fan), that’s what it’s all about.

Everyone’s lined up on the stage for the start of the show, the usual stuff. Introduction of the hosts and guests and stuff. Looks like Tsurube made a mistake in the introduction, though he could have done it on purpose. Annoying scene. Let’s start already.

1. Hello! Project 10th Kōhaku Anniversary Special Group – Morning Musume (10) Berryz Kobo (debut) Cute (°C-ute) (debut) – “Special LOVE Mix ~Shiawase no Heisei 20 Shunen Ver.~”

ハロー!プロジェクト10周年記念紅白スペシャル隊 – モーニング娘。(10)Berryz工房(初)℃-ute(初)-  Special LOVE Mix 〜幸せの平成20周年 Ver.〜

The last year Momusu appeared on Kohaku, if I’m not mistaken. Certainly the last year they were relevant in any meaningful way. I like Love Machine, so that’s good enough. So many girls on the stage I don’t even know which one to focus on. Are they lip-synching? Wait, of course they are. Haha, great scene of the judges looking bored. I sympathize, honest.

Berryz Koubou and Cute are definitely lipsynching. Hurry up and end already.

2. Kenichi Mikawa (24) “Sasoriza no Onna 2007”
美川憲一(24) さそり座の女 2007

Aghhhh, another rendition of Sasoriza no Onna from Mikawa Kenichi. A technopop version kind of thing? What a waste of a great voice. He of all people didn’t need to resort to playing dress-up to be relevant. Apparently the catch phrase of the year was “dondake” so he has some gay/transgender buddies show up to do some sort of dance or something. Mercifully short segment. Dondake!!!

3. Ichirō Toba (20) “Kyoudai Bune”

鳥羽一郎(20) 兄弟船

Last year’s Kyoudai Bune went down well, I suppose, so he’s repeating it again. I’m really happy. At least something I can sink my teeth into. I like this song. Akiko Wada is singing along, the rest are just clapping along politely. Ugh, my DVD is scratched ;____;  I like to burn episodes to DVD so I can watch and type at the same time. *sigh* Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.

4. Miyuki Kawanaka (20) “Kanazawa no Ame”
川中美幸(20) 金沢の雨

A song about a married couple, which is why Nakai dedicates it to Jinnai & Noriko Fujiwara (before their subsequent messy divorce). More polite clapping except Akiko Wada again. I love her hair decorations. The kimono design is interesting, though for some reason the weave makes it look like a bathrobe ^.^;; I don’t think I’m going to get my usual kimono fix this year. Sweet but typical enka song.

Introduction of the guest judges. Ho hum. Jinnai and Fujiwara are there not for any achievement they made that year but because they got married and everyone made a fuss about it. Famous for being famous. Though I later discovered that Jinnai is actually a pretty funny comedian.

5. w-inds. (6) “Beautiful Life”

Aww w-inds, my Kohaku won’t be same now that you guys have disbanded. This is fun to watch, actually. The little kids are cute. And the song isn’t too terrible. In fact I rather like it. This the nil se bonum principle applied to a boyband, isn’t it?

6. Mitsuko Nakamura (12) “Danjiri”
中村美律子(12) だんじり

My first time seeing Mitsuko Nakamura perform, at the time. Very taut neck skin, alias facelift. It looks pretty uncomfortable, tbh. Interesting hairdo and outfit. It’s a bit hard to know what to focus on with all the gymnastics going on in the background. Nothing special about the song.

7. Takeshi Kitayama (3) “Oga Hantou” 北山たけし(3) 男鹿半島

More gymnastics. Nice sparkly tie, I want. Another song that doesn’t make much use of his quality voice. Hmm, just an okay song. Rawr, you have to be man, rawr, but watch these people teeter unsteadily on each others’ shoulders first. The gymnastic people are known as “Muscle Musical” or something like that. Brief, pointless performance.

8. Yōko Nagayama (14) “Jonkara Onna Bushi”
長山洋子(14) じょんから女節

I like this song and the vivid purple accents on her outfit. Go on Yoko, show that shamisen who’s boss! The backup players look a bit stagestruck. Powerful, passionate belting out of the tune, that’s what is needed to lift these standard enka songs above the ordinary. Full points to Yoko Nagayama, especially for that flourish at the end.

9. Exile (3) “Lovers Again ~Kōhaku Version~”

I’ve never seen the point of Exile, sorry. I guess they’re better singers and dancers than SMAP (even the frogs in my pond are better singers than Nakai). Apart from that. …Umm… They look kind of old to be prancing around like ballerinas like that. Umm… yeah.

10. Mihimaru GT (2) “Gazen Yeah!” (俄然Yeah!)

Mihimaru GT again! Don’t forget to “crap” your hands!! It’s a catchy song actually. Not as catchy as the dancers are trying to make it out to be, but a job is a job. Who’s that on the side with the flag… oh, she gave it to the singer. Ah so.

11. WaT (3) “WaT Kōhaku Selection”

Everyone keeps hurrying Tsurube along when he starts to talk. Even Wentz wants him to shut up so he can go stand by. Medley of WaT songs for those who like that sort of thing. Nothing in this for me.

Stupid, stupid skit backstage, but it’s interesting to see what things are like back there. Would have been better without Tsurube – I can only imagine the bashing he must have received from viewers that year.

12. Angela Aki (2) “Sakura Iro”
アンジェラ・アキ(2) サクラ色

Angela Aki has a few songs I like, like “Home” but this one is very forgettable. I have watched this Kohaku a few times, but I can’t remember this song for the life of me. Sit down and play your piano, girl. Then again I’m the one who advocated passionate performances and this is certainly one. Just wish I liked the song better.

13. Akira Fuse (23) “Kimi wa Bara yori Utsukushii”
布施明(23) 君は薔薇より美しい

Akira Fuse can really do a number on this song (in a good way) given the chance, but I’m guessing he’s performed it so many times on Japanese TV that they felt the need to spice it up with a jazzier instrumental and some “sexy” rather similar-looking ex-Takarazuka actresses. Both additions ruin the song, IMO. Also his boring black suit clashes with the fancy red evening gowns the ladies are wearing. Wear something more Vegas if you want to go that route. These are hardly love song lyrics, either. “You were really boring before but now you’re sexy so I want you.” Get lost, creep!

14. Kaori Kōzai (15) “Mugon Zaka”
香西かおり(15) 無言坂

Hold on, I have to mentally psych myself for the screechy “zakaaaa” at the end. Phew, okay, ready. The kimono and hair decs are both disappointing. And the girls in the background aren’t adding a single thing. Oh, the “zakaaaa” wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting. She must have taken singing lessons after last year.

Some interim voting for One-Seg etc.

15. Kiyoshi Maekawa & Cool Five (17) “Soshite, Kobe”
前川清(&クール・ファイブ)(17) そして、神戸

Moody Katsuyama must be one of those flash-in-the-pan celebrities who come and go in every showbiz in the world. I love this song though, so it’s cool. Nakai making fun of Tsurube for the 10th time isn’t though. Ooh, love this song. Koobeeee~ Not even Maekawa bursting into laughter at the end could spoil the performance. The subtle sparkles in his suit make everything better.

16. Kaori Mizumori (5) “Hitori Satsumaji”
水森かおり(5) ひとり薩摩路

Another long dress to hide the platform shoes. Very fancy stage with the dancers and wispy things. I like it. Typical heartbreak enka song though. Ooh, more wispy things in different colors. Nice and colorful!

Oshirikajirimushi Special Stage

Sekine and daughter + Taka and Toshi introduce the skit. Oshirikajirmushiiii. So cute! Kajitte kajiite kajitte nanbo! The kids are even cuter. Awwwwwwww~ Even Tsurube got in on the act. He seems to be having fun.

Results of the early voting. White team is ahead. Won’t these things influence the final score? Not sure it’s the best idea. Then some random conversation introducing the next performances.

17. AKB48 (debut), Leah Dizon (debut), Shoko Nakagawa (debut) “Nihon ga Hokoru Saisentan! Special Medley”
AKB48(初)リア・ディゾン(初)中川翔子(初) 日本が誇る最先端! スペシャルメドレー[12] (会いたかった(AKB48)、恋しよう♪(リア・ディゾン)、空色デイズ(中川翔子)、なんてったってアイドル)

New and hot on the scene, AKB48 make their first appearance. Little did anyone know what horrors had just been unleashed on the world, brr! Haha, actually I don’t care anything about them. Aitakatta, aaa itakatta, no! They’re just there to prance and look pretty while the song plays in the background.

Leah Dizon has yet to make a proper comeback. She’s not lip syncing, at least, I can tell because she sounds horrible. It’s hard for those body-promoting “singers” to last long because there’s always someone younger or cuter or willing to show more flesh. That probably why Shokotan decided to go after the loyal otakus instead. Okay enough already, next segment please. Haha, funny shot of Yui Aragaki looking totally baffled during the performance of Nante tatte Idol. Then again she always looks baffled.

18. Kome Kome Club (5) “AiKimi Roman”
米米CLUB(5) 愛君浪漫

Yay, Kome Kome Club! YEAAAH! Welcome back! I always like the ultra-exaggerated, clear way Ishii enunciates his words. It’s very good for learning Japanese if you’re working on that now. I love their music too. I like this new Aa Roman Hikou song too. Highly enjoyable stuff, almost makes up for the “idols” that came before.

More conversation between Ishii and Tsurube then interrupted by Nakai. No fun.

19. Ayaka (2) “Peace Loving People ~Special Piano Version~”
Rather pedestrian song. Then she’s joined by Kobukuro for a rendition of “Winding Road.” Dunno, don’t care. I should find something more to say… But I got nothing so let’s keep going. Okay, nice Steinway piano, I want one.

20. Porno Graffiti (6) “Link”

Tsurube has a bit of trouble pronouncing their name, but they don’t have any problem singing. This song didn’t make it into my top 5 of Porno Graffiti songs, but it’s not bad. Just seems a little generic. It sounds like something anyone could sing, if that makes sense. It’s a nice song though. The NHK Hall and the audience is surprisingly small for such a prestigious show.

Mogi Kenichiro released a game about brains or something and mutters about music massaging the brain or something. Some songs massage my brain but others molest it. Let’s see if I feel any smarter after this.

21. Sukima Switch (3) “Kanade”
スキマスイッチ(3) 奏(かなで)

Hmm, not really. Pretty standard song about parting and saying goodbye and stuff. Rather lukewarm reception from the audience as well, maybe because the song seems to come to an abrupt end.

22. Natsuko Godai (14) “Fune”
伍代夏子(14) 舟

At first glance her kimono seemed rather plain, but once she gets up on the stage you realize it helps he stand out from the girls in the background, so that’s good. Shokotan trying to steal some attention from behind is kinda cringeworthy, though. Tsurube even has a go at her. Forgettable song and performance.

23. Masato Sugimoto (debut) “Waremokō”
すぎもとまさと(初) 吾亦紅

One of the hit songs of the year, in the vein of an apology to a late mother from her faithless, neglectful son. Masato Sugimoto had been a singer for decades before Waremoko finally put him on the map. Nice, moving song, though it didn’t turn out to be the massive seller Tsurube predicted in his pre-performance spiel. Maybe a little too sappy even for sentimental Japanese listeners.

24. Amin (2) “Matsuwa’07”
あみん(2) 待つわ’07

15 years after they broke up they reunited for this performance. The lady on the left looks like an ex-coworker of mine so I like Amin a lot (lol). This song makes me break out in goosebumps, honestly. Even though I hate the “I’ll wait for you lyrics,” the harmony is just so perfect and simple, I love it. That “Matsu wa” with the echo is just too perfect.

25. Akira Terao (2) “Ruby no Yubiwa”
寺尾聰(2) ルビーの指環

Hasn’t been on Kohaku for 26 years. Ruby no Yubiwa was the No. 1 song for 12 weeks when it was first released. I myself have heard it several times, though not this funkified version which I quite like. This is the first time I’ve bothered to read the lyrics. Apparently his backing instrumentalists are all famous pro studio/session musicians, not that an amateur like me would know them. They all seem to be having a blast up there. My kind of show! *clap clap clap*

26. Ayaka Hirahara (平原綾香) (4) “Jupiter”

The song was a support song for a village/town that was destroyed a few years ago but has now recovered. I prefer the version of this same “Jupiter” tune by Gustav Holst that is set to I Vow to Thee My Country by Sir Cecil Spring Rice. Try to find a version sung by a mass choir at a funeral, I guarantee chills will run down your spine. As for Ayaka Hirahara’s version, it’s decent. Her performances usually come across as a bit lifeless  but she’s putting her all in this one, and that counts for something.

27. BoA (6) “BoA Winter Ballad Special”

They’re really rushing their introductions now, it makes me uncomfortable. I tend to like these simpler songs and performances so it’s nice that BoA was given a chance to shine. The song doesn’t do anything for me, though, and I think she’s screeching a bit on some of the notes.

28. Toshihide Baba (debut) “Start Line~Atarashii Kaze”
馬場俊英(初) スタートライン〜新しい風

Naito Daisuke invited to give some comments about perserverance because Baba started his singing career after being fired from his day job at 40. Naito says he tried twice to get the championship and succeeded the third time. Nice song. The teeth are his ‘charm point’ as they say in Japan, and I like his voice. He has a lineup of star backing instrumentalists from Kobukuro and kiroro and someone else, I think?

29. Masashi Sada (さだまさし)(19) “Birthday”

The theme song for a show by Tsurube and he talks on and on about his show and how 13 years ago he and Sada worked together to start the show until the producer comes and shoos Sada onto the stage. Nakai looks on pins and needles until Sada finally starts singing. It’s not that different from the “Kakashi” song he sang two years ago. Some scenes from their road trip or something. Hmm, not really necessary, the song is good enough on its own.

30. Fuyumi Sakamoto (19) “Yozakura Oshichi ~Ōmisoka Special~”
坂本冬美(19) 夜桜お七 〜大晦日スペシャル〜

Nakai forces the conversation to move on before Tsurube can start warbling and introduces Fuyumi along with a popular Noh actor of some sort. Saotome something. Yozakura Oshichi is my favorite Fuyumi Sakamoto song. She looks good in the delicately colored yukata, despite my preference for more dramatic outfits. An enjoyable performance despite the pointlessness of the crossdresser dancing in the background. Whoa, where did all the other background dancers come from? That’s cool. The sudden appearance, I mean, not those creepy hooded outfits. Nice flourish at the end. Sakamoto is no slouch herself.

More mid-way voting going on, something which doesn’t mean much in the long-term as far s I know.

Izumi Sakai Tsuitō Kikaku, Zard Film Concert Live stream, “Yureru Omoi” “Glorious Mind” “Makenaide”
坂井泉水追悼企画 ZARDフィルムコンサート中継「揺れる想い」「グロリアス マインド」「負けないで」

This was the year Izumi Sakai died after a bad fall suffered while undergoing cancer treatment. I was reasonably familiar with her music. She never performed at Kohaku so this is her way to show up, featuring never before released footage. Glorious Mind is the last song she wrote before she died, though she had about 300 other unreleased songs. Her producers are going to be rich! Someone reads a letter from her? …? Someone pretending to be her. It’s hard to die and have people write whatever they want to about you. Not that you care anyway since you’re kinda dead.

Okay, results of halfway voting appears. White team is winning. There’s a news break, but I don’t have that.

31. Sachiko Kobayashi (29) “Koizakura”
小林幸子(29) 恋桜

And now for my favorite Sachiko Kobayashi song. Preceded by young(er) SMAP all teasing Tsurube about wearing clothes this time. Quick shot of Gackt preparing for his stage, then some samurai is sent scurrying off… oh man, now I remember why I stopped watching Kohaku Utagassen.

But yay, Sachiko “Last Boss” Kobayashi singing Koizakura! I love this song. Love her shiny cherry blossom outfit too. I think I’m enjoying myself for the first time since I started this edition. “Anata ni chiritai~!” I wish she would sing the whole song, I like it so much. Whoa, that kaleidoscope behind her is truly blinding. Love it! Last Boss forever!

And then Tsurube and Nakai do something truly dreadful by going forward to try and study the outfit in more detail. That’s just not done, and they really shouldn’t be showing the stage going down and all that. It detracts quite a bit from the magic, which is just not right. I’m sorry, Ms Kobayashi.

32. Gackt (5) “Returner ~Yami no Shūen~Kieyuku Samurai e no Requiem~”
RETURNER 〜闇の終焉〜消え逝く武士(サムライ)への鎮魂歌(レクイエム)〜

Gackt as Uesugi Kenshin. He’s such a drama queen. A bad drama queen, but he seems to be having fun, so good for him. Man… what a drama queen… did I say that already? Whatever, this is fun bad drama. The whole thing is just a  long advert for that year’s NHK drama Furin Kazan. And I love Returner, easily my favorite Gackt song. I hope all these samurai extras got paid plenty of money. The double bass player seems to be having a little too much fun, lol. Lip synch away, Gakuto-kun!

33. Ai Otsuka (大塚愛) (4) “Chu-Lip”

Nakai quickly moving the conversation along before Tsurube can start rambling. Uh-oh, doushiyou, I like this song too! I like the part near the end where they go Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi. The crazy outfits just fit the crazy song and mood. Nazo, Idenshi, Nazo, Idenshi.

34. Tokio (14) “SEISYuN” (青春 SEISYuN)

This song was written by Nagabuchi Tsuyoshi, whose music I love. I remember liking this song, but let’s see if my memory was correct. Haha, they pulled out the Tokio leader’s picture from last year, I love that joke. ^_^ Oh yeah, I do like this song. It’s very Nagabuchi-like. The firey background makes it seem even more Nagabuchi. The only catch is, I really want to see Nagabuchi himself sing it. This guy’s voice is too nice (just like Nagabuchi’s used to be before he deliberately ruined it with cigarettes and alcohol, but that’s a story for another day). Anyway, fun song. Shinjiru no sa, towa to mirai to ashita wooooo! Wao, LOVE the flames in the back!

35. Noriyuki Makihara (槇原敬之) (2) “Green Days”

Aragaki Yui, whatever happened to her? Guess she’s still around somewhere. But she says she’s a fan of Noriyuki Makihara. So am I! And I’m a big fan of this song too. Wish they wouldn’t make it so obvious that they’re reading off the teleprompter. I really, really like this tune and his voice and the serious grey suit and the green background and everything. Looks like looking up at a forest ceiling. Very passionate, engaging performance Massugu ni, massugu ni nobiru~

Wahaha, Tomonori Jinnai and Norika Fujiwara back when they were still married. Lovely golden dress on Norika and nice hair and hair accessories.

36. Ayumi Hamasaki (9) (浜崎あゆみ) “Together When…”

“Together when” you stop divorcing them, Ayumi-chan! Simple dress and performance. Boring song and bad voice are the downsides. Aaaaagh, she can’t hold a tune. That’s one person who should really lipsynch. Honest, I don’t mind, please. She broke the chain of great songs I had going on. Boo, hiss. Let’s see if the next one can help get me back in the mood.

37. Kiyoshi Hikawa (8) “Kiyoshi no Sōran Bushi, YOSAKOI no Sōran Kōhaku Special”
氷川きよし(8) きよしのソーラン節 YOSAKOIソーラン紅白スペシャル

Okajima Hideki gives Kiyoshi some advice about working hard at age 30 and stuff. Pointless, I keep saying. Fun song, he seems to be enjoying himself as well. Dokkoisho! Dokkoisho! Whoa, talk about an energetic performance. I would break my back if I tried to dance like that! They do make Yosakoi look fun, don’t they?

38. aiko (6) “Shiawase” (シアワセ)

Oh, aiko. She seems so nice, but her songs are always so boring. I don’t think I have heard a single one I like. A delay in the setup means Nakai and Tsurube has to fill the gap with random chatter. Being a host isn’t easy. Shiawase is the Aiko song that comes closest to something I would listen to again, since it has a catchy beat. I like her hair too.

Some set up going on in the background that we probably shouldn’t be seeing. Tsurube and aiko reminiscing about Tsurube’s birthday party where aiko sang or something like that. They chat so long that Nakai has to interrupt Tsurube yet again.

39. Kumi Koda (3) “Ai no Uta”
倖田來未(3) 愛のうた

Kumi-chaaan in an unusually modest and understated outfit – by her standards, anyway. And I quite like this song too. What’s going on? The world is coming to an end, surely! But I’m happy I’m finally enjoying this show so it’s all good. Brilliant smile as always. I think there were rumors about Koda and Nakai dating that year, which is why Tsurube slyly comments about how cute she is afterwards.

40. Hideaki Tokunaga (2) “Koi ni Ochite -Fall in Love-“
徳永英明(2) 恋におちて -Fall in love-

Hideaki Tokunaga’s cover of Koi ni Ochite by Kobayashi Akiko, IIRC. I prefer the original especially since she doesn’t have to strain to hit the “te wo tometa” notes. She has longer, sweeter notes too, compared to Tokunaga’s shorter, breathier ones on the last notes of each line. Plus you’re not “just a woman,” Hideaki-kun! Look down! :-p Good song I listen to quite often.

41. Ataru Nakamura (debut) “Tomodachi no Uta”
中村中(初) 友達の詩

A man who had his genitals cut off and his gender “reassigned” in the mistaken thought that this would make him a “woman.” Tsurube reads a letter from his mother in a very dull, bland way. At least find someone who can put some emotion into the letter reading. According to wikipedia, Ataru Nakamura’s singing career was going nowhere until he came out about the sex change, then he got some brief attention and then went back to nothingness again. A shame because, criticism aside, it must be said that Ataru has a beautiful singing voice and this is a great song. The final “sore sura ayaui” line actually made me break out in goosebumps.

42. Ken Hirai (5) “Elegy”
平井堅(5) 哀歌 (エレジー)

Ooh, another song I like. As long as I don’t listen to the dark lyrics, that is. How long until Tsurube gets interrupted…? He really talks too much. He didn’t get interrupted, but he should have. It was funny at the beginning of the show when he said Hirai Ken would sing a song called “I am Japanese” though. He really does look Middle Eastern, maji de. Very enjoyable performance and great song. I normally watch it two or three times but this time I have to move on. Uuu, zannen.

Special performance: Misora Hibari x Ogura Kei “Ai San San” 特別企画 美空ひばり×小椋佳「愛燦燦」

Misora Hibari would have been 70 years old in 2007. Tsurube talks about how when he interviewed other stars they would always gush over Misora, then as usual Nakai cuts him short. Ogura Kei wrote the song Ai San San so he appears together with images of Misora in a sort of pseudo-duet. What a mess alcohol made of her life. Strong drink is a mocker, indeed. I love Ogura Kei’s soothing, steady, nasal delivery too. Beautiful, beautiful show.

The guest has hosted Kohaku before, I believe he said. More comments. Yakushimaru Hiroko is at Tokyo Tower. Very robotic recital of how special Tokyo Tower is to everyone or whatever. At the end of it, the tower will be lit in the colors of whichever side won, IIRC.

43. Saburō Kitajima (44) “Kaero Kana”
北島三郎(44) 帰ろかな

I like this version of Kaero Kana. The choir in the background adds some depth, so to speak. Why does Leah Dizon look so tearful? Does she somehow know she will fade completely from the public eye within three years of this show? Masaka. Sabu-chan! I’m a little surprised to see him this early in the show. Great rendition of a very moving song.

44. Yoshimi Tendō (12) “Chindo Monogatari ~Kizuna~”
天童よしみ(12) 珍島物語 〜絆〜

Hmm, a spiced up version of Chindo Monogatari? What’s with the “Kizuna”? Letter from her mom, She looks like her mother so much, lol. I see, “kizuna” means she lets everyone how powerfully she can sing by singing without backing before the standard instruments kick in. I’m impressed, I didn’t know she could sing like this. But I don’t know about this “exploding butterflies” dress…

45. Kobukuro (3) “Tsubomi”
コブクロ(3) 蕾

Blah blah, Tsurube says he wanted his old mom to see him on Kohaku, that’s why he accepted this job. Aw, Tsubrube, you shouldn’t have. No really, you shouldn’t have. He says he’s having fun, and so am I, when all’s said and done.

Tsubomi is the one Kobukuro song I almost like. Overwrought and melodramatic like all the others, but not bad, and hopeful in its own way. They wrote it in memory of one of their mothers, if I understood Tsurube’s spiel correctly. So I won’t be too hard on them.

46. Mika Nakashima (中島美嘉) (6) “Life”

Tired of of standing already? The hosts are sitting down. Even more talking from Tsurube about why he chose to host the show. He’s really boring. He wants to make people in poor areas happy when they see him on Kohaku. Nakai looks bored out of his balding little skull. Talk about a lack of chemistry.

Mika Nakashima standing straight up for a change. Nope, I was wrong, she’s stooping again. Very simple outift, okay song.  Meh. But I like the jewelry, the way the flashiness contrasts with the plain white shirt and sheer makeup. Me gusta. Ooh, the camera just wobbled! Someone must have bumped into the camera man.

47. Yo Hitoto (4) “Hanamizuki”

一青窈 ハナミズキ

Nakama Yukie! Wasn’t there a rumor of a relationship between Nakai and Nakama? Or something else? Yo Hitoto was in New York during 9/11 and was inspired by the attack to write the lyrics of “Hanamizuki.” Japanese sign language signers interpreting her song in the background. I wonder how it differs from American Sign Language? I’m not really playing attention to the song because that’s the only song Yo Hitoto ever sings so I’ve heard it hundred of times before. Signing the last few lines doesn’t change that, I’m afraid.

48. Masafumi Akikawa (2) “Sen no Kaze ni Natte”
秋川雅史(2) 千の風になって

His breakout hit from last year. I already gave my thoughts on it last time, so you can refer to the previous post for that. It’s even sadder that someone has written a letter in about how much they miss their late husband but are comforted because he’s now turned into wind… I’m sorry for your loss ma’am, but your husband hasn’t turned into anything, least of all wind. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Anyway, we’ll leave it at that this time. Akikawa sounds a little dull and muted this time. Or maybe he’s tired from singing that song 300 times a year. Is that door in the back supposed to signify the door of hope opening or something?

49. Dreams Come True (12) “A-I-SHI-TE-RU no Sign ~Watashitachi no Mirai Yosōzu~” (ア・イ・シ・テ・ルのサイン 〜わたしたちの未来予想図〜)

Miyazaki Aoi, stop staring so blatantly at the teleprompter. Brief introduction to all the concerts Dreams Come True held that year. Whoa, that’s a lot of people! I’m relieved they’re not singing Nandodemo this year… They seem to be having fun, though I don’t particularly like or dislike this song. S’aight.

50. SMAP (15) “Dangan Fighter Kōhaku SP” (弾丸ファイター 紅白SP)

I haven’t been waiting for this. They’re running out of time so again the announcer prods them to get ready for their performance. Well, whatever. Let’s get this over with. What are they wearing, vinyl sheets? No wonder they’re quitting being a boyband, lol. They start out lipsynching “Dear Woman” before moving on to Dangan Fighter… with extra vinyl sheets. And my DVD is skipping again. Oh, it’s fixed. Just when I’d found the perfect excuse to skip this performance ::_:: Boring, boring, song, boring choreography. The plastic makes me want to go on a picnic, that’s about it. Yo gotta power through this performance so you can get to the finale.

Yū Aku Memorial Corner
阿久悠追悼コーナー

Aku Yuu was a famous lyricist who wrote the lyrics of many classics of Japanese pop music in the 70s and 80s. I watched a documentary about him shortly after he passed away, which I thought I mentioned on this blog but I guess I didn’t. They did a good job of making Aku Yuu look good, but also made Yamaguchi Momoe look like a cold witch, to put it politely. Such a good job, in fact, that it took a while for me to warm up to her music.

For our last performances, we have 4 songs written by Aku Yuu, though honestly you could fill the whole show with songs by him, with very good results. Let’s enjoy these last few songs.

51. Akiko Wada (31) “Ano Kane wo Narasu no wa Anata”
和田アキ子(31) あの鐘を鳴らすのはあなた

She’s performed this song many times in many different renditions. I like this particular one, and the stark white dress and simple backing vocals that don’t drown her out – though you would have to wake up really early to drown Akiko Wada out. Those are the girls from Berryz Kobo and C-ute, aren’t they? No wonder they can’t make an impact.

52. Shinichi Mori (40) “Kita no Hotaru”
森進一 (40) 北の螢

Wooot! A song from Mori Shinichi that’s not Ofukurosan. An excellent song that features regularly on my playlist despite the dire but poignant lyrics. Hooo hooo hotaru, tonde yuke, koishii otoko no mune e ike. Pure and classic, no frills attached, none needed.

53. Sayuri Ishikawa (30) “Tsugaru Kaikyō-Fuyu Geshiki”
石川さゆり(30) 津軽海峡・冬景色

Aku Yuu really was the master of the “meikyoku,” and his lyrics were perfectly set to song by songwriter Miki Takashi. And then Ishikawa Sayuri interprets the finished song perfectly as usual. There’s no time for a real introduction, but she needs none. Interesting kimono, though I’m annoyed they rushed the start of the song. How many trees and how much paper was sacrificed to make that fake snow?

54. Hiroshi Itsuki (37) “Chigiri” (Promise)
五木ひろし(37) 契り

One of my favorite Japanese songs of all time. I heard it once many, many years ago and it haunted my dreams for ages until I finally found it again and could listen to it often enough to blunt the edge of the effect… or so I’d hoped, but it’s still as powerful as ever no matter how many times I hear it. Great song. Ai suru hito yo, sukoyaka ni. Makes me want to cry. Snf. Beautiful, beautiful.

55. Sekai ni Hitotsu dake no Hana (世界に一つだけの花) → Hotaru no Hikari (蛍の光)

Tch. The show should have ended with Chigiri. SMAP is such a comedown from that. At least they shouldn’t have let Nakai sing. The white team wins and Tokyo Tower is lit… blue?? to celebrate. That final performance by Hiroshi Itsuki alone should have won them the night. But the red team had some good, powerful performances too. And the DVD is skipping again so… That’s enough then. Good show, everyone!